She felt Alice grab her shoulders and squeeze them, she didn’t want to hear what she had to say, she twisted and turned her body trying to get away from Alice. She had to be lying to her, her husband had to be alive. He couldn’t leave her now, not like this. Somehow Tina’s legs ended up in Alice’s lap as she squeezed her screaming form tighter and tighter against the wall.

　

……………………………..

　

Three weeks later and she was still wearing Rick’s pants. The comfortable ones they’d shared easily because Tina couldn’t stop stealing them and he always told her it was cute when she wore his clothes. Her body was sore and broken. She’d been throwing up and she’d couldn’t recall the last time she’d ate anything. Her house was dark and drawn within itself, they way she needed it to be. The bedroom was her sanctuary, her place of restless nights and tear filled mornings. Like a custom she’d turn over wanting so badly to see his face, his eyes staring at her while she slept, his eyes pulling blush from her daily, and the way every look felt like an ‘I love you’. Or his hand creeping up from her hip to run his pinky over her little belly button and tickle her awake. These useless memories taunted her and plagued her dearly. Mornings. Mornings were the hardest part of her day, she wanted to make love to him, hold him close to her body after climax and feel every bit of him love her so tenderly in that moment.

Instead she clung to the sheets heavy from their love making and cried into them daily. She hugged them close moaned as she rocked back and forth wanting, needing him to save her from this pain. Each day there was nothing, no phone calls, no visitors and no Rick. The silence in her home hung heavy with a pregnant expectation of his voice, his boots pounding the hallway, or even the jingle of his keys hitting the plate by the front door.

One day the pounding on the door was unbearable and the persistent voice at the door made several declarations of not going away until she’d seen her. Alice was determined to see Tina, she’d called several times everyday and each time the call would go straight to voicemail, her newspapers were all over the front porch and Alice had looked through the mail slot on the door and saw how the mail was scattered all over the floor, she immediately feared the worst. She screamed at the door telling Tina that Tasha was calling the police and they were going to break the door down. Just as Tasha came from around back and shrugged her shoulders telling Alice that she had no luck either, Tina appeared behind the front door.