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17 Reasons Why! Not – Bette Porter L Word
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She starts the van and checks her mirrors to see behind us. I wonder as I see her reflection: Do any of the women around me – who seem to get their eye shadow on right – actually ever really look at themselves while staring into mirrors? I mean really look and not turn away? Because one night I did for hours when I was high on Dilaudid and cocaine. That mirror shit was freaky and I quit doing drugs for awhile after that. I get the avoidance of it. But as we back up, and the huge metal sign behind me in the van’s cargo bay begins to rattle, Bette flashes me a cheery look, also filled with trepidation look that I read as: For better or worse here we go.
Alice holds up her iPhone with GPS. ”Looks like we’ll be there in twenty minutes, maybe less.”
Route 28 – Bette
Twenty minutes later –
As the chilly air rushes in from the window I sense Alice fidgeting in the seat next to me, and whatever Shane’s last thought was has left her with a ragged sigh, and the need to go prone on the long seat behind me.
I think about turning back. I could pull into the farm road I see ahead and turn us all around by that lonesome looking silo then, driving straight back southeast we could be back in the city by six. New York is fun at night.
It’s fun anytime as long as you’ve got money you don’t mind literally disappearing from your hands every minute you’re there. Everything, everything, everything costs and the tab for this scheme of mine to get back Jodie is going to run me every bit of five thousand dollars and probably then some.
Transporting the sign alone was nearly three! But I pulled the pin on this and I’m going to fall on it as it drops, or explodes, and if it blows me into a million bits then, I’ll drown my sorrows tonight in a bar in Manhattan.
There’s no grey for me anymore and even if there were? I’ve been told I probably wouldn’t see it. And her with not so much as a, ’Fuck you!’ leaving me like that. Then, I knew better, but I kept reaching for my phone to call her and then I’d remember: Jodie can’t hear, so that won’t work.
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You’re a very insightful writer. You absolutely nail their quirks and personalities.I love narration so I appreciated this style. They all reveal how this grand gesture is a fucked up stupid idea. Alice is funny, sarcastic and she and Shane have more common sense in their pinkie fingers than Bette has in her glorious entire body. At least Shane knows that in her quest for family, she made a huge mistake by proposing to Carmen. They are all hoping against hope. Haven’t we all made some huge mistake hoping and wishing that everything will turn out on our side? Even when the odds are not nearly in our favor. We foolishly think that IF everything goes just right and as planned then our wild ass scheme will work. Why do humans do this? Bette can’t accept failure and if she fails in getting Jodie back then it means she is a loser. That’s why the grand gesture, something so over the top that Jodie will have to notice and forgive her. Shouldn’t Bette be enough for Jodie?
I can tell that much effort and thought goes into your writing. The characters are nuanced but their core traits are perfectly exposed in your storytelling. Each chapter’s excellence surpasses the previous one.
This was one scene in the show that really annoyed by me! You Balcbird perfectly gave the answer as to why.
Why need to grand gestures of people who love really each other?
and perfectly true: Bette and Jodie never was a common fund. This scene perfectly presented Bette’s insecurities that have to get her back Jodie is because if not, she is experiencing at this as a failure, she has another relationship with run aground.
I really like Shane wisdom of exactly see Bette uncertainty and fears.
I know that Jodie doesn’t may be written out, but I liked Bette dilemma that maybe she should not go to :)
thanks for posting.
and looking forward to the next chapter. :)
I really enjoyed this. You have given a different treatment for this chapter. Getting Alice and Shane’s POVs have been helpful to make sense of the dysfuntional relationship that Bette and Tina have. Bette seems compelled to satisfy the aching need to fill in the hole where Tina had been and an overwhelming sense of sadness at the thought of being with someone else. Jodie and Bette’s relationship was too much hard work and she was trying to change Bette into something she was not. Bette may be scared to walk away from this relationship because that would mean she would be alone again. But it is the only possibility of being with someone who loves her for who she is.
Love, love, love it! ……And absolute, absolute love this!..
“I’m going to recommend that Tina and Bette take Italian lessons and read poetry to each other. Maybe then they’ll understand their feelings for one another. And if Jodie loves Bette and vice versa then please, for the love of God, find some common ground and give us all a break. I mean, really? Lisa the Lesbian had more self awareness than these three put together. And that is not a compliment.”…
Got tears in my eyes for laughing. :D
Was happy to see your story again. Great job.
I think you really capture the”inner voice” of Shane and Alice and especially Bette. That particular scene could have been written so much better showing Bette’s angst in the TV show. Thanks for tackling it and rewriting it in a more thoughtful and comical way. I am a big fan of your style and wit. Thank you. I couldn’t agree more with Shane and Alice—Tina and Bette are really messed up.
I love your writing.PPS
Hi Blackbird… i finally am getting caught up reading with your story…it has been a busy memorial weekend for me..and just got settle in and getting caught up.. i love this story… you have a way to get your readers like me to laugh cuz it goes to the depth of the emotions you detailed in your story. i remember the show about this and it cracked me up alice, bette , and shane in new york getting that huge sign off the roof for Jodie. hilarious …keep writing.. sorry it took me a while but i am catching up. keep up the good work my friend!!! can’t wait for the next one :-)