I’ve tried to figure out last night. It was so up, and so down, and then so…well, I wasn’t really sure what I experienced at the end.

Except for Hurricane Tina. It’d been a while, but I certainly experienced that phenomenon last night.

It was like wading onto a minefield. Damn. I guess I underestimated how familiar we’ve become recently. Or I didn’t see that mine coming.

Who ever does?

Damn.

Now what do I do?

Was this all just some weird romantic notion that I could go back and recapture what me and Tina once had?

Maybe she’s just testing me. Or maybe she thinks that I’m destined to fail.

The hardest part of all of this is that I know she feels something for me. Possibly she still loves me. But I guess she also feels that that’s not enough. Or so her actions would infer.

Damn.

What did happen last night? Was that a normal night at that house?

Porter, are you really up for this instant family idea? Maybe you should wait until Jess goes off to college.

Chicken.

You’ve never before backed away from a challenge, so why think about it now? Because it’s Tina? Or because you know you can’t stand the thought of disappointing Tina – again.

Damn.

The phone, thankfully, interrupted my musings.

“Bette Porter, how long’s it been?”

Alice. Even worse, Alice, in the morning sounding chipper. Something was definitely up. “Good morning, Alice.”

“And a good cheery morning to you, too.”

Formalities out of the way. Now comes the lull.

Which I wasn’t quite ready to break.

Neither was she.

Yet.

Oh, dammit, I guess I will. “What gets you up so early, Alice?”

“The thought of talking to you isn’t enough?”

Okay, Tina woke her. Is that a good thing? “To get you up in the morning?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Porter, you haven’t gotten me up in years.”

Alice can joke in the morning. Who knew? “What’s up, Alice?” I wasn’t yet in the mood for joking.

“I would say me, but we’ve been through that already.”

If it weren’t for the fact that I know Tina’s involved, I’d let Alice get back to her beauty sleep.

“Anyway, Porter, I’ve heard you were planning on getting the gang back together for lunch.”

I had been planning, but wasn’t sure that, upon reflection, that it was something I really wanted to do. “Maybe.”

“Okay, then. If you were, perhaps, planning on getting the gang back together for lunch, in theory, I’d like to come.”

And?

“Porter?”

“I’m listening.”

“You’re not making this easy, Bette.”

“Easy for who, Alice?” I’m coming to the conclusion that none of this is easy for me. Why should it be easy for anyone?

“Okay, I spoke with Tina.”

As assumed.

“She says that things got kind of wonky last night.”

“Wonky?”

“Work with me, Porter. Anyway, she’d still like to go to lunch with you, and me, and whoever else you deem required.”

And she’s not telling me this herself because? “Maybe my plans have changed, Alice.”

“You know, Bette, you do what you want. But I know Tina’s feeling bad about something, whether or not you choose to believe it. I also know she’s afraid, really really afraid, of being hurt again. You can close the door on her and ignore the fact that she’s reaching out because she didn’t call you directly, but don’t forget, it’s a door that you opened.”

Damn. She’s right. I hate it when Alice is right.

“Alice?”

“Yeah?”

“1:00?”

“Fine.”

“But, can you do a favor for me?”

“Maybe.”

I suppose I deserve that.

“Could you suggest a place?” I have been away for too long.

(tbc)