I don’t have much time to write this, because guess what? Spencer is sleeping over! I’m really estatic, because I haven’t spent the night with a friend, and i love calling her my friend, by the way, since a long time before the incident. Those other girls were never my friends. And i’m one-hundred percent positive that Spence isn’t like that.

That’s right, i get to call her ‘Spence’. I on accident called her it earlier today, and she smiled, saying no one had ever called her that before, but that it sounded very best-friendish. So, i stuck with it, because I enjoy knowing that she likes to think I could be her best friend. She also calls me Ash, which Aiden had done before, but it just sounds so much better from her mouth. No offense, Aiden. It seems to roll off the tip of her tounge, and a shiver is sent up my spine everytime she says my new nickname.

Earlier today, we watched Blue Crush, and other movies. I don’t know if this is true, but i have a hunch that maybe Spencer’s gay? God, I wish she was. All I could think about was how good it would feel to hold her close to me, to wrap my arms around her waist as we watched the films together.

She kept stealing secret glances at me, and I pretended to not notice, not wanting to make the day awkward. But, I did notice them. She, also, kept brushing against my arm, or touching my hand on ‘accident’. But, it was kept in place for longer than normal. That is what provoked my hunch.

Diary, I know it may seem like Spencer is really important to me, and she is,  

but you’ll always be my best friend.

September 26, 2005.

Dear Diary:

Spencer just left the house, and it’s currently 2:13 PM. She would’ve stayed longer, but she informed me that she had missed church, and her mother would probably be pretty mad. I assured her it was okay, and she smiled, pulling me into a warm hug as she left.

It took everything in me not to lean in and kiss her.

I guess that’s just something that still lingers from the old Davies girl. I need my boldness back, but not the stubbornness. The arrogant Ashley is still here, too. I like it, though, and Spencer says it’s cute. So i’m keeping it, no matter what. My eating habit’s have developed almost back to normal. I think that’s also trying to impress Spencer, because i’ll eat a full meal so she wont be worried, and lately, she’s been having lunch with me and Aiden everyday! It’s the best thing ever.

She’ll sit down. "Hey guys!" She always gives me and Aid hugs. Him first, but mine’s always longer, and she sits next to me, very very close usually.

"Hey chick!" I’ll reply grabbing a chicken nugget or small partion of food off of her tray. She bats my hand away playfully.

"Sup."Aiden greets her, ‘cooly’ (or at least HE thinks its cool).

"Not much, how was you guys’ day?" She always is so kind, so interested in everything, and if she isnt, she does a good job of pretending.

"Ugh, today is ‘Bash the Homo’ day, I guess." I sigh, propping my head in my hands, my eblows against the picnic table.

She frowns, "You know, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, Ash. Don’t listen to them."

I smile. "I know. Besides, they’re all just jealous because they wont ever have me as a smoking HOT girlfriend." There’s that narcisisstic side that she thinks is cute. Then we go through lunch eating and discussing small talk. Nothing out of the ordinary, but since she’s there, its special, to me.

Well Diary, I think I’m done rambling. You’ve always listened to me rambling, so thank you. You’re still my best friend.