I walk into the gift shop at the hospital and look around. I see a flower that sings and moves to You Are My Sunshine. It’s a little corny, but it made me smile. I haven’t smiled for the last five days since my best friend, my ex lover Dana has been in the hospital. I thought this would be a cute gift for Dana and sit it next to her bed. I decide to buy while I’m walking around. I didn’t want to leave Dana’s side because I didn’t want her to be alone, but the nurse insisted that I get up and walk around.  After buying the corny toy, I went outside for a while. I take a seat and felt the fresh air hit my face. I guess I needed to get out of that stuffy room for awhile, but I hope Dana’s all right. I stare at the ground as people walk around me. I sigh heavily and chew on my bottom lip. I hear a familiar voice and look up. It’s Tonya. What in the hell is she doing at the hospital? She didn’t look like she was dying, but she has to have a reason why she’s here.

          Our conversation was short, and we said our goodbyes. I didn’t want to tell her that Dana was in the hospital dying of cancer. She told me that she was jealous of Dana’s and I friendship, and she regrets leaving Dana. That was her mistake, and now, she’ll have to live with it. I can’t wait to tell Dana that Tonya is actually thinking about having a baby. I think I spent enough time outside, and it’s time to watch over my best friend.

          Why do they keep saying they’re losing me? They can’t lose me. I’m Dana Fairbanks—the lesbian tennis player. I was healthy, what did I do wrong? Why did my body turn for the worse? Is God punishing me for the way I’m living my life? Why isn’t there anyone at my side telling me that everything’s going to be okay? I want to cry, but I don’t have the strength to let that happen. I’m beginning to see everything I’ve done in life becoming more and more vivid. Is this it for me? I feel myself slipping more and more away from my body. I’m trying to fight this, but nothing. Everything around me begins to fade out slowly.  Is this really it? God is this really my time? I haven’t told my family that I loved them. My friends don’t even know that I’m actually lying here on this bed dying. I’m dying alone. I’m dying alone. I’m dying. I’m dying. I’m…dy…ing…