I too like Lestat have found Miami to be my new home. And I too like Lestat have come to the idea that life wasn’t worth living anymore.

 I walked this city in haze. Wandering wondering about Carmen? Was she ok? Was she alive? Why did she quit the F.B.I.? Why has no one seen or heard from her? It was like she vanished off the face of the earth. I called and called and left message after message. Till one day a mean crisp voice warned me to never call again. Agent Morales was no longer Agent Morales. She quit and no one has heard from her.

So yeah I wanted to die. I saw no reason to go on with this. The fear of what might have happened to her was too much to deal with. Word out of California was that Havoc put a price on her head and mine. So maybe she quit her job and went to live a normal life somewhere away from all this shit. Or worse case scenario; Havoc caught up with her and she was dog food. Either way I was having a hard time dealing with it. The not knowing, the sleepless nights, the thing I am doing to deal with all of this…..  

It’s been 6 weeks since she shot me. My shoulder healed but my soul did not. When Dana kissed me 2 weeks ago. I let her. I know I shouldn’t have. I know. But I needed to feel something. Something other than what I was feeling.  We went out for dinner to a place Hemingway use to frequent. We ate good, really good better than I have eaten in a while.

I felt like an orphan around her. Sad, malnourished, no home.

It was well into our third bottle of wine when I notice that she is seducing me. With her eyes and her lips and her smile and how many and’s was that? Oh and her humor she made me laugh. I didn’t want to laugh but I did. We walked on the beach afterward. She asked me how I met Carmen. Did I want to remember? Sure I did. It was the most passionate thing I have ever done. So I told her. Then I remembered Mark and how everything was so smooth between us. And I close my eyes and hear the probable sound his skull made when the bullet passed through.