Chapter 29

Tina walked into the crowded Chinese restaurant and scanned the crowd for her dinner companions. Much to her dismay, Alice insisted that they meet for dinner at the new Chinese restaurant, which had been booked solid since the night it had opened. Once she saw Alice waving frantically in the air, Tina casually walked to the table near the back of the restaurant. Along the way, she turned and twisted to fit between the crowded tables, having no clear path to the table. She found herself apologizing as she bumped into people along the way, silently cursing the restaurant management for worrying more about a profit than the comfort of the patrons.

“Why couldn’t we meet at our normal Chinese place?” Tina asked as she sat down at the crowded table. “I hate overcrowded restaurants that care more about atmosphere than they do food.”

“Everyone who is anyone comes here now,” Alice said proudly. “I practically had to screw my editor to get this table.”

“That’s nice Al,” Shane said dismissively. “I’m sure Kristen would appreciate that.”

“I’m not serious, he slept with Gabbie, so even if I wasn’t madly in love with Kristen I’m not getting involved in that vicious circle.”

Tina looked around at the tables that were packed with people and rolled her eyes.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Tina squirmed in her seat. “The four of us can hardly fit at this table.”

“Speaking of,” Dana set her menu down on the small table. “Where’s Bette? I thought she was coming too.”

“Let me guess,” Alice broke into the conversation. “She’s working late?”

“No,” Tina smiled. “She’s not working, but it’s a good thing she isn’t here or we’d really have serious problems with space.”

“If she’s not working, why isn’t she here?”

“Well lately Bette’s been….” Tina frowned in Alice’s direction as she interrupted her thought.

“She’s been acting so strangely these days,” Alice said curious about her friend’s most recent behavior. “You know I stopped by to see Angie last week, when she told me she was on summer vacation, and Bette was home! It was broad daylight, during the week, so imagine my shock when Bette opened the door.”

“She lives there Al,” Tina said skimming the menu. “I don’t think it’s that odd to answer your own front door.”

“It is when she usually lives at that gallery. I think she’s hiding out from something and that’s why she’s been acting so strange these days.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“In fact I did,” Alice leaned back remembering the conversation. “If my memory serves me correctly she answered with the same sarcasm you did saying she lived there so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to be curious who was at the door and answer it. In fact, that brings up another question.”

“I’m holding my breath in anticipation,” Tina mocked.

“Do you have cue cards for all your responses since they seem to always be the same?”

“It comes from years of fulfilling the lesbian urge to merge,” Tina joked. “I can’t believe what they want for shrimp fried rice here!”

“Focus TK,” Alice snapped to get Tina’s attention. “Are you going to share what’s caused this mysterious transformation to the new Bette?”

“Did you ask her yourself?” Tina challenged.

“Yeah, but she made a lame attempt at throwing me off the trail of what’s really going on.”

“And this lame answer was?” Tina questioned.

“Something about therapy for 2 months every week and coming to terms with ghosts,” Alice rattled off the general concept of Bette’s answer. “Does she really think we’re that naïve to believe that she willingly went into therapy?”

“I don’t think Bette cares whether you believe her reason or not,” Shane said as she waved the waiter over to order their meals for the evening. “I think we should leave it alone and just be grateful she isn’t working herself into the ground like she did preparing for ‘Choices’ to open.”

The waiter stood before them, pen ready, taking their orders and disappearing quickly into the crowded restaurant.

“Al, not that I should have to offer an explanation, but part of Bette’s new found freedom is that she had offers from other galleries to showcase ‘Choices’ and sent it on to MoMA. The success of the show was incredible.”

“I called her the other day and someone else answered her phone,” Dana added. “To be honest I was shocked. I must have sounded like a mumbling idiot trying to ask to speak to Bette.”

“That’s her new assistant,” Tina smiled. “She’s an art history major and wanted to boost her resume by getting a paying job in the field. Plus, just between us, she followed Bette’s career and I think that stroked her ego just enough that she hired her on the spot.”

“So the show has moved on and she got herself a new assistant,” Alice pondered the facts. “Why not just tell me that instead of making up some story about therapy and ghosts?”

“Not that I need to tell you, but that part is true too,” Tina grabbed a roll that was placed in a basket on the table. “I hope they don’t think we can eat with just chopsticks.”

“Focus Tina,” Alice leaned forward to stare into Tina’s eyes. “Are you guys ok if she was serious about the therapy stuff?”

“It’s not about us,” Tina clarified, “It truly is about her dealing with her past.”

“What part of it?” Dana asked curious.

“Specifically she went to get help dealing with Melvin’s death,” Tina explained. “I think she’s also worked on how Megan’s situation makes her feel.”

“But you two are doing ok?”

“Wonderful,” Tina confirmed with a smile. “I hate to see her struggle, and was scared when she woke me up one night in tears saying she had to deal with losing Melvin, but it’s a journey she has to walk for herself and I support her where I can.”

Tina looked down at the roll in her hand and frowned.

