“When what?” Tina answered.

“When did you ask her out?” Bette replied still stroking Tina’s hand.

“I… why does it matter? The day of the black out I think… before the appointment…” she said. She felt Bette stop stroking her hand but still holding it.

“W…why, I mean we were working things out…talking I mean why would you want to add another complication?” Bette asked her voice sounded hurt.

‘Oh fuck this is not good’ Tina thought. “I don’t know, it was before we talked, I mean we were having an affair!” Tina heard her own voice rising towards the end but could do nothing to stop it. “You were with Jodie, you refuse to break up with her what was I suppose to think? I had to move on!”  She freed her hand from Bette’s and took a step back.

“Well what did you want to do? Date us both?” Bette asked, anger bubbling in her.

“Dating you both?? We were sleeping together and you were in a relationship! We were fucking having an affair, how do you think that it made me feel about myself??” Tina yelled on the verge of tears.

“T” Bette whispered, “I know it was difficult for both of us but I know that for me, after we made love I couldn’t let Jodie touch me.” Bette said her voice full of anger and hurt, “And you went and asked her out I just don’t get it.” She finished with a whisper, looking down at her hands.

“Really you want to tell me the you and Jodie weren’t intimate since I came over and we…?” Tina said with disbelieve.

“Well, I mean… there was that one time we were…” Bette took a deep breath, “we were in bed doing… you know and I wouldn’t let her touch me… I just…. Touched myself” the last part was so faint it was almost as if Bette just moved her lips, but by the shock look on Tina’s face, she caught it.

There sat there in silence, Bette looked at her fingers, studying them. Tina’s look softened “well, I didn’t know that, I didn’t know what you were thinking or feeling. I couldn’t just expect you to walk away from her I knew how much you loved her. What right did I have?” Tina said, a tear escaping. Bette stood up and went to her hugging her tight “you had, no you have every right in the world T. Every right in the world.” She said hugging her tight. “You’re everything, you and our beautiful little girl. Don’t you know it?” she said while comforting her, Bette’s hand drawing circles on her back. “Bette, I became everything that I hated, I became like the other woman. I’m not better then…” Tina said the tears slipping away now.