CHAPTER 7

Still feeling half-asleep, I move my arm reaching for Carmen. She’s been having a nightmare or an agitated dream, she tosses and turns on the mattress. I am barely awake when my fingertips touch her flat stomach. She’s warm and soft and smooth and I open wide my palm, lingering on her skin. I can feel her inhale and exhale slowly, relaxe under my touch and I roll on my stomach, moving closer to her, interweaving my legs with hers. She turns to her side and her hands reach blindly for my face, they cup my cheeks.

And her lips are on mine and we kiss, warm and tender kisses spreading and flying like white butterflies. We don’t say a word, we just snuggle up to each other and the more the kisses deepen, the more I feel myself floating in Carmen’s scent and taste and into her own, personal universe. Our universe where there’s only love and devotion.

”I didn’t hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don’t want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh I am what I am
I do what I want
But I can’t hide…”

Carmen moans into my mouth, a soft, silent moan and my head spins. Under her t-shirt her skin is getting warmer, her muscles vibrate under my touch and for a second I forget about everything that is not her. I cup her breasts and she sighs, kissing my neck, her breath tickling me and making me shiver and every single cell inside of me is asking for more.

She’s all over me, her whole body lies over mine and I run my fingers on her bare skin, under her clothes, as she runs hers through my hair. Warm bed warm bodies warm everything. I need her so much that it hurts. Our love is the only reassurance left to me, it’s our shield against the fear, against the uncertainties, the anxiety, the pain of memories that shouldn’t surface as easily as they do. Licking her collarbone and tasting the salty taste of her sweat, mixed with that fruited aroma Carmen leaves behind like a trail.

”And I won’t go
I won’t sleep
I can’t breathe
Until you’re resting here with me
And I won’t leave
I can’t hide
I cannot be
Until you’re resting here with me”