“Does anyone else think it’s strange to have rolls in a Chinese restaurant?”

“I like them,” Shane offered. “They remind me of a Hawaiian sweet roll.”

“People, can we please focus on Bette for a moment?” Alice said slightly annoyed.

“Certainly Alice,” Tina said in a tone that made Shane and Dana laugh.

“So it’s this Megan thing that’s bringing up her feelings about Melvin?”

“I’m sure waiting for the other shoe to drop can’t be easy,” Shane pointed out. “It essentially keeps hitting her in the face when she looks at Megan struggling at this point.”

“Basically that’s what she said.”

Tina finished her glass of water while looking for the waiter to order a drink from the extensive specialty drink menu.

“They need more staff,” Tina complained. “With all these people here you can’t even spot any of the wait staff let alone your own.”

Tina looked over at Alice who had arched her eyebrow waiting for Tina to continue with the discussion surrounding Bette.

“What?” Tina shot back. “There’s not much to tell beyond that Alice. Megan asked Bette to make sure that Sarah doesn’t grow up thinking Megan deserted her. In order to do that, Bette needs to come to terms with her father not accepting treatment despite her pleading with him.”

“Megan’s pretty smart,” Alice smiled. “I think she knew what she was doing when she made her request. It forces Bette into dealing with what she’s buried for so long.”

“And people say you’re slow Alice,” Tina laughed. “I’m sure Megan knew what she was doing and wanted to ensure she did something for Bette by giving her the motivation to deal with what she’s avoided for so long.”

“Isn’t it amazing what a profound effect someone has on your life?” Alice leaned back to relax while she philosophized about life. “It’s been years and yet her relationship with her father, up to the very end, shapes so much of what she does.”

“It was her father, I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“I, for one, am glad she’s dealing with it. It’s just sad that she’s driven because of Megan’s sad circumstances.”

“If there were ever a silver lining of a cloud, Bette waking me up that night and making an appointment the very next day with her therapist would be it when it comes to Megan.”

“You don’t think the silver lining is you adding to your family when you wanted a baby?” Dana asked. “You’ll have Sarah without the threat of carrying a baby to your own health.”

“That is a blessing, but it seems so shallow and selfish to think of that as a silver lining. She truly should be with her mother and it breaks my heart to think she won’t be.”

“She’ll know her through you,” Alice offered. “You’ve spent enough time with Megan now that she lives with you to accurately tell Sarah the type of woman Megan is.”

“I can’t help but to think of how empty the house will be when the day comes,” Tina said sadly. “I’m not sure how we’ll all react to that since we’ve come to love both Megan and Sarah so much.”

“Angelica’s coming around then?” Shane asked proud of her niece.

“She’s been great helping with Sarah,” Tina smiled but allowed it to fade quickly. “I think she’s now avoiding Megan though, especially since it’s summer vacation and Megan seems so frail.”

“I’m amazed she’s lasted this long,” Alice muttered.

“That’s a horrible thing to say!”

“Dana,” Alice began to reason. “I don’t want Megan to die, but she hasn’t been well for a while. I’ve seen it countless times, when someone is sick, they meet the goal they’ve been staying alive for and within days they die because they’ve done what they set out to do.”

“This is depressing,” Tina set her drink down near her plate. “We need to change the subject away from Megan dying.”

“How can you think of anything else?” Alice pushed a bit harder. “I mean every day you wake up it has to be on your mind.”

“It is, but I’m trying to also be there for my wife who has made remarkable strides in dealing with her own demons around the subject. That’s my priority.”

The waiter finally brought the food to the table, placing everyone’s order in front of then quickly. Shane quickly dug into her plate receiving a nudge from Alice’s elbow.

“What?” Shane asked with noodles hanging out of her mouth before she sucked them up.

“Don’t you want to share?”

“No,” Shane smiled. “If I wanted what you ordered I would have just ordered it to begin with.”

“Well I want some of yours.”

“Then you should have ordered it,” Shane simply said. “Nobody twisted your arm to order what you did.”

“I thought we could all share so we can sample more than one dish.”

“I don’t share,” Shane said bluntly as she chewed some more. “Ask Tina.”

“I don’t share either,” Tina said with a smile to tease Alice some more. “You’ll have to ask Dana.”

“I’ve shared enough with you over the years,” Dana piped in.

“Wonderful,” Alice balanced her chopsticks in her fingers. “When mine is better than all of yours, don’t be asking to sample any of mine, because now I don’t share either.”

Tina, Shane, and Dana all looked at one another hesitating for a moment before breaking into laughter at Alice’s expense.

Bette pushed the noodle concoction she made for dinner from one side of her plate to the other, struggling to swallow what was already in her mouth.

“I told you to go to dinner with your friends,” Megan said watching Bette attempt to eat the dinner she made.

“Ugh,” Bette pushed the plate aside. “This is not fit for man nor beast. It’s times like these that I really appreciate Tina’s cooking.”

“I think you left an ingredient out of the sauce.”

