But Bette tried to and couldn’t. She couldn’t just move on. She couldn’t just forget Tina. She thought of the things that DID pull them together. Bette’s need for dominance
was tempered by Tina’s cutting and subtle control, she directed Bette so Bette didn’t even know. They meshed well, got along when the other ***** was forgotten. They admired
each other’s talents, fed off each other’s inteligence. The things that held them together was just not cultivated enough because of time. It was all such a whirlwind that, well….there
was no time to just get to know each other. Bette figured maybe if they were friends for longer, or became friends before being sexual…they could build upon that. The friendship
stuff. And Bette could be very kind. Tina said so…once late at night, Tina commented that Bette had a very kind and gentle soul…but she was like concrete on the outside. She
had told Bette she could sense the hardness, from whatever…around Bette’s exterior, like walls and wire and knives..but deep inside Bette was a marshmellow. Tina had kissed
her neck whispering..”I think finding that softness is the key to your happiness” Bette herself found it overwhelming trying to find that, and often..like now…gave up.

 They were so meant to be together. Their qualities were perfect…their flaws though were mammoth and big and Bette didn’t want to think about it. She lost inerest in
physical things. Lost interest in looking at other people. She had so many regrets, her life was *****, her father almost disowned when he learned of the divorce and her sister
was…god knows where. Everything seemed to glitter on the outside but ont he inside, Bette was gasping for air under her own concrete protection. Bette knew that because of Tina’s
fault of passivity, or whatever one called it…that it was up to her. Bette wanted to…it was so hard. Her pride screamed NOOOOOOOOOO….but that little voice in the back of her
head said…”now..or never” Bette didn’t want it to be never.

 Tina’s house was looking pretty good, on the outside. Bette stood by the gate admiring the garden. She opened it, walked down the path. People had moved in to her
old house. Bette didn’t even want to look at it. She was nervous. It had been exactly two months since Bette moved out, and exactly three months since she had seen Tina. Bette
was skinnier, more viscious-looking, beautiful still…but leaner meaner and smarter. But not in love, Bette sucked at that. But she wanted to at least say what she wanted to say to
Tina and not to herself, muttering at night at what could have been. Bette just wanted to say what was in her heart, to Tina…then if Tina didn’t want her back then Bette could
leave knowing she did not lie about wha she truly felt. Bette held her breath…knocked. A man answered, that same man…Bette asked for Tina. He left to get her. Bette closed
her eyes, she probably had no chance since Tina looked like she was moving on. But her pride told her to go down with her head up. She saw her hand, that pale arm, and now
her….Tina. She looked stunned to se Bette there, at first astoundment…then Bette saw a hint of a smile and joy in those beautiful eyes and then as if in metamorphisis.. a hardening.
A really hard hardening of the mouth and eyes and face. Bette swallowed, her eyes almost teared but she didn’t let it happened. Bette knew that for all her ex-husband’s faults and
Tina faults…it was HER fault, Bette’s fault for all this ***** happening. It was all her fault.

“Tina?”

TBC