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The Idea of Space
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Tina felt like her skin was on fire. Her cheeks flushed while her chest began to pound with a rapid heart threatening to induce anxiety. Everything she let herself believe was crashing down around her in an instant. And now listening to Bette and Angelica argue made it all the more evident that Carrie wasn’t seen as the person who Tina chose, but a weight that needed to be silently carried while hopes and dreams were dashed as a consequence.
“What does that even mean, mom… Make space? They are taking up every space!” As she watched the cars on the highway speed on, Tina cringed. She wondered if that was truly how Angelica felt, did she feel like the walls were closing in whenever they were around? Did she really feel like Tina was sucking the air out of the room like a vacuum?
What was spoken next jarred Tina to the point where her eyes grew wide with surprise.
“I know that’s what it feels like, but it’s not what it is,” Bette’s voice was firm, yet, so caring despite its severity. “You have to understand that what Tina needs and what she wants is for all of us to be happy, even you, she loves you more than anything… Absolutely anything… In this world – more than Carrie, more than me, she loves you… But she deserves to be in love with someone who she loves, you can’t begin to imagine what your mother has been through…”
Bette was… defending her? Defending her choice? She abhorred admitting that she didn’t see that coming. It made her think back on other times when, she felt, that she was made to look like the bad guy. And there they were, three parts of a whole unit, and she was miles away with only the capability of a fly on the wall listening.
“Then tell me.” The strength in Angie’s voice made her sound like her other mother. Those three words were a persistent request, even through the silence that followed. She could almost see Bette thinking and she wondered what the dark haired woman was going to say, how she was going to respond, what would she tell their daughter… And why the fuck wasn’t she there?
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I must say, this is not what I expected at all. I think that for a conversation in which neither Bette nor Angie are aware of Tina’s presence, that it is a remarkable conversation between Bette and Angie. My personal opinion is that Bette is taking too much of the responsibility for the problems of her relationship with Tina. But this is Bette’s point of view at the moment. And we do not know exactly what conversations occurred in the past between Bette and Tina in which this would be Bette’s conclusion as to what their history had been. It well written and very touching how much in love Bette is with Tina…
Personally, I was never of the opinion that Bette suggested, asked or pressured Tina to quit her job inorder to start a family. I have always been under the impression that was Tina’s decision. Bette then adjusted her life to accommodate that with a new job at CAC. But that is the premise of Bette’s reasoning and so for this story, I will accept for the purposes of this story.
Thanks for the chapter. Look forward to what Tina has to say once she arrives to join the conversation with Bette and Tina. Hope she has her phone charger so she can call Carrie and tell her she going to be late to San Francisco.
Agree with you Martha!
Hi Sloan,
I am sorry i didn’t comment on the first chapter, i didn’t know what to expect of this journey you are taking us.
I simply can’t handle anymore heartbreak about Tibette. With the trailers thrown our way it doesn’t look good for my favourite couple and i know it’s fiction but They captured my heart in the OG and i love them. What GQ has done to them has damaged my heart and i am so so mad and hurt.
Will you please give me a hint if this will have a positive Tibette ending? Because this story so far is amazing, great dialogue and a glimpse in Bette’s feelings and thoughts. But if it doesn’t have a Tibette ending i would like to know so that i can protect my heart.
I can absolutely relate, in part, to that. And yeah, I believe Bette and Tina are end game. So, this is going to be a Bette and Tina story that has a positive ending.
I actually started writing it because I was re-listening to the Pants Podcast with Kate and Leisha when they had Jennifer on as a guest, closer to the end when they brought up the gravity of Bette’s love for Tina, she really painted a picture about how Bette feels for the blond, which is Tina is, quite clearly, Bette’s be all, end all, one true love. So, if you ever have the chance, hearing her explain this and how she feels about these characters, is just really hopeful and uplifting. I believe one of the lines that really stuck with me was ‘For as long as Bette and Tina are alive, there’s always a chance that they’ll, perhaps, be together.’ It sort of refreshed my hope a little.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading, and for commenting. I appreciate. :)
Great news Sloan!!!
I try to keep hope but it’s difficult.
I can read your story with happiness now allthough this chapter had me in tears. You did a wonderful job with Bette explaining her side!
Hi Sloane! I have to admit I still haven’t read the story, I have kind of an issue with unfinished works, but I skimmed a bit of the dialog of both chapters and it looks great and promising. It’s really great to have a new author writing about B&T, especially a good one :-)
I’ll wait until there are a few more chapters out and then I’ll start reading.
Thank you for sharing
Heya Noa!
Ya know what, I totally get you on that. Regardless, I really appreciate you skimming and for the fabulous compliment. I wasn’t sure how my dialogue was going because I’ve had to really get back into listening to how these characters speak to make sure I’m being as in their voice as humanly possible. I don’t know about you but when I read fics, I get completely dragged out of the story when I read dialogue I can’t really hear in their voices. That might be an unpopular opinion. Not sure. XD
But I digress, thank you so much for commenting and giving it a shot. :)
Hi Sloane,
What an interesting concept to this story. I love that Tina is on her way to Bette’s house. I sensed your story will have a happy Bette & Tina ending. I listened to Jennifer on the Pants podcast, too, and believe Tibette will be endgame. It won’t be easy to watch S2 at times, but I just believe they will end up together.
I like that your Bette took responsibility for convincing Tina to quit her job. I always believed she did pressure Tina to quit; that loss of identity for Tina was a sort of catalyst to their subsequent problems. Not that they didn’t already have issues and Tina is certainly at fault, too.
I’m hooked on this story and can’t wait for the next chapter.
Hey Westy,
Yeah that podcast really just sat in the back of my mind for a few days and I was like… Hmm. It’s funny how someone can say something that you hope for but don’t expect and suddenly it just sticks a thought in there, where you’re immediately inspired with an idea.
I also believe that Bette, in some way, did add pressure. Maybe Tina might not want to see that immediately because I think both of them struggle to a degree with taking on more blame than what is reasonable at times. But I hope that maybe, in some way, Season 2 will include some sort of interaction like this where they actually ‘need’ to hash out something in order for a proper way to move forward (of course, we all hope that will draw them back toward one another *fingers crossed*).
Thank you so much for reading and replying, I really appreciate it. I hope that you find a nice distraction or something in it to enjoy passing a little time in your day. :)
wow… what a great story.. :-)
have to tell you the truth, I hate any stories of the L Word after season 6, I hate any season where Tina and Bette was seperated. but after reading your story, I changed my mind, you did great.. :-)