Tina was still seated at the funeral home alone now, quiet all around her, the faint sound of traffic up the street could be heard through the open doors of the Hall‘s doors. The sound of Fall’s leaves skipping down the sidewalk and a subtle breeze blowing through the open doors was all she could hear. The afternoon soft glow of Sunlight that shone so brightly on the floor and thought the hammered glass, seemed to mock her with it’s cheerfulness. She couldn’t help staring at the side profile of this human being she’d pledged her life to forever. Laying their in a great suit, that was tailored made to fit the body perfectly, face clean and peaceful. His eyes were closed and she was expecting him to raise up, yawn and wink at her like he did every morning with a goofy smile before he kissed her cheek. He was a good man, a loving man who she’d loved since they were children together back in Montana. But here he laid still and lifeless. Behind those darkened, closed eyelids she could imagine the crystal blue eyes, smiling at her. The times she was lost in those eyes, after making love or a long gaze from coming together after so long apart. She felt her heart lurch and she gripped the crumpled tissue tighter in her hand to keep from screaming. Maybe this dull pain in her palm would suffice long enough until she was alone to truly vent.

Alice was standing at the back of the church, trying to hold herself together for her friend. Tasha’s loving hand stroked her back and she could feel the tight muscles jump at her contact. Alice turned to Tasha and buried her neck into her shoulder, crying slowly.

“I don’t know how to help her.” She whispered into Tasha’s ear. Tasha couldn’t respond to that declaration instead she just held her tighter and Alice felt like falling into her and letting her take away as much pain as possible. Alice could feel the flex of Tasha’s arms engulf her and she let out a mournful shriek, that echoed in the empty church. Still Tina did not turn around, she knew Alice was watching her and she knew that Alice had known her long enough to know that she needed to be alone and away from everyone. She never took her eyes away from her husband’s lifeless body laying before her. This empty vessel was supposed to be here with her, like he promised. Instead he’d been gone for four days now and she still felt like any minute he was going to call her and tell her another wild story of an adventure he’d had with his friends. Right then she remembered looking at his face when he got off the plane from India. His scruffy unshaven face was dirty and sunburned and his clothes carried more of the road than he knew, but his smile was the same and she ran up to him arms out in front and he’d picked her up and kissed her so long that she swore the whole world must’ve passed them by. His strong and gentle voice tickled her ears when she hugged his chest, “I missed you so much.”. It seemed to echo in her mind, over and over. The feel of her hands roaming over his strong back and the way it moved when he ran his hands up and down her body, almost squeezing her tighter with every move.