Leaning in on a cold November night. Feeling her smooth skin. Smelling the crispness of the air. Experiencing non climate controlled winter. My shooting star…and so I kissed her. Shy and loving it. Loving the control I had over her. Loving the feel of her. Taking it easy, not wanting to push it too far. Leaving her in the cold.

Singing some lost song, some long lost audio file.

My shooting star…..I know how you are…..

Sitting on a mountain. No shooting stars tonight. No sign of heaven anywhere in sight….

Some random moment. Maybe a year later. We where dating. Dinner at the mess hall. Talking things over with Hunter about heading out for more weapons. Helena comes over and kisses my cheek. I blush. The guys give me shit on the ride south into the towns. There was an old Marine base. We could stock up. That was the plan. Helena was for it but not for me coming along, I was too young. The guys all do that patented look away move as if to say well sorry kid but she’s the boss. Helena she pats my shoulder like stay little puppy. But I don’t. I get up get my gear and my guns and I head out to meet the convoy. This random moment is becoming less and less the more I think about it. Anyhow, Helena follows lecture in hand:

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I am going on the raid with the guys.”

“No you are not.”

“Yes I am.”

“Shane you are being stubborn and insubordinate.”

“And you are being clingy and motherly. I don’t need a mother.”

“You are far too young to go on a mission.”

“No, I am not. I am old enough to handle anything. I am not a kid. And I don’t appreciate being treated like one.”

“Shane what is this about?”

It was about the fact that we where together and she wouldn’t sleep with me. It was about feeling like I was gonna explode if she didn’t stop treating me like some kind of science project. It was about my need to have more than just tomatoes and target practice. It was about me proving myself.