Then there was that quietness again. I fucking hate it when that happens to the both of us. I was playing with my cup and we have the staring game again.

“Shane… I need to know… what’s all this…?” She asked me. Hell, like I know. “I mean… you made it clear to me then that we’re friends and just that…now, you said those words to me… and I wanted to hear it from you, I did… I’ve fallen for you since I first laid my eyes on you Shane… I want to know if you’re feeling the same way as I do…” She asked. Now she put the spotlight on me. I was quiet at first and I was nervous. I didn’t know what this was… I didn’t know what the hell I was feeling, all I know was I wanted her. I wanted her to be happy… with me.

“Carmen… I’ve never been in this situation before… and yeah, that was lie when I said the kiss didn’t mean anything because fuck, all I could think about after was the kiss…” I stopped and looked at her; she looked at me with intensity in her eyes. “All I know is that you make me feel… like I’m not my self… I think you about you all the goddamn time… and it drives me crazy that I can’t figure out all of this…” I said the truth.

See, I hate it when I’m not in control. I hate it when I don’t know something that I feel like I should have control of. And this… I hate it and love it all at the same time.

Well after that we ended up in her bed. I’ve never been into her room before. It’s all nice and neat. She keeps everything organized. She has her laptop properly placed with her big head phones and all her DJ equipments are stacked nicely in black cases, with a white spray painted letters assembled “DJ SUGAR” on it.

But first we talked. She took my hand and guides me to her room. I don’t think I ever had a three hour conversation before. I learned that she’s older than me, that she’s actually two years older than me. I’m amazed by it and thought she should be at least a year younger than me. I learned her full named, Carmen De La Pica Morales. It’s a mouth full and she teaches me how to say it in that accent. She laughed a few times at my attempt and still I don’t mind her laughing at me.