…At the same time Bette was getting tired of crying. Seeing Tina was like a truck hitting her hard. She wasnt prepare. It was such a surprised that she thought shed die right there. It took her breathe away. She thought she could not walk towards her but her feet walked her there knowing the road towards Tina. It was a road they have taken many times. Bette was happy for that. She didnt make the decision that time, she was so much in shock that she didnt know what to do.

What hit her the most was how beautiful Tina looked. She was thinner and having a beautiful light tan. Her hair was longer and a bit lighter and in that curly loose way that Bette loved that much. But the moment she took a look at Tinas eyes she felt her heart broken again. Shed not believe the pain and fear she saw in Tinas eyes. She was not ready for that. All those weeks writing to her, Bette was thinking about her old Tina, she knew shed be in pain and sad but she didnt think that this new Tina was somebody she didnt know anything about. But then she also saw that glim of determination that she loved in Tina so much. That small glim scared the ***** out of Bette.What If Tina was over her? What if she didnt want to even try to work things out? What if?
Those what ifs” were killing Bette and at the same time she was getting tired of the sobbing, broken person she was becoming. So jumping from her bed she walked to the dining room and turned her laptop on.


Tina and Alice were walking along the water, waves almost reaching them. It was a warm night and both of them were barefoot.
it was just too scary Al, seeing Bette there
Alice was quiet, nodding.
I wanted to hug her so badly that it hurt but then the moment I looked into her eyes I saw such pain and fear that I lost it Al. I cant do it, I cant be there for her. I cant be the one to heal her wounds, her fears. The funny thing is that I want to, is killing me not to go home and kiss her, tell her that everything will be ok, that she will be okthat I will be ok.
I I need her to be the strong one. I need her to be there for me, I need her toI dont know. I need to heal myself and the moment I saw her I knew I couldnt do it having her by my side.
I…, I dont know what it means Al, I dont know how long will it take..or if we will get anywhere.

Alice was crying, she didnt want to say anything, she didnt want Tina to see her crying but listening to her friend was making it all very clear. She was seeing how broke Tina and Bettes relationship was, how lost the both of them were. But she was also seeing how much, even when any of them knew it, how much they both were looking for the same. How much they were trying and if only fate could help them she knew, she was sure theyd meet in the middle of their journey.

Tina saw Alice tears and they made her sad, to know that her friend was suffering from them made her, once gain, decide to share something very especial to her.

You know Al, you know that first time we met
Sure Alice finally smiled, it was a sweet memory.
That first time, when I met you and Shane scared the ***** out of me
really?
yeah, well, you were Bettes friends and I was still getting to know Bette. It was only our third date and I didnt know that much about her
You didnt?
Tina smiled, knowing where Alice was going to by that question.
No,Al, I didnt. As a matter of fact I only knew Bette from the outside Gosh I was so shy Its funny because I really wasnt that shy but I guess that after that first kiss with Bette at the gallery I pretty much knew that the whole Bette and I was a “not returning trip”. It hit me that she was a woman and that I was woman and that meant that at some point were going to have *****.

Alice smiled, chucking briefly.

Yeah (blushing a little).. and I wanted it so badly but then, I didnt know a single thing about lesbians. I didnt know anything about ***** ***** and ..you know meit all got into meI became obsess . I read everything Id find about it and the more I read the more nervous I was becoming.

Alice nodded, smiling. She was loving the story so much…

So every time Bette kissed me I was ok, it was great, I loved it well you know (laughing) you, you know how good she is

Yeah, (laughing) I think I can remember

yeah..well .. kissing was great.. but then every time Bette tried to get to next base I lost it. I became the pink panther!… falling off the couch, braking glasses, babbling like a baby, making up silly excuses.. Mg it was ridiculous. And poor Bette was so patient. I was getting frustrated and I knew Bette was too so finally, one day she asked me about it. We were at her place, making dinner. She was setting the table and nonchalantly she asked me.
baby, are we ok?, are you happy?
I turn around and looked at her.
sure, why? U ok?
She moved closer to me and placing her hand on my hip, looking me in the eyes she just said it with the sweetest tone.
Its just, I know we should take it slow, but its been a month right?, I mean, I know I love you and is killing me not to be able to show to you how much I love you

Believe me Al, I blushed so much that Id have explote. I didnt know how to tell her but then I looked at her sweet eyes and feeling her warm hand on my hip I tod her. I told her about my worries and fears and all those books and information, all those pictures I had in my head and finally I told her I was scare that id be a failure, that Id be not good enough for her.
She listened to all I had to say and when I finished she leaned and kissed me softly on the lips.
You trust me? She asked the moment she moved away from me. I just nodded, was still getting over that kiss she gave me.

She then took my hand in hers and walked me to her bedroom.


Alice was so lost in what Tina was saying that she didnt notice that Tina was quiet.

“And?” Alice asked, begging, her eyes looking for Tinas, pleading.

Well, you know

“MyyyyyGooood T, cmon! you can no leave it there!”

Tina was smiling, it was easy to tease Alice.

“Ok..well