“Well one could hardly screw up boiling water for pasta,” Bette reasoned. “It has to be the sauce that’s not right.”

“Why didn’t you go to dinner with your friends?”

“Exhaustion,” Bette took a sip of her iced tea. “Between moving the show out and therapy I’ve had a long week.”

“I’m proud of you. Coming to terms with what happened with your father can’t be easy.”

“It isn’t.”

“And yet you do it in stride,” Megan said smiling. “You never cease to amaze me.”

“Clearly you give me too much credit,” Bette smiled. “Especially when it comes to cooking.”

Bette pushed her plate away and smiled at Megan.

“There’s always a pizza,” Bette offered. “Care to share one with me?”

“You should if you’re hungry, but I don’t have much of an appetite these days.”

“I’m sorry Megan,” Bette said sincerely. “It’s been a long week for everyone hasn’t it?”

“That explains why Sarah went down so easily,” Megan smiled. “Thank you for helping me give her a bath before I can’t do it even with help.”

Megan blinked back tears in her eyes as Bette covered her hand with her own to comfort her.

“You can let go ya know,” Bette smiled warmly at Megan. “Sarah’s asleep, Angelica is at Cathy’s house for another hour, and Tina won’t be back until around then anyway.”

“Thanks, but I’d rather hear about your progress than to wallow in self-pity.”

“I finally figured out why I was so haunted by Melvin’s decision,” Bette sighed as she leaned back in her chair. “There was this one moment, Tina was there, and we were sitting beside his bed and she sort of pulled me to her. She was pregnant and I just laid my head against her and I felt a peace I hadn’t in a long time around my father.”

“Because Tina was there?”

“Because I wasn’t censoring my actions to make him comfortable,” Bette explained. “I told Tina we had never done that and she made some off handed remark asking me if she had never held me before. I remember smiling and telling her that we had never shown any affection in front of him to make him comfortable.”

“What happened?”

“He woke up and said he was happy to see us together,” Bette blinked back tears threatening to spill over. “But it turned out he was seeing my mother Maxine and not Tina holding me.”

“He probably was,” Megan simply said. “My mom said that when it’s time people that you love that have gone before you come back to get you to make it easy on you.”

“I just wanted him to accept me and all that I had accomplished,” Bette admitted. “I worked all my life for his approval and no matter how successful I was in business, he never truly accepted me as a success because of who I loved.”

“I thought you were the apple of his eye?”

“I was when I catered to him and hid affection between Tina and I,” Bette admitted. “He never even asked me how she was when we’d talk.”

“Tina seemed so compassionate to Melvin from what I’ve heard.”

“He was sick,” Bette said sadly. “And she is amazing and the most caring woman I’ve ever known. In the end I just wanted acceptance and I didn’t get it.”

“Are you sure he never accepted your life as a lesbian? Or at least the love of your life?”

“I kissed her once in front of him when he called her Tina,” Bette said remembering that moment clearly. “He never said a word about it.”

“I think Melvin accepted your relationship in his own way,” Megan tried to convince Bette.

“I’m not sure, but one thing I have learned is that as long as I’ve accepted myself, I’m secure in my decisions. My father doesn’t make me a success, because success is different for everyone.”

“Money isn’t always what matters.”

“No it isn’t,” Bette said deep in thought. “My family is what matters to me.”

“I’m proud of you,” Megan smiled. “And as much as I want to hear more because you’ve come so far, I’m exhausted.”

“Here,” Bette got up and helped Megan to her feet. “Let me help you get in bed.”

Bette walked Megan to bed and helped her under the covers, pulling them up to right under Megan’s chin. She bent down and kissed Megan’s forehead lightly, smiling into her eyes.

“Sweet dreams,” Bette began to walk out of the room when she turned and faced Megan once more. “I never did thank you for making me deal with Melvin’s death and how I feel about not getting his acceptance.”

Megan smiled at her friend and winked.

“Thank you,” Bette said sincerely. “You’ve taught me more than I ever thought possible.”

Bette quietly walked out of the room leaving Megan lying in bed in the dark. The moon partially lit a corner of the room, but not enough to keep an exhausted Megan awake. Bette had opened the window and a slight breeze was blowing through the room to cool Megan off.

Megan snuggled deep under the covers, sighing deeply, and then closing her eyes surrendering to the night in the hopes of resting soundly. The breeze picked up, caressing her skin lightly, as she held onto the covers tight. When the breeze picked up once again, Megan opened her eyes to look outside and see if a storm was blowing in.

The moonlight was shining bright in the corner of the room. Megan broke out into a sweat, her breathing becoming erratic as she squinted at the lit corner. Her mouth flew open as she struggled with breathing, each breath coming shallower than the one before.

“Janet?” Megan quietly said as a figure emerged from the light in the corner.

“I’m here Baby,” Janet said with a kind smile.

The figure walked to the side of Megan’s bed, placing a hand over Megan’s, which was warm and comforting to Megan.

“Oh God, is it time?”