Fan Fiction
This story has been set to a rating of R. Age verification is required to proceed.
Tomb Raider – Bette Porter L Word
Login to add story to favorites
(7 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Loading ...
The three of us stare at the Starbucks cup. A tiny black ant pokes its head and antennae out of the opening in the lid. “Christ. That is so bleak.” I admit.
“Man, that is fucked up.” Shane agrees.
“See, I can’t take her home like this.” Alice shakes her head.
“I told Tina today, don’t burn me up, guys. I don’t like anything about it.”
“I’d ask about your silent retreat, Bette, but I mean, what is there to say?” Shane laughs toward me as she drinks her beer.
“Exactly. No, thanks for not asking.” I smile at her but feel my face change into anguish.
“It was too much to suddenly come home to this, Dana.” I say to the cup.
“Guys, I asked Carmen to marry me this afternoon.” Shane swigs on her beer and waits for our reactions.
All I can do is to drop my head into my hands at what an uncompromisingly bad idea that is for so many, many reasons. The first one being monogamy.
“Not a resounding vote of happiness there, Bette. You really don’t think she’ll come back?” Alice asks.
I rub my hands up and down my face. “Back to Shane and Carmen for a moment. I get the whole monogamy thing a lot clearer now. There’s anxiety either way. It’s not about the fear that you’re missing out on something exciting, or a fear that you don’t care anymore. It’s about knowing that what you’re accustomed to with another person is safe at least from someone else’s hands. Everything else, diseases,” I point at the stained cup. “Heaven forbid car crashes – anything that can just wallop the living shit out of you one day – at least is not lying in your bed in more ways than one.” I reach over for my wine and take a long drink. ”I finally get it.” I finish resolutely.
“Honestly, guys, I think I love her. And things feel just very fucked up.” Shane presses both her palms against her eyes to hide her tears.
My doorbell rings. Shane wipes her face all over with her hands as she reaches inside her pockets for money for the pizza.
“No, I got this.” I open the door to see Tina and not the pizza delivery.
Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Another home run! So funny,witty but macabre and sad. Although, I wouldn’t like it if someone stole my loved one’s ashes but the scene was still freakin’ funny.
Damn! this is hilarious!….So funny that i want to see that it played out on my tv screen!…
Helena and Bette kiss? lmao..and she want to kiss Bette more? Alice is panicking?!
“We’re coming Dana. Just hang in there.” Alice looks up at me desperately. “I can’t get the fucking thing open!” She cries…what about when Tina comes in and saw the”kiss”… :P precious!
azmama was right..you’ve got another home run here.
Bette kissing Helena and Tina walking on them. Hilarious! I pay good money to see that! I am so glad that Tina is going to talk to Bette about what happened to Lucy and her. Thanks for making Henry not there during the talk.
Well my friend, you worked that one out quite well. So proud of you and your writings similar to spider webs, so precise yet riveting in beauty and flow. I laughed my butt off picturing in my mind that scene in the church playing out with the ashes and the kiss. It was an ending fit for the beauty of Dana and who she had become.
Ahhh, a turn toward home….
I like how you introduced the letter and conversation with Tina as a point in her life that I think Bette deserves an explanation for. The history between them warrants it. Hendick is still too fresh.
I’m beaming for the journey. Your voice and style are incredibly right on with this story writing.
Thank you for your gifts to us!
Pretty entertaining. I would love to have seen that in the series. Too funny. Thanks
the story is hilarious and sad. the funny part was helena and bette “kiss” lol. .yeah they hated each other. alice is a great character. i can’t believe about dana “died” in the show. you have done a marvelous job writing. as I always said, keep up the good work. i enjoyed your story.. now i am going to read the other story “Milkyway”
Absolutely LOVED it.Top to bottom.Can u imagine the URN STEALING being played out on the small screen?So much better &funnier than 17REASONS
Really liked this. It has all the emotions and was funny too. Would have loved to have seen the Helena/Bette kiss on screen with JB, LuH and RS!
The more I read this, the better it gets…..”…Starbucks cup….lol!!”
How could I have forgotten just how great this Chapter was :D
I am so enjoying my re-read on a cold rainy day in UK :)
Thanks BB :D
SassyGran, Thank you! This was a really fun and amusing to write to imagine how the group of friends ended up with Dana’s ashes in the first place. Dana’s family had been very protective and dismissive of Dana and her friends. And then to conceive of the scenario of them stealing Dana’s ashes from the stuffy “blind the obvious” church in the Republican stronghold of Orange County.
Another story that I had a blast writing was imagining was, Tomb Raider. Where would Bette go for baby kidnapping supplies when she spirited Angelica away from Shane’s botched wedding? Naturally, for the purposes of GIVING Bette a complete, “Fish Out of Water” moment I chose, WalMart. Bette Porter in a WalMart for the first time in her life and in the mood she was in amused me no end. I hope it did you, too.
It is there she finds her wonderful prop that repeats a few more times to great effect in my WeHo series, Bette’s Bowie Knife. That scary treacherous thing so matched her boiling mood at times that she had to bring it out again and again for all its menacing glory. I can’t remember all the times she flashed it for her satisfaction and mine but they were all great moments.
Thanks for reading! Thanks for commenting! And most of all – THANKS for enjoying yourself so thoroughly.
Blackbird