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17 Reasons Why! Not – Bette Porter L Word
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Every fucking miserable detail of my ridiculous wreck of a love life I’d first have to say to Tom, and then hear him repeat it all over again to her. It was bad enough hearing myself say it, much less his tone of voice interpreting me. So, imagining that ridiculous make up assisted scenario really just pissed me off even more. What choice did I have but to tell Jodie face to face? And with a five thousand dollar to be screwed together steel and aluminum gesture that I hope to God doesn’t fall flat?
Pushing up into my thoughts is my share of a sizable private preschool enrollment expense that comes up pretty soon. Oh my God, my credit cards! Christ! They’ll be the ruin of me.
I pull into a gravel road when Alice says, ”Turn right here.”
”Wait! Go left. Didn’t you see me pointing left?” Alice snaps her hand toward me.
”I saw you waving your hand around, Alice, but you were saying turn right, so I did.” I sigh and stare up at the greying winter sky above the grain silo, and roll the window down.
Shane asks from the back. ”Do you mind if I get out and stretch for a minute before you meet your fate in the field over there?”
”Oh, and I want to take a picture of this silo, too.” Alice opens her door and walks the short distance to the grey stones towering above us.
”Isn’t that Jodie way over there across the road in that field?” Shane points as she puts her hand above her eyes to shield the winter glare.
”Hey, guys! Look what I found. There’s a shed with a nice little tractor and trailer back here.” I hear Alice’s voice from behind the silo. ”Bette, instead of you bumping up in a van with us smelling like beer and reefer and your grand gesture, ’17 Reasons Why!’ sign trussed up like a hostage in the back – I mean if you really want to make your point – we should assemble the thing together. Then, you drive it over there and see what happens.” Alice ends with emphasis and crosses her arms in what looks like a dare. ”And Shane and I will wait here.”
I put my binoculars up to my eyes and slowly draw Jodie into focus as she walks with a group of men all dressed for high grasses and muddy terrain. I watch as Jodie looks towards the pasture’s boundary and treeline, and then up and over across the road toward the silo and me. She points up to the sky above the towering silo, and then down again. I can tell she’s thinking about something she’s not quite seeing yet, only imagining.
I shift my weight and wonder what to do. Steal the tractor to take the stolen sign? See if she’ll make up with me and kiss my blistering, fucked up lips?
Or not?
Jodie shifts in the frame of my field glasses. I follow her slowly across far hillside when she stops and does something that seems like a signal even though she hasn’t seen me.
Is it a sign to come over there? I press the binoculars together and give myself one single field of telescopic vision and watch Jodie as she lifts her hands to frame exactly where I’m standing on a hillside a thousand feet away. Her fingers squarely and exactly surround us. She looks through the box and I see it all very clearly.
I must go through this imaginary window between us because I must see what’s on the other side.
_______________
The next chapter is titled, ”The Weather Report.” Alice senses earthquake weather, and that anything could happen in this unusual environment when she witnesses a confrontation between Tina, Bette, Dawn Denbo and My Girlfriend Cindy.
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You’re a very insightful writer. You absolutely nail their quirks and personalities.I love narration so I appreciated this style. They all reveal how this grand gesture is a fucked up stupid idea. Alice is funny, sarcastic and she and Shane have more common sense in their pinkie fingers than Bette has in her glorious entire body. At least Shane knows that in her quest for family, she made a huge mistake by proposing to Carmen. They are all hoping against hope. Haven’t we all made some huge mistake hoping and wishing that everything will turn out on our side? Even when the odds are not nearly in our favor. We foolishly think that IF everything goes just right and as planned then our wild ass scheme will work. Why do humans do this? Bette can’t accept failure and if she fails in getting Jodie back then it means she is a loser. That’s why the grand gesture, something so over the top that Jodie will have to notice and forgive her. Shouldn’t Bette be enough for Jodie?
I can tell that much effort and thought goes into your writing. The characters are nuanced but their core traits are perfectly exposed in your storytelling. Each chapter’s excellence surpasses the previous one.
This was one scene in the show that really annoyed by me! You Balcbird perfectly gave the answer as to why.
Why need to grand gestures of people who love really each other?
and perfectly true: Bette and Jodie never was a common fund. This scene perfectly presented Bette’s insecurities that have to get her back Jodie is because if not, she is experiencing at this as a failure, she has another relationship with run aground.
I really like Shane wisdom of exactly see Bette uncertainty and fears.
I know that Jodie doesn’t may be written out, but I liked Bette dilemma that maybe she should not go to :)
thanks for posting.
and looking forward to the next chapter. :)
I really enjoyed this. You have given a different treatment for this chapter. Getting Alice and Shane’s POVs have been helpful to make sense of the dysfuntional relationship that Bette and Tina have. Bette seems compelled to satisfy the aching need to fill in the hole where Tina had been and an overwhelming sense of sadness at the thought of being with someone else. Jodie and Bette’s relationship was too much hard work and she was trying to change Bette into something she was not. Bette may be scared to walk away from this relationship because that would mean she would be alone again. But it is the only possibility of being with someone who loves her for who she is.
Love, love, love it! ……And absolute, absolute love this!..
“I’m going to recommend that Tina and Bette take Italian lessons and read poetry to each other. Maybe then they’ll understand their feelings for one another. And if Jodie loves Bette and vice versa then please, for the love of God, find some common ground and give us all a break. I mean, really? Lisa the Lesbian had more self awareness than these three put together. And that is not a compliment.”…
Got tears in my eyes for laughing. :D
Was happy to see your story again. Great job.
I think you really capture the”inner voice” of Shane and Alice and especially Bette. That particular scene could have been written so much better showing Bette’s angst in the TV show. Thanks for tackling it and rewriting it in a more thoughtful and comical way. I am a big fan of your style and wit. Thank you. I couldn’t agree more with Shane and Alice—Tina and Bette are really messed up.
I love your writing.PPS
Hi Blackbird… i finally am getting caught up reading with your story…it has been a busy memorial weekend for me..and just got settle in and getting caught up.. i love this story… you have a way to get your readers like me to laugh cuz it goes to the depth of the emotions you detailed in your story. i remember the show about this and it cracked me up alice, bette , and shane in new york getting that huge sign off the roof for Jodie. hilarious …keep writing.. sorry it took me a while but i am catching up. keep up the good work my friend!!! can’t wait for the next one :-)