”Anything you could say right now I don’t want to hear Rose.” And with that she moved to shut the door but without thinking I softly held out my hand and stopped her from closing it.

”If I don’t say anything now then I might not find the right words later.” She loosed up her hold on the door and I dropped my hand. ”I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through that and it wasn’t right. I’m so sorry and I never should have been with you until I was over Vanessa and you are one of the sweetest girls I have ever met and I had no intentions of hurting you but right now I have no idea what I want and I don’t even know if you want to see me ever again but right now I just want us to be friends if you can find it in your heart to forgive me because you are such a good person and I would hate to lose that because of all of this.”

Claire stared at me the longest and my heart was clenched when I saw more tears run down her sweet face.

”I need some time to think about this. You literally broke my heart Rose and I dont know what to feel. It’s hard to look at you right now, I’m sorry.”

With that she turned and shut the door behind her and I cried once more. She had been a light when everything had turned dark and I had no idea if I had just lost that. I grabbed my phone and texted Vanessa and asked her to meet me at the park and within a few moments I only had a short ”ok” response as my feet carried me to the park.

She wasn’t there when I got there so I laid on top of that dirty merry go round and spun myself around with my foot and watched as the clouds swirled around me.

That was life wasnt it, the world kept spinning even if your life felt like the time had stopped and the moment was frozen and all you felt was confusion.

I felt myself starting to slow down and a ray of long straight hair came to my view. As I set up I came to face the girl who had left me with a hurricane of emotions.

”Hi.” She said as I stared at her, realizing now how much I had missed the sound of her voice over these past few months.

”Hey.” My reply sounded fast like I was nervous. ”Are you okay?”

Vanessa nodded and sat beside me with her hands in her lap. She looked nervous as well.

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it and I sat there patiently waiting and after a minuet her voice reached my ears. ”I didn’t mean to mess up your relationship with Claire. I didn’t even think if yall were together or not but I should have knew that you were.”

I cut her off, ”I kissed you first remember? I don’t really know what came over me but I had to. I had worried and missed you ever since your mom had said we couldn’t see each other any more. When your dad came looking for you after you had ran away, my heart was torn on a different level and I never could get you out of my head. I wondered if you were hungry or where you were sleeping. You should have called me Vanessa.”

She grabbed my hand and whispered she was sorry and nothing else was spoken between us. We sat there just feeling each others presence while I wondered what was running through her head. Would it boil down to having to choose between Vanessa and Claire?

I had no idea what I was going to do but I wanted both of them in my life, just in different ways and I knew that I had a choice to make, I just didn’t know when I was going to have to make it.

I squeezed her hand and glanced at her and gave her a small tiny smile. ”I’m glad you’re back home.” And with that she smiled too.

I didn’t know what was going to happen next but I had to believe that everything would be okay like my dad had said. While Clair had been my sun, Vanessa had been my stars.