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Tomb Raider – Bette Porter L Word
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“Alice, we have to hurry. Helena’s got to screw it back together.”
“It’s true, Alice. Come on. Do you want to put all of Shane’s underwear in there or what?” Helena urges her, too.
Alice sits on the floor with the brass ovoid urn empty and open on her lap. There’s a little chalky dust on her hands and dress. “Dana had what? Four lovers in all? The tennis camp chick, Lara, me and Tonya.” Alice counts on one hand. She looks up at me shocked.
I shrug. It is incomprehensible.
“Four? God, we can’t send her away with that dreary a number can we?” Helena frowns into the empty ash pot.
“Better put them all in there, Alice.” I say. “Trust me, none of this stuff is returnable.” One by one we each pick up a handfuls of panties and bras and shove them inside. Helene quickly screws it shut.
Bette’s House –Night
This day cannot end soon enough. I fall back on my bed unwilling to be upright any longer much less put anything on a plate for dinner. The photograph I took has scarred into my mind forever: Mikey’s new family that includes my girlfriend and my daughter. It’s just so fucking wrong on every conceivable level I can’t even begin to examine them. I stare at the ceiling. What happened?
My phone rings.
“Yeah, I’m over here. Why what’s up?”
“Okay, sure I’ll split a pizza with you and Alice.” I feel myself begin to smile. “You guys come over here, right?” I hear her agree. “Shane, is Dana with you?” I nod. “Okay, sure, we can talk about that.”
As they sit at the kitchen bar I take down glasses from the cabinet. “I just want you guys to know, I’m getting drunk tonight. I’ve had it. I took a family portrait for Henry’s kid today. Guess who all was it in?” I pull open a bottle of red wine.
Shane shakes her head, “No, I’m good with beer. But that? That’s fucked up.”
“Alice, are you still taking any pills?” I hesitate before pouring her a glass.
“All done with that. It’s your house, get drunk if you want to. But look,” Alice puts Dana’s ashes still in the Starbucks cup on my counter, “we have to make a decision about Dana. I don’t want her to spend the night in this grimy cup, guys.”
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Another home run! So funny,witty but macabre and sad. Although, I wouldn’t like it if someone stole my loved one’s ashes but the scene was still freakin’ funny.
Damn! this is hilarious!….So funny that i want to see that it played out on my tv screen!…
Helena and Bette kiss? lmao..and she want to kiss Bette more? Alice is panicking?!
“We’re coming Dana. Just hang in there.” Alice looks up at me desperately. “I can’t get the fucking thing open!” She cries…what about when Tina comes in and saw the”kiss”… :P precious!
azmama was right..you’ve got another home run here.
Bette kissing Helena and Tina walking on them. Hilarious! I pay good money to see that! I am so glad that Tina is going to talk to Bette about what happened to Lucy and her. Thanks for making Henry not there during the talk.
Well my friend, you worked that one out quite well. So proud of you and your writings similar to spider webs, so precise yet riveting in beauty and flow. I laughed my butt off picturing in my mind that scene in the church playing out with the ashes and the kiss. It was an ending fit for the beauty of Dana and who she had become.
Ahhh, a turn toward home….
I like how you introduced the letter and conversation with Tina as a point in her life that I think Bette deserves an explanation for. The history between them warrants it. Hendick is still too fresh.
I’m beaming for the journey. Your voice and style are incredibly right on with this story writing.
Thank you for your gifts to us!
Pretty entertaining. I would love to have seen that in the series. Too funny. Thanks
the story is hilarious and sad. the funny part was helena and bette “kiss” lol. .yeah they hated each other. alice is a great character. i can’t believe about dana “died” in the show. you have done a marvelous job writing. as I always said, keep up the good work. i enjoyed your story.. now i am going to read the other story “Milkyway”
Absolutely LOVED it.Top to bottom.Can u imagine the URN STEALING being played out on the small screen?So much better &funnier than 17REASONS
Really liked this. It has all the emotions and was funny too. Would have loved to have seen the Helena/Bette kiss on screen with JB, LuH and RS!
The more I read this, the better it gets…..”…Starbucks cup….lol!!”
How could I have forgotten just how great this Chapter was :D
I am so enjoying my re-read on a cold rainy day in UK :)
Thanks BB :D
SassyGran, Thank you! This was a really fun and amusing to write to imagine how the group of friends ended up with Dana’s ashes in the first place. Dana’s family had been very protective and dismissive of Dana and her friends. And then to conceive of the scenario of them stealing Dana’s ashes from the stuffy “blind the obvious” church in the Republican stronghold of Orange County.
Another story that I had a blast writing was imagining was, Tomb Raider. Where would Bette go for baby kidnapping supplies when she spirited Angelica away from Shane’s botched wedding? Naturally, for the purposes of GIVING Bette a complete, “Fish Out of Water” moment I chose, WalMart. Bette Porter in a WalMart for the first time in her life and in the mood she was in amused me no end. I hope it did you, too.
It is there she finds her wonderful prop that repeats a few more times to great effect in my WeHo series, Bette’s Bowie Knife. That scary treacherous thing so matched her boiling mood at times that she had to bring it out again and again for all its menacing glory. I can’t remember all the times she flashed it for her satisfaction and mine but they were all great moments.
Thanks for reading! Thanks for commenting! And most of all – THANKS for enjoying yourself so thoroughly.
Blackbird