“what do I need to do to make this better?” I asked her and she didn’t say anything “…look we traded the band the girl is in and she’s gone…we took a smaller band to put them in the…”

“…spotlight…” she said finishing my sentence “…you’d think I know our motto by now…” she added

“yeah, but that’s a start right?”

“no Ashley…it’s a step back…you get these smaller bands and then you become so involved with their music that you are never home…if you do come home it’s always at midnight because of late dinner meetings and everything…” she told me “…earlier with that phone call…”

“Spencer I had no idea you would be coming over the house…” I told her “…I had that call scheduled way before and…”

“so I need to schedule things with you now? If I want time with my wife I need to call ahead? Are you kidding me Ashley…just listen to yourself and realize what you’re saying I mean a families time with an essential part should just be there…it shouldn’t be planned…”

“that’s not what I meant…” I told her

“…look I’d try and get you come home, but I don’t know if I want you here, I don’t know if the girls want you here and I really don’t see the point when you’ll just be working all the time…” she said

“I wont be working all the time” I pleaded “I promise”

“don’t make promises you cant keep…” she said “…it’s late…” she said changing the subject “…you can say goodnight to the girls, but then you should probably go”

“Spencer…”

“don’t Ashley…” she said then I just looked at her and then I turned around and left, then I went into Erin’s room and she was doing homework on her bed

“Erin I’m sorry…” I told her

“you know…I used to think that meant something…when people say ‘I’m sorry’ but now I really don’t see the point when people never mean it…” she told me

“I get that I’m not the…”

“…person I used to look up to?” she asked me “…do you realize how awesome it felt to have Ashley Davies be my mom? I mean seeing my moms picture in all my friends rooms and stuff…that was awesome and I used to always tell them I’d be just like her…but now I realize how much I don’t want to be like you…” she said “…I get that you don’t want to hear this, but I just don’t get it mom…” she added “…why didn’t you walk away? Why didn’t you turn around and leave that stupid girl there…and come home to mom…I mean what hurts the most was knowing every lyric to every song you wrote was about her…and now they’re lies?”

“Erin…what I wrote was not a lie…”

“I know…you always taught me that music is one thing that can never be altered because every song has that one meaning and reason…that’s what I don’t understand…”

“I didn’t think you ever listened to what I told you…”

“of course I did mom…” she told me “…look, I don’t want you and mom to get a divorce because I don’t think Keira and I could deal…I just want us to be a family again, and I know it’s going to take time and it’s going to suck…I just…I just wish you’d fight for us…” she begged me “…I need you to please fight mom…” she said starting to cry then I went over and gave her a hug and she latched onto me

“I know you don’t think it means anything but I am so sorry Erin…I’m sorry for not being the one you looked up to…I’m sorry for turning my back on you guys and you need to understand that your mom is the only one that I have ever loved, I know I made a mistake and it wasn’t something to be ignored…but I am going to fight for your mom okay? I just need you and Keira to stick with me please…”

“we’ll always love you mom…” she said “…I just wish you’d come home soon”

“I’m going to try E…I’m really going to try…” I told her

To.Be.Continued.

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