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Backstory ~ Chapter 12
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Bette checked her phone again, hoping that there was a message from Tina that she would be home soon. When there wasn’t, Bette headed to Tina’s garden tools. She found Tina’s long garden gloves and two short three-prong hoes. Tucking both under one arm, she went to the kitchen and poured a double shot of their best single malt scotch into a glass, and carried it, along with the gardening tools, to her bedroom. Bette alternated sips of scotch with removal and replacement of her items of clothing as she switched from work clothes to something more utilitarian.
Finally dressed in jeans, a long sleeved turtle neck sweater, heavy socks, and hiking boots that were at the back of the closet, Bette pulled her hair up and gulped down the last of the scotch. While she waited for the full effect of the amber liquid to take hold, she sat at the edge of the bed and made a plan.
~~
Trouble had waited faithfully for Bette to exit the bedroom and was disappointed when she strode past him and exited the house. He plopped down in front of the door to wait for her return. The door burst open in less than a minute. The almost grown wolf pup rose in excitement and jumped on Bette. Bette stumbled backwards.
“TROUBLE!!!!!” His name was screamed by both his grandparents and his human cousin.
“Fuuuuuuck!” Bette yelled.
Bette fell against the wall without dropping either of the cages that were hooked on one of the prongs of the hoes she held in either hand. She had spread her arms away from her body as she fell, desperately trying to keep the cages far away from her body. The cages swung back and forth on the prongs and Bette was certain that she heard squealing.
Trouble had jumped down but now sat directly in front of his aunt, overcome with excitement because she had come home, chagrin that he had made her stumble, and curiosity about the cages.
“Mama, you have to put more money in the curse jar.”
“Fuck,” Bette muttered as she tried to right herself as she stared at the cages, relieved that the doors had not unlocked.
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I have to get some sleep, otherwise I’d read this now. So glad to see this. Thanks.
i tried to read every 3rd page, then every 2nd page…but i decided that Tolstoy has nothing on you and I read it all…brilliant, entertaining, hilarious…loved it
Very funny. Love Aunt cranky hunter.
Hahahahaha…Spumoni, where did you get your imagination and humour from…it is unbelievable! As far as I’m concerned, you could have kept on writing cause I would have kept on redaing. Thanks for the update, it was truly precious!
Well, i couldn’t get through War and Peace, so i kinda gave up after a few tries… Your story is always quite an enjoyable read! Thanks for posting!
Ha-ha Spumoni! This is a jewel! I love your humor…I love the scene of Bette realizing that she’s taking all those animals home, trying to grab Tina for help, and keep Angie happy. You have several great one-liners! Too good! Thanks for making my day!
ROFLMAO welcome back , i love this story!!:)PPS
OH man, I love this story. Bette was hilarious but I too would have done the same thing. Maybe a visit from the wolves to the school would set the two women straight, or scare the hell out of them. Where is the jar, I said a bad word.
Now I don´t think Tolstoy´s famous for his wit. Never really felt like laughing reading War and Peace, but Alice, Mrs. Vonnegut, Troubles and a hyperventilating Bette with a burping snake in the back seat….now that´s a classic. Hilarious update. Thanks.
U r just too much!!! U make Bette absolutely lovable. I can totally picture Ange-poor patient strong resolute Tina carrying responsibility for all of them-and vegan Trouble is too cute…That has cheered me up so much.
i’ve never had so much fun … entertaining, hysterically funny, and full of spumoni wit and humor. trouble should get a squirrel for his efforts. with chocolate on top.
Thanks that was great. I don’t know but your pot brownies must be really good. :) Or is there a better explanation for your wonderful hilarious story . I love it and thank God that trouble is as sweet as he is.
Hi, dear sweet Spumoni! Ah, we certainly enjoyed this hylarious update, sweetie. Hmm It was a bit of a nightmare, at first, for Bette to have all those pets to watch. Hehehe But we think that Trouble did a wonderful sentinel job. *wink* Plus, the distraction was welcomed by the wolfies, although they didn’t understand why all those animals were not delivered as meal. Hehehe Oh, this was a joyful reading, dearest friend. Thanks for the laughs. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
I was really proud of Trouble this chapter. Is he a vegetarian? Vonnegut must be crushed. If she thinks she’s going to slight la famille P-K in a years-long campaign, and win, then I think she needs to be brought down in a subtle counter-strike of equal length. Great chapter, Spumoni. Love the humor in this. Thanks! :)
I did a very happy dance when I seen youe post. I love Troubles. Je loves Bette so much that he tool care of her pets. I love aminals and after have 4 boys they did become a part of our lifes. You name it we had it. Goat s.horses.yes a pig.rats snakes lizards. Cant forget the dogs and cats. Now I,m to old the boys are gone so just some dogs and cat. thankyou so much for this wonderful story
LMAO! This whole post was just absolutely hilarious. I’d read Backstory over War and Peace any day. After all, who needs peace when you have Bette Porter freaking out? lol. Trouble is just cuter and cuter every day. I love that he guarded that hamster. I don’t think anyone could manage to read every second or third page. I was eagerly hoping for more pages to magically appear, actually. Ciao, yarrrrr!
Definitely Tolstoy has nothing on you … it was a brilliant chapter and there was really nothing you could do to edit it or change it – was perfect as it is :) And I really couldn’t sip pages – this story is just too excellent :) Thank you :)
Crap, I thought Bette was supposed to be smart! How come she just didn’t invent a whole series of terrible allergies for Tina that would have prevented them housing the menagerie? Thank you for bringing this back.
Can’t imagine skipping one word much less a page or two!! Absolutely hilarious! The thought of Bette with all those cages… and then the wolves waiting for their special dinner… so funny. Made me think back to my son finding me on top of the kitchen table screaming like a lunatic after seeing his snake slither across the floor. Always look forward to the trials and tribulations of Pinky’s Beloved. Thanks, Spumoni!