“I don’t know,” I admitted. She remained quiet even after I’d fallen into an extended silence, trying to figure out what to do about this unexpected speed bump that arose, all of a sudden, in the otherwise smooth conversation ride we were taking.

I said quietly, “I just know I’d like to kiss you whenever I can’t fight the urge to any longer. The more I get to know you, the harder it is to be around you and think of other things than …”

“Aerin …” she finally broke in.

“But at the same time, I do want this to work,” I said earnestly. “Seriously, I need it to work.”

“I do, too,” she told me softly as I drew a shaky breath.

“I guess we can both figure out what to do when we cross that particular bridge, huh?” she asked after another extended pause.

I knew, without her saying anything else, that she was committed now, to follow the lead I’d set for us. There were landmines all around for her, I sensed intuitively, and for me, too, given my history. Not to mention the landmines around us, as a couple.

But that kiss had been magical. And the whole evening before it had been life-altering. In that kiss we’d shared what the evening had been building towards: the universe telling us that whatever it was between us could be for keeps. Forever.

As I’d driven off, while looking at her through the rear-view mirror, feeling for my lips on her lips with her fingertips, I’d guessed that she’d felt a sense of the infinite, too, although heaven only knew what I had to offer her. She was such a special, beautiful person, inside and out. Whatever wisdom the universe held for us and had imparted to her, in her kiss I felt her accept it, and intuitively knew she’d made me a promise. To me. Me. Aerin Palmer. Felt her promise that she would do what was necessary to be deserving of this “thing,” whatever it was. With me. Can you believe it, mom, dad?

I’d lain awake in bed even though I’d felt exhausted. Despite thinking to myself I’d have to take care of being turned-on unconscionably by Harley when she’d seduce me with that dance once I returned to my hotel room, I resisted seeking comfort in the vibrator. Instead, I’d imagined talking to Chris, my parents, and everyone I’d lost.