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Backstory ~ Chapter 12
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“Soon, Grandma?”
The matriarch looked through the window blinds at the shadows’ lengths. “No, sweetie, a few hours more,” she answered before she slipped back into her afternoon nap.
Trouble padded to the front door and listened hopefully, though he knew his grandmother was correct and he had made the same trip to the door at least ten times since the morning.
He was terribly terribly bored. He sat and looked at his cousin, who was awake and deliberately avoiding his gaze The two of them had been chasing each other all around the house just an hour ago, but their Uncle Red had yelled at them and she had settled in with the pack. He had pretended to nap but his expectant energy was felt by all.
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Bette stared at her phone, desperately scrolling through her address book. Kit was in an audit meeting with the IRS. Helena was on her way to France to visit Wilson and Jung Li. Alice was undercover for LA Magazine, investigating the possibility that nail salons were putting false designer labels on the polish they used. Shane had disappeared to places unknown after she and Nicky had been discovered, though she regularly called to assure them that she was OK. Jenny was on the Island of Lesbos, in communion (she repeatedly texted) with the spirit of the poet Sappho. Tasha was a cop and the house had wolves, so she was not an option. With the exception of Tasha, she did not care if the rest learned about Tina’s visiting family. Just as long as someone else would empty the car.
Bette scrolled through her second and third group of friends. She considered James, but there had been hints at CU that she used him for too many personal matters. She decided that, as a last resort, she would drive to CU and ask for his help at the end of his work day. They had never discussed the subject, but she hoped that he loved or at least was indifferent to rodents.
She waited forty minutes, hoping for a reply to her many messages as Angelica became more and more whiney.
The security patrol has already slowed down twice as it passed her car and Bette knew that she had to leave as she saw it approach for the third time. A complaint by Security could lead to Angelica’s expulsion. Again. She thought of the Xanax that Tina had given her. It rested at the bottom of her handbag, wrapped in foil. For a moment, she considered it, but realized that it had sat there for years and probably wouldn’t be effective. She also decided that she would be crazy to try to drive while under the influence of a drug which she had never before taken.
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I have to get some sleep, otherwise I’d read this now. So glad to see this. Thanks.
i tried to read every 3rd page, then every 2nd page…but i decided that Tolstoy has nothing on you and I read it all…brilliant, entertaining, hilarious…loved it
Very funny. Love Aunt cranky hunter.
Hahahahaha…Spumoni, where did you get your imagination and humour from…it is unbelievable! As far as I’m concerned, you could have kept on writing cause I would have kept on redaing. Thanks for the update, it was truly precious!
Well, i couldn’t get through War and Peace, so i kinda gave up after a few tries… Your story is always quite an enjoyable read! Thanks for posting!
Ha-ha Spumoni! This is a jewel! I love your humor…I love the scene of Bette realizing that she’s taking all those animals home, trying to grab Tina for help, and keep Angie happy. You have several great one-liners! Too good! Thanks for making my day!
ROFLMAO welcome back , i love this story!!:)PPS
OH man, I love this story. Bette was hilarious but I too would have done the same thing. Maybe a visit from the wolves to the school would set the two women straight, or scare the hell out of them. Where is the jar, I said a bad word.
Now I don´t think Tolstoy´s famous for his wit. Never really felt like laughing reading War and Peace, but Alice, Mrs. Vonnegut, Troubles and a hyperventilating Bette with a burping snake in the back seat….now that´s a classic. Hilarious update. Thanks.
U r just too much!!! U make Bette absolutely lovable. I can totally picture Ange-poor patient strong resolute Tina carrying responsibility for all of them-and vegan Trouble is too cute…That has cheered me up so much.
i’ve never had so much fun … entertaining, hysterically funny, and full of spumoni wit and humor. trouble should get a squirrel for his efforts. with chocolate on top.
Thanks that was great. I don’t know but your pot brownies must be really good. :) Or is there a better explanation for your wonderful hilarious story . I love it and thank God that trouble is as sweet as he is.
Hi, dear sweet Spumoni! Ah, we certainly enjoyed this hylarious update, sweetie. Hmm It was a bit of a nightmare, at first, for Bette to have all those pets to watch. Hehehe But we think that Trouble did a wonderful sentinel job. *wink* Plus, the distraction was welcomed by the wolfies, although they didn’t understand why all those animals were not delivered as meal. Hehehe Oh, this was a joyful reading, dearest friend. Thanks for the laughs. PPS Hugs & kisses on both your cheeks. – Lu & Marsh (Proud Salsa Aunties to the loving JC, Eunichick, ZLFAN, T_Daze, Melrose231 and Tias Adoradas to Patpez)
I was really proud of Trouble this chapter. Is he a vegetarian? Vonnegut must be crushed. If she thinks she’s going to slight la famille P-K in a years-long campaign, and win, then I think she needs to be brought down in a subtle counter-strike of equal length. Great chapter, Spumoni. Love the humor in this. Thanks! :)
I did a very happy dance when I seen youe post. I love Troubles. Je loves Bette so much that he tool care of her pets. I love aminals and after have 4 boys they did become a part of our lifes. You name it we had it. Goat s.horses.yes a pig.rats snakes lizards. Cant forget the dogs and cats. Now I,m to old the boys are gone so just some dogs and cat. thankyou so much for this wonderful story
LMAO! This whole post was just absolutely hilarious. I’d read Backstory over War and Peace any day. After all, who needs peace when you have Bette Porter freaking out? lol. Trouble is just cuter and cuter every day. I love that he guarded that hamster. I don’t think anyone could manage to read every second or third page. I was eagerly hoping for more pages to magically appear, actually. Ciao, yarrrrr!
Definitely Tolstoy has nothing on you … it was a brilliant chapter and there was really nothing you could do to edit it or change it – was perfect as it is :) And I really couldn’t sip pages – this story is just too excellent :) Thank you :)
Crap, I thought Bette was supposed to be smart! How come she just didn’t invent a whole series of terrible allergies for Tina that would have prevented them housing the menagerie? Thank you for bringing this back.
Can’t imagine skipping one word much less a page or two!! Absolutely hilarious! The thought of Bette with all those cages… and then the wolves waiting for their special dinner… so funny. Made me think back to my son finding me on top of the kitchen table screaming like a lunatic after seeing his snake slither across the floor. Always look forward to the trials and tribulations of Pinky’s Beloved. Thanks, Spumoni!