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    And Now for Something Completely Different (Single Chapter Story)

    Story written on January 1, 2006 by justkeepswimming.
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    26 votes, average: 5.00 out of 526 votes, average: 5.00 out of 526 votes, average: 5.00 out of 526 votes, average: 5.00 out of 526 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5 (26 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 35
    Words: 5257
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=58728
    Author Notes:

    Never ignore your intuition.

     

    There was a pause before the gentleman in question turned the beam towards his own face, lighting his visage from beneath his chin.

     

    "You must be Bette Porter. Sorry I didn’t mean to startle you two," he said with a smile. "This place isn’t quite as foreboding in the light of day. I apologize for the lack of electricity. I just received a message that someone vandalized one of the circuit boxes in the last 24 hours. It’s going to make it hard to have a good look around."

     

    "Great, another time then," Tina released Bette’s hand and grasped her elbow to tug her toward their only exit. "We’ve got other things we can attend to this evening."

     

    "No one is expecting us anywhere tonight," Bette said with a confused look on her face. "We might as well see what we can see while we’re here." She turned toward a narrow hallway, barely visible with the light that was coming in from the full moon and streetlights. She separated herself from Tina’s grasp and strode purposefully through the heavily beamed archway that lead to the hall in question.

     

    "If no one is expecting you, we can certainly make the most of the time that’s available to us," Mr. Strathmore quietly spoke to Tina as he passed her, keeping pace with Bette’s intended direction.

     

    Tina’s eyes grew wide at what she could only describe as Bette’s stupidity. Alone, in the warehouse district, surrounded by abandoned buildings, with a strange man touring them around a derelict squatter’s den, Bette had seen fit to inform him that they ‘weren’t expected anywhere’ that evening. The goosebumps on her flesh foreshadowed at least the bizarre, but possibly the menacing.

     

    Tina was reticent to follow them down the dim corridor. She instead veered left into the wide room that preceded Bette’s path deeper into the heart of the building.

     

    She caught sight of an unusual shape lying flat on the floor against the far wall, surrounded by random pieces of wood and what appeared to be glass, reflecting what little light made its way into the room. As she neared, she became gradually more aware of what she was looking at. It was the shape of a human torso.

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    Comments

    12. Very interesting story and I think you can take it further if you want to and make it into a thriller….hahaha. Just a thought. Whatever you offer up, I will gladly read. Thanks, JKS.

    14. Ok that creeped me out I was like run Tina run. You should always trust your first instincts even if they seem utterly ridiculous. btw the mice/rat would have been enough to have me high-tailing it out of there.

    20. When women put themselves in a dangerous situation like this, I am always annoyed at their taking such a chance. Don’t they ever watch movies? Don’t they know how dangerous it is to go into a spooky building? As I was reading your post I kept wondering if B&T were wearing those four-inch spiked heels. It’s hard to run in those stilts……Perhaps you’re right that “less is more,” but I always enjoy your stories, long or short.

    22. I’m with slipperynipple. I would’ve said “Fuck this shit!” and ran as soon as the mouse appeared. Actually I probably wouldn’t have gone at all. It’s crazy how easy it is to scare me. Feel free to continue with this because it sounds cool.

    23. Hey great to hear from you so quickly :o)) This was very creepy and very diffirent, but in my book you’ve carried through another challenge to an A (grade)….I don’t know if that sounded right in english??? but I hope so….I just wanted to say I loved it :o)) Take care in 2006…

    24. Yay, a new story, looking forward to rolling with this one. Keep it coming swimmie, maybe 50% less viewers, but we are 100% faithful. Keep the ink flowing…Cheers luv

    27. That was awesome. Do Bette and Tina wander around aimlessly in the back of your mind until you figure out a new scenario in which to place them? Between you and me (and everybody else who reads this comment), they own a penthouse in my mind.By the way, I love the Monty Python reference.

    34. Why did chose to get up at 2:30 in the morning, wander down a dark hallway to my office to read this story? Who’s going to hold my hand as I try to get back to my bedroom? …Great change of pace JKS, an excellent diversion of domestic drama… Now, where’s my flashlight?

    35. wow! Awesome writing!! i loved this story! It really made me think :) Don’t worry about the other readers…we’re the important ones! Please, keep writing. I’ll be reading.

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