’They didn’t tell me anything.’ She was pale. ’But before the ambulance doors closed they told me everything is going to be ok.’

’Paramedics,’ I scoffed, ’What the fuck do they know? They’re a bunch of illiterate lightweights, even more incompetent than the doctors, they preferred to party or didn’t have enough IQ to finish medicine. So, they stuck to a college degree and do a few occasional side courses from time to time, which allow them to sit in the ambulance and play with the light switch and the siren. And to…’

’Hey.’ Tina placed her hands on my shoulders, urging me to look at her and not at the door. ’Calm down. Come, let’s sit. There’s coffee over there.’

I knew it would be, the brownish substance that was watery and too hot smelled like coffee beans, but had nothing to do with coffee. I had been here before. Months ago, when Tina had been behind those doors. The waiting, the doors opening and closing, no one who would tell a thing, the pointers of the clocked that had seemed to stand still. Back then Renee had been with me. Only the soft ticking of her heels on the linoleum floor had given away her worry. She had always been there for me, ever since she took me in her arms when I had arrived on Charles de Gaulle all these years ago.

***

’Mrs. Porter.’

Tina and I got up at the same time as Doctor Renault’s calm voice echoed through the hallway. The gap between his teeth showed as he smiled at Tina. On instinct my eyes narrowed. Tina placed a hand on my back. ’Doctor.’ She smiled. ’How is she?’

’I imagine you got a scare, but I can re-assure you, it’s just a pneumonia.’

A huge feeling of relief washed over me like a gentle wave. My tense muscles relaxed as I let out a deep sigh.

’She didn’t feel fit the last days. But other than that we didn’t notice anything.’ Tina said.

’That’s very much possible. With patients in this stage it’s sometimes hard to distinguish if the symptoms are caused by the illness or an infection.’ Doctor Renault explained. ’You reacted fast Mrs. Porter, that was important.’