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    Can we get it back – Chapter 30

    Chapter 30

    The following night, Bette didn’t sleep at all. She kept thinking that everything she’s been through the last few months. She has survived, she’s gotten through it. But is this the thing that will break me? She asks herself. Is me losing my hair my breaking point?

    She looks over at Tina next to her sleeping, and then back up onto the ceiling. She feels Tina’s hand touching her shoulder. What Bette haven’t noticed is that Tina has woken up, and is now looking up at her. She slowly takes her hand away and push herself up a little and leans in towards Bette.

    “What’s up babe. Why are you awake?” Tina whispers as she snuggles in closer.

    “Just thinking. Sleep has not arrived at my doorstep yet.” Bette replies back.

    “Care to share?” Tina asks.

    Bette stays silent for a few more moments. Tina giving her that time to form her words.

    “I’ve been laying her and thought about the last few months, how I have gotten through it. You’ve been a huge part of that. But I’ve gotten through it, with my psyche fairly intact. But this” She starts pointing at her head. “Is this the thing that will break me?” Bette asks as she starts to cry.

    “Oh babe. This too will only make you stronger. It’s okay to feel a little down after such a big change. But this will also make you stronger. You will get something out of this also, and you’ll come through to the other side stronger. I know your hair is a big part of who you are, but it will grow back babe.” Tina says as she snuggles closer and leans in a place a soft kiss on Bette’s cheek. “I love you.” She adds in a whisper.

    They stay silent for a few minutes.

    “This was a heavy talk at…” Tina turns slightly to check the bedside clock. “4.30 in the morning.” She finishes with a little chuckle.

    “Yeah, sorry.” Bette replies.

    “Don’t be sorry babe, you are entitled to feel however you want or need. And I’m here to support you in any way I can.” She says.

    A few more silent moments between them until Bette speaks.

    “There is a few positive things though, from this.” She says and points to her head.

    Page 1 of 3123


    1. What a struggle for Bette as well as Tina. I know what it’s like for life to strip your from your life. I survived bankruptcy, suicide attempt and 3 simultaneous strokes by the age 44. Now, on disability, I feel lost. Having Tina by her side with give Bette the strength and desire to preserve. Support system is vital for a successful recovery.

    2. Bette’s response to Nurse Ellie was really a positive one. It shows that Bette has accepted her appearance and is moving forward. To me that is good. As to her response to Angie – that is not what Angie asked. Angie asked how did things go. She is aware that her Mama B was about to be bald. What Tina can respond is “Things went as expected…. hair is now gone… Mama B is sad about that… thanks for asking. Mama B & I love you…T.”

      The fact that Bette recognizes that this could be the crossroads as to how she comes out of this is something that is good. She now has to decide how she will fight for her recovery – morne the loss of her hair and reduce her energy level to fight this disease or accept it for what it is and concentrate on doing those things which will make her better – eating properly, getting rest, seeing friends from time to time who will lift her spirits and paying attention to Angie and Tina. She needs to allow herself to be joyful about surviving and having the family she has. She needs to find something in her life to be positive about and look forward to. Minimize the stress as best she can..

      Thanks for the chapter…..look forward to more

    3. Martha, I agree with most of your comment. Can I just throw it out there one more time as someone who has seen it firsthand – a wig made of Bette’s hair would help her immensely. Super big psychological lift. Bette is going to have some very down days and she deserves to cry. She also deserves to be angry. That’s a fact. And she might not want to be very social right now. This should not be forced on her. She needs Tina and Angie. These are her two lifelines. I think Angie should be much more of a presence. Walks in the hills? Talks about the future? Agree about the proper nutrition. Bette does yoga which is excellent. She is facing her mortality and needs to be free to say or talk about whatever she feels the need to say. Tina has been superb! Not pretending everything is okay is critical for Bette and will help her more than anything. Being free to candidly talk about her shitty experience is essential. With the continued presence and support of Tina and Angie she will feel their love and realize she has so very much to live for. For now – she sets the tone and it is her timetable.

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