Bette, many women have suffered miscarriages and have gone on to have several children. I know it hurts right nowbut those wounds will healyoull move on.

I dont think Tina will ever be able to forgive me for what I did.

Dont you think thats her choice? Shouldnt you at least ask for her forgiveness, before you decide that she cant give it to you? He leans forward in his chair. Dont take away her choiceforgiveness isnt about making the forgiven feel betterits about releasing some of your own anger. And you cant forgive yourself until you ask for it. Believe it or notyou will be better able to forgive yourself if you ask for her forgiveness first.

I suddenly raise my head, startling him. How can I ask forgiveness if she wont even see me?

How do you know she wont see you? Have you tried?

Well, no.

Dont you think you should try? Remember, dont take the choice away from her. Thats what you did when you were togetheryou didnt let her decide if she needed you to be strong. He stands and walks to the window. Lookeveryone wants to know theyre needed. When you didnt show Tina you were hurting over the baby, you took away her choice to comfort you…you dont think she needed to comfort you as much as you needed to comfort her?

I never thought about it that way. My tears slowly stop flowing.

Do you think if I ask, shell forgive me? I ask with hope.

I dont knowI cant tell you what shell dobut I CAN tell you that its her choice he turns to face me again, and you never know until you try.

Feeling better from that statement, I realize that I dont have an afternoon appointment any more. Do you have time? Would you like to work on the presentation a little more?

Sorry, I cant, hes apologetic. I have a wedding to perform tonight and I really must be going.

Okay, I reply, somewhat disappointed. I would like to have talked some more.

I hope youre able to begin working through some of your issues, open up that jar I was telling you about. He walks toward the door. and dont forget to give the choice back to Tina, he says as he departs.

Give the choice back to Tina. I can do that.but I dont know if shell see me. How can I face her after all the pain Ive put her through? Ill just ask Alice to see if shell see meI dont even have to go in the apartmentIll just ask from the hallwayunless Tina says yes. Then what? How can I ask her for forgiveness? I would never forgive her if our roles were reversed. Thats why shes a better person than you Porter. Now suck it up and face the firing squad.

To Be Continued