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A Dsicourse on Desire…Chapter 36
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“How are things going for you these days, you told Tina your reason…she accepted, in your mind is their anything else…goals?”
“Umm…like everything what do you think?”
“What are those things Bette?”
“Well for one, no nightmares but that’s not happening any soon…and maybe for my family to actually give a fucking shit”
“Have you not heard from your father or sister?”
“My sister still hasn’t come, I don’t know where she is…I got a phone call but it traced back to
“And your father”
Bette felt her chest tighten up. “No, a few phone calls….but after I said I was ok he stayed in
“What if you said you were not ok?”
“Then he probably would have come to visit, for a day or so…there’s not much he could do”
“Do you not want him to visit?”
“No”
“Why?”
“Because…because it will be like I failed him, the ultimate failure. He raised with me to respect the mind and mine is kind of all over the place, I mean it isn’t…but it’s hard to control certain thoughts and those thoughts start to control behavior, like leaving the lights on or not talking or sneaking an extra bottle of wine”
“Do you fell that you’re developing any dependencies?”
“A little alcohol, to take the edge off…it soothes my mind and helps me to relax; I couldn’t relax if my father was here”
“Why do you think this is?”
“Because….because of what…no, nothing”
“Because of what Bette?”
‘
“Nothing dammit, for fuck’s sake…I hate all this bullshit, I hate coming here…and it all seems too big to handle…what the fuck do I have to do!”
“It’s hard in the beg-”
“shut up about the beginning crap, I know all that shit….it all comes down to paranoia if you really want to know….im paranoid 24/7, all the fucking time…everything stems from paranoia, of this of that blah bah….things are good with Tina, well better than before. I don’t walk around like a crazy person but my head hurts with the paranoid shit coming though, im afraid of this of that of myself. I work, I went back to work…im fine there, it’s a distraction…but as soon as I get undistracted I get paranoid”
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Cass,After all th therapy shit it was good to have Tina and Bette reconnect.
Glad they have a lovely time together!
Never been to a Therapist,didnt say I didnt need to go.so to vent ny angry on one who be terrible but they do get paid for it Bette is in a better mood. thanks
nice bette
nice chapter but I think B needs to vent to T a litte…..please post soon
That was really lovely for both of them…
This is a very good chapter, keep going. I can relate to exploding at a therapist, I’ve done it many times!
Now I remember why I never seriously considered becoming a therapist. I couldn’t deal with someone dumping all their shit on me. I’d end up kicking them out of my office. lol At least Bette is making progress.