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17 Reasons Why! Not – Bette Porter L Word
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The more grass I smoke in the enclosed space of this chilly cargo van the more I wonder why I go along on these descents into Hell with them? Loyalty is my only clue.
I put the joint out and try to imagine what’s going on inside Bette’s mind as we sit together sharing sugary snack cakes outside of Big Buddy’s.
I don’t think she’s really thought her ”Hail Mary” thing with Jodie all the way through. If she had surely she would’ve flown ahead in her mind, as I have, and imagined the holidays with all of us ahead. Does Bette actually think she sees a day in the future when Jodie and Tom, and Tina and whoever she eventually ends up with sitting together around a holiday table for dinner?
Because I’ve imagined it! And in my mind there’s nothing about that Christmas dinner that seems festive to me. I want what Carmen’s family had in spades – something noisy and full of happy commotion. But the pictures in my mind of the holidays looming on the horizon of my future, strained by Bette and Tina’s tension, makes me want to follow all the Jews to the movie theater on Christmas Day instead.
And that kinda hurts me, and I see a mounting, growing list of inescapable problems ahead.
Maybe more than anybody I’ve watched Bette since it all came apart years ago. Living next door to her I probably ”see” her more than anybody, and I’ve watched how her mind’s begun to eat itself alive the longer she lives alone.
And Tina used to take care of all that, and now Jodie really doesn’t.
And I like Jodie, I do. But she lives practicing broad jumps from place to place, and from what I’ve gathered so far – she’s had no bad falls. But deep down inside herself I don’t think Bette really trusts her. And the other really fucked up thing? The one that’s propelled us three thousand miles, and up into these pretty mountains and countryside, is Tina’s own fucking fault.
Tina, who’s now officially single, but possibly dating has her own unique hang ups. For awhile she fussed over keeping sprigs of grass alive in her apartment so she could squeeze them with a mashing pressing thing whenever she wanted into a dark green colored juice. So, I’ve seen her weirdness and how she gets way dug in, and is too intractable and especially stupid about ”Bette” things.
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You’re a very insightful writer. You absolutely nail their quirks and personalities.I love narration so I appreciated this style. They all reveal how this grand gesture is a fucked up stupid idea. Alice is funny, sarcastic and she and Shane have more common sense in their pinkie fingers than Bette has in her glorious entire body. At least Shane knows that in her quest for family, she made a huge mistake by proposing to Carmen. They are all hoping against hope. Haven’t we all made some huge mistake hoping and wishing that everything will turn out on our side? Even when the odds are not nearly in our favor. We foolishly think that IF everything goes just right and as planned then our wild ass scheme will work. Why do humans do this? Bette can’t accept failure and if she fails in getting Jodie back then it means she is a loser. That’s why the grand gesture, something so over the top that Jodie will have to notice and forgive her. Shouldn’t Bette be enough for Jodie?
I can tell that much effort and thought goes into your writing. The characters are nuanced but their core traits are perfectly exposed in your storytelling. Each chapter’s excellence surpasses the previous one.
This was one scene in the show that really annoyed by me! You Balcbird perfectly gave the answer as to why.
Why need to grand gestures of people who love really each other?
and perfectly true: Bette and Jodie never was a common fund. This scene perfectly presented Bette’s insecurities that have to get her back Jodie is because if not, she is experiencing at this as a failure, she has another relationship with run aground.
I really like Shane wisdom of exactly see Bette uncertainty and fears.
I know that Jodie doesn’t may be written out, but I liked Bette dilemma that maybe she should not go to :)
thanks for posting.
and looking forward to the next chapter. :)
I really enjoyed this. You have given a different treatment for this chapter. Getting Alice and Shane’s POVs have been helpful to make sense of the dysfuntional relationship that Bette and Tina have. Bette seems compelled to satisfy the aching need to fill in the hole where Tina had been and an overwhelming sense of sadness at the thought of being with someone else. Jodie and Bette’s relationship was too much hard work and she was trying to change Bette into something she was not. Bette may be scared to walk away from this relationship because that would mean she would be alone again. But it is the only possibility of being with someone who loves her for who she is.
Love, love, love it! ……And absolute, absolute love this!..
“I’m going to recommend that Tina and Bette take Italian lessons and read poetry to each other. Maybe then they’ll understand their feelings for one another. And if Jodie loves Bette and vice versa then please, for the love of God, find some common ground and give us all a break. I mean, really? Lisa the Lesbian had more self awareness than these three put together. And that is not a compliment.”…
Got tears in my eyes for laughing. :D
Was happy to see your story again. Great job.
I think you really capture the”inner voice” of Shane and Alice and especially Bette. That particular scene could have been written so much better showing Bette’s angst in the TV show. Thanks for tackling it and rewriting it in a more thoughtful and comical way. I am a big fan of your style and wit. Thank you. I couldn’t agree more with Shane and Alice—Tina and Bette are really messed up.
I love your writing.PPS
Hi Blackbird… i finally am getting caught up reading with your story…it has been a busy memorial weekend for me..and just got settle in and getting caught up.. i love this story… you have a way to get your readers like me to laugh cuz it goes to the depth of the emotions you detailed in your story. i remember the show about this and it cracked me up alice, bette , and shane in new york getting that huge sign off the roof for Jodie. hilarious …keep writing.. sorry it took me a while but i am catching up. keep up the good work my friend!!! can’t wait for the next one :-)