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Backstory ~ Chapter 12
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“Angie, let’s go,” Bette called to her daughter, who was running across the lawn trying to catch floating wishing balls.
The little girl ran to the car and clipped herself into her car seat while Bette watched. The mother then took several deep breaths and took her seat behind the wheel. She waved and smiled reassuringly as they passed the security patrol.
Bette decided to take the streets home rather than the highway. It would almost double their travel time but it would be easier to pull over when she had the panic attack that she was certain was coming.
“Mama, I’m hungry!”
A guilt stricken Bette realized that she had forgotten to feed her daughter her lunch. Her mind scrambled. She could not leave Angelica in the car while she got them something. She could not leave the pets in the car in the 97 degree heat. She could not leave the motor running to power the air conditioning. Bette thought hard and realized that there was no drive-through health food restaurant. She was distracted from her cargo for a moment as she thought of the disconnect — a drive-through health food store. She pondered and thought that there should be a jog-though or bike-through or a rollerblade through or even a power walk-through.
“Mama, I’m hungry,” Angelica said, more loudly.
Bette sighed and headed to the only drive-through choice, knowing that when Tina found out she was likely to be banned to the couch for at least one night.
~~
“C’mon, Angelica. Chicken nuggets or cheeseburger?” Bette looked at the line of cars that had somehow appeared behind theirs in the McDonalds’ parking lot,
“Nuggets! No, wait, cheeseburger! No, nuggets!”
Bette sighed and leaned out the window to talk into the microphone imbedded in the plastic sign. She looked at the listed items so that she would order properly. “Two Happy Meals, one Chicken McNuggets with yoghurt and apple juice, one cheeseburger, carrot sticks and milk. One bottle of water. Please make sure that the Happy Meals have different toys.”
“That’ll be $13.27. Come around please.”
“Oh. Wait. Please add an extra large fries to that.”
Bette hoped that the fryer fat in the fries would clog her arteries enough to temporarily slow her beating heart.
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I have to get some sleep, otherwise I’d read this now. So glad to see this. Thanks.
i tried to read every 3rd page, then every 2nd page…but i decided that Tolstoy has nothing on you and I read it all…brilliant, entertaining, hilarious…loved it
Very funny. Love Aunt cranky hunter.
Hahahahaha…Spumoni, where did you get your imagination and humour from…it is unbelievable! As far as I’m concerned, you could have kept on writing cause I would have kept on redaing. Thanks for the update, it was truly precious!
Well, i couldn’t get through War and Peace, so i kinda gave up after a few tries… Your story is always quite an enjoyable read! Thanks for posting!
Ha-ha Spumoni! This is a jewel! I love your humor…I love the scene of Bette realizing that she’s taking all those animals home, trying to grab Tina for help, and keep Angie happy. You have several great one-liners! Too good! Thanks for making my day!
ROFLMAO welcome back , i love this story!!:)PPS
OH man, I love this story. Bette was hilarious but I too would have done the same thing. Maybe a visit from the wolves to the school would set the two women straight, or scare the hell out of them. Where is the jar, I said a bad word.
Now I don´t think Tolstoy´s famous for his wit. Never really felt like laughing reading War and Peace, but Alice, Mrs. Vonnegut, Troubles and a hyperventilating Bette with a burping snake in the back seat….now that´s a classic. Hilarious update. Thanks.
U r just too much!!! U make Bette absolutely lovable. I can totally picture Ange-poor patient strong resolute Tina carrying responsibility for all of them-and vegan Trouble is too cute…That has cheered me up so much.
i’ve never had so much fun … entertaining, hysterically funny, and full of spumoni wit and humor. trouble should get a squirrel for his efforts. with chocolate on top.
Thanks that was great. I don’t know but your pot brownies must be really good. :) Or is there a better explanation for your wonderful hilarious story . I love it and thank God that trouble is as sweet as he is.
Hi, dear sweet Spumoni! Ah, we certainly enjoyed this hylarious update, sweetie. Hmm It was a bit of a nightmare, at first, for Bette to have all those pets to watch. Hehehe But we think that Trouble did a wonderful sentinel job. *wink* Plus, the distraction was welcomed by the wolfies, although they didn’t understand why all those animals were not delivered as meal. Hehehe Oh, this was a joyful reading, dearest friend. Thanks for the laughs. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
I was really proud of Trouble this chapter. Is he a vegetarian? Vonnegut must be crushed. If she thinks she’s going to slight la famille P-K in a years-long campaign, and win, then I think she needs to be brought down in a subtle counter-strike of equal length. Great chapter, Spumoni. Love the humor in this. Thanks! :)
I did a very happy dance when I seen youe post. I love Troubles. Je loves Bette so much that he tool care of her pets. I love aminals and after have 4 boys they did become a part of our lifes. You name it we had it. Goat s.horses.yes a pig.rats snakes lizards. Cant forget the dogs and cats. Now I,m to old the boys are gone so just some dogs and cat. thankyou so much for this wonderful story
LMAO! This whole post was just absolutely hilarious. I’d read Backstory over War and Peace any day. After all, who needs peace when you have Bette Porter freaking out? lol. Trouble is just cuter and cuter every day. I love that he guarded that hamster. I don’t think anyone could manage to read every second or third page. I was eagerly hoping for more pages to magically appear, actually. Ciao, yarrrrr!
Definitely Tolstoy has nothing on you … it was a brilliant chapter and there was really nothing you could do to edit it or change it – was perfect as it is :) And I really couldn’t sip pages – this story is just too excellent :) Thank you :)
Crap, I thought Bette was supposed to be smart! How come she just didn’t invent a whole series of terrible allergies for Tina that would have prevented them housing the menagerie? Thank you for bringing this back.
Can’t imagine skipping one word much less a page or two!! Absolutely hilarious! The thought of Bette with all those cages… and then the wolves waiting for their special dinner… so funny. Made me think back to my son finding me on top of the kitchen table screaming like a lunatic after seeing his snake slither across the floor. Always look forward to the trials and tribulations of Pinky’s Beloved. Thanks, Spumoni!