But, she knew she hadn't given him everything. She just didn't know that he would notice or care that she had held back her heart. Funny, she thought nothing of giving her body over to him 'isn't that really the most important thing to most men?'  she reasoned. Well, apparently not, because Michael had come to call for the rest — the last piece of Simone, even if he didn't realize that he had.  'He's asking for everything now, all of me…. does he realize that?' she wondered.

Thinking that he did not know. Thinking that he saw this only in terms of physical living arrangements. Practical. Sensible. No big deal.  She on the other hand saw it as a move that would require her to declare to the world that she was his completely. Because who would move in with someone if they didn't really love and want to be with that person? Making a commitment like that, at least for Simone, required love.  The kind of love that was rooted in a deep and passionate connection. So in this scenario, with Michael, it was impractical, irrational and a very big deal. A deal in fact that she could not close.

She felt that Michael was operating on a transactional level — in a highly rational and very male way, he was thinking logistically. Sequentially even, as in his mind they had reached a point in their relationship where it was time to take the next step.  'Doesn't he understand the significance of what he's asking…  can't he see what that would mean for me?'  Sometimes she felt as though Michael was oblivious to her feelings.  'He just doesn't get it… it's so frustrating for me to try and communicate how I feel to him…  I wish he understood me better… he would get it completely if only he was a ……. a woman.'  And there it was.  'Did he hear that… how could he not?'  she thought as she looked at him wondering if he felt the same startled jolt at the loud thud that had just wracked her thoughts.

Regarding him carefully she realized that he still had his head down trying to choose an entre'. Glancing cautiously around, she noticed that no one at the neighboring tables seemed to have heard it either. Realizing that she alone had heard and felt something just as she had an epiphany, Simone just sat there trying to get her mind around what had just happened. Pondering it, she came to the knowledge that her brain had registered a truth so significant and so deeply recessed, that it was as if the dawning of it was accompanied by an actual sound as it rocketed to the forefront of her conscious mind and landed hard enough to shake her into accepting it.