“And your father and that day are involved in this paranoia”

“What?”

“From what im hearing your father-”

“Shut up about him, im outta here”

            Bette knew she was the b biggest prick on the planet. Each week, she turned her therapy session into this. She vented out on her therapist, all the pent-up anger she had been feeling over the week. Bette saw her once a week, and always subjected her to verbal abuse…her therapist seemed to know the reason and only remained calm throughout. Bette would have kissed her feet if her pride would let her. But she left again, and felt the sting of guilt as always. But the therapist had really made her angry about the whole father thing. Bette could have not been so abusive, but she felt good getting all the pressure out. About her father…Bette loved him, saw him twice a year, called him…but had something hidden deep inside her that even she couldn’t think about. So she didn’t. And she wasn’t a goddamn alcoholic. Therapists make things seem so terrible. Bette drove herself home, yay…haha…she graduated from being driven from therapy to driving herself.

            Bette saw that Tina was already home. She was at the table looking over tax shit. Crap Bette thought, the tax season was here. She said hello and sat down, Tina smiled at her and went back to the tax sheets. Bette wanted to do something nice for Tina, she wanted to relax this evening….just relax. Bette got up and went to the shed, piled some wood up and put it in the fire place, she took her lighter and lighted it…stoked it with the metal fire poker and closed the little door. The flames went higher, producing nice soothing warm air. Bette turned down the thermometer heat a bit, and then went into the kitchen, making hot chocolate. It was still the rainy season and even though the blue skies came out, it was still chilly. Today was a good day; Bette managed to at least leave her troubles in the therapy room. Wow firs time, Bette mentally patted herself on the back. Work was going well for a change, Tina was better…therapy was still a bitch but hey…at least she got her frustration out. There were a ton of issues raised in today’s session…but Bette didn’t’t want to think about it all tonight. She was tired, tired of it all. Her problems were shit compared to others. Like her sister. Kit was strung-out junkie; so many times…so many times she would d promise to get clean. To no end. Bette gave up hope on her; her door was always open to Kit. But her heart was beginning to close. Her heart felt chilly sometimes to herself too…but she pushed the thoughts away while stirring the hot chocolate. She went into the living room and placed the mugs on the table. She smiled; it was like their first date…the starting over one. They had snuggled on the fireplace, well they would again. She walked over to the kitchen, put her arms on Tina’s shoulders, massaging. Tina moaned, leaned her neck back. “Fuck I hate tax season”. Bette laughed, and leaned down, kissing Tina’s ear…”Why don’t you come by the fireplace, there’s a blanket and hot chocolate waiting for you”. It was the first real act of unselfish kindness Bette made in a while. The days after her ‘confession’ of the reasons she tried to off herself, they had not been really affectionate. More afraid. Tina was quiet…Bette almost regretted telling…then things became normal, but each was bit afraid to touch the other. Now Bette vented out on the therapist and felt like she could be normal for the evening, the day went well. It was a good day. Tina turned around, got up. They went to the fireplace, snuggling beneath the blanket and sipping the hot chocolate. Gazing into the flames. They talked about their childhoods, Tina told of suburban barbeques, secrets, neighborhood yard sales…Bette told about the good stuff…the stories, the secret outings she would embark on in the middle of the night to parties. They sipped and soon Tina was leaning into Bette…Bette put down her cup. Caressed Tina’s cheek…and kissed the tip of T’s nose, her forehead…her lips. It went from there. Soon Tina was lying on top of Bette, their legs entwined…kissing as if it would save their lives, their sanity. Bette took off Tina’s shirt, was delighted she could still make Tina melt in her arms. The flames grew higher until the wood turned to ash and the coals simmered. When the fire was fully out Bette and Tina were long gone, spent and satisfied…sleeping in each others arms.

TBC