End Flashback

Flashback – Carmen

She said it.
She said that she’s sorry.
She said that she still loves me and there’s nothing but truth into her eyes.
She slumps her shoulders, defeated, and she tightens her grip on the banister, her left foot ready to move.
She’s giving in and I don’t wanna fight anymore.
I feel like I am paralyzed here, unable to move.
She is going to leave.
I should be happy.
I won.
But I am not happy.
Because I’m losing her.
And I don’t want to and this realization is deflagrating.
I don’t know how, I don’t know why, my rage has disappeared.
I only know when it happened.
It was because of her words.
A few words, but the right ones to crush my soul.
The only ones I needed to hear, in the voice I needed to hear them.
“Shane”, I call her with a sob that I cannot hold anymore.
I head towards her.
She slowly turns her head towards me, her hair partially covering her eyes.
And despite that, her eyes are glimmering with tears.
My pace is quicker, more and more determined.
She rapidly goes down the stairs and we crash halfway, one against the other.
Her arms squeezing me tightly, her hands running across my body, cupping my face.
Her warm breath on my skin, on my mouth.
I’m breathing the air she is breathing and I feel alive.
I cup her face and kiss her.
We kiss, we kiss for an endless time.
“I am sorry”, she sobs, silently, against my lips.
I silence her with another kiss, lingering, lingering forever.
Her cheeks wet with tears and I feel like I’m on fire.
I glance at the house, destroyed, in pieces around us, and I close my eyes, feeling her tongue, grazing her fingers still cupping my face.
“God I missed you”, I finally explode, and she chuckles, sniffling, raking her fingers through my hair, running them on my face, on my neck.
I swallow as she picks me up with no words and slams me against the banister, I kiss her neck, my tongue moving slowly on her skin and she’s panting, she’s already breathing heavily.
My hands rapidly unbuttoning her shirt, messing with her tie.
Her hands quickly unzipping my dress, lifting it, grabbing my thighs, grabbing my ass, pulling me closer, closer, grinding against me.
I unbutton her jeans and slide my hand into her panties, making her gasp.
My back pressed painfully against the banister, then against the steps and she is all over me, she is between my legs and her lips are everywhere on my skin, burning kisses and I am losing my mind.
She pulls down my dress, baring my breast, her mouth on my nipples and my head spins.
Kissing me feverishly, nibbling my soft skin, finding a way to reach my naked sides, to reach my stomach, as my fingers run across her hair, pulling it gently, asking for more.
She moves my thong aside and penetrates me, unexpectedly, making me shout, and I open my arms, crucified on these stairs, my head pressed against the cold, hard marble, moving rhythmically, following her rhythm, chocking because of the waves of pleasure invading me.
Starting to feel something again, starting to feel anything, everything again, just because she’s here, she’s all over me, she’s making love to me like she used to do.
Feeling everything because the distance between us has disappeared, because Shane is all I feel and she’s my everything and I cannot deny it anymore.
I grab her hair, grimacing as her fingers move inside of me.
“God I love you”, I moan.
“God I love you too”, Shane immediately replies in her low, husky voice.
I can’t stop these tears from falling and she kisses them away, as my legs wrap tightly around her waist, as my hips push against her hand, against her body.
“We re-did the house…”, she murmurs, chuckling, panting.
I giggle.
“We’ll talk about this later…”.
“Yeah…”, her lips grazing mine, “…Who cares anyway…”.
I run my fingers on her face, jolting under her thrusts.
“We are going to have to re-do every conversation we’ve had during the last months…”.
“There is nowhere I’d rather be than here with you”, Shane murmurs, her smile slowly disappearing and her eyes staring at me, at every detail of my face.
“God, you’re so beautiful… you look like Christmas morning…”.
Her voice throaty, low, irresistible.
“I love you Shane…”, I declare finally, grabbing her head, forcing her to look at me.
“…I love you and I am sorry and –“.
She closes my mouth with hers and I arch my back, looking for air, trying hard to catch my breath, as I shake, as I shiver, as I come in front of her eyes, shouting and moaning and pulling her shirt.
Her wedding ring sparkles in the dim light as she gently caresses my face, and it’s all right.
We have a long road in front of us and it’s all right.

End Flashback

I guess at that point, there was no reason to be anything but absolutely honest, right, ladies and gentlemen?
Through all that had happened, Shane had always loved Carmen.
Through the sorrow, through the tears, through the rage.
And Carmen had always loved Shane.
Through the sorrow, through the tears, through the rage.
And they both knew that right from the start.
They just couldn’t believe it anymore.
They didn’t want to.
It was much easier to pretend that they were hating each other.
It was much difficult to admit that overwhelming, unbearable love, and work things out.
As I already said, they needed to reach the bottom.
They needed to be really scared to lose each other, to realize that they didn’t want to.
What’s the moral?
I don’t know.
It could be just this: a civilized divorce is a contradiction in terms.
Maybe because of what happened, I’ve become too traditional.
Maybe not everybody can stay married to one person for life.
My grandparents did it.
40 years.
A few of ‘em good!
So, look, here it is.
We can begin, if you really wanna a divorce.
When it comes to your partner, I am going to urge you to be generous to the point of night sweats.
The all-important thing is to get you through this as quickly and cleanly as possible so that you can begin rebuilding your life.
Okay?
Or…
You can get up and go home, and try to find some shred of what you once loved about the sweetheart of your youth.
It’s your life.
And… What?
You wanna know what’s happened to Shane and Carmen?
Oh well, they…
Let’s just say that… I guess that what happens in the end, is that you start thinking about the beginning.
Shane and Carmen are still married, and they’re happier than they’ve ever been.
Their divorce file has ended in the bin.
Their huge mansion has been sold and now they both live in a very nice apartment, downtown.
They both work part-time, and they spend together all the time left.
They are not as rich as before, but they’re surely exctatic.
They look great, and I am happy for them.
They’re even planning to…
…Take a minute. My phone is ringing.
(Grabbing the telephone)
Hi Dane, honey, what are you doing?
Yeah, I am coming home. Love you. Bye.

THE END