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Chandelier – 42
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"I’m listening."
"The day Dana had heart complications? When she almost died?"
Bette nodded, indicating for her to go on.
"I was having lunch with Henry and his friends, really racking up the hetero points, and I had Angelica with me." Tina continued, hastily raking her fingers through her hair. "This couple — elderly, but not so much — came up to me and told me she was beautiful. And, great, I smiled, I said thank you, proud that other people could see that in her. She’s beautiful."
Bette smiled, seeing that familiar wistful gaze in Tina’s eyes, the look she would have when she discussed their daughter. Beautiful. That didn’t even come close to describing their perfect daughter.
"Then they said something, I can’t even remember what it was, just assuming she was adopted."
But it’s happened before. Bette wanted to protest, but had a sinking feeling that wasn’t Tina’s primary concern.
Tina looked at her. "I didn’t correct them. I didn’t launch into the litany of how she’s my child, how I gave birth to her."
Bette furrowed her brow, not quite understanding. "What?"
"I let them think she was adopted." Tina admitted, avoiding Bette’s gaze.
"Why…" Bette knew there was no good way to approach this question. "Why would you do that?"
"Because I’m a selfish asshole," Tina muttered.
Bette had to smile, despite her concerns. "Well, I know that, but…"
"Bette."
"I don’t know what to say."
Tina stepped back, nodding. "I know. I couldn’t figure it out, either. I mean, I go around, saying how she was my beacon, that she’s the single most important thing in my life, and I let these complete strangers think she isn’t mine."
Bette gazed at Tina, sensing what was left unsaid, having a feeling Henry had something to do with it. "Tell me."
Tina looked at her. "Henry talked to me, after. Telling me how he wasn’t making any judments on how I’ve lived my life, what I’ve done in the past. And that’s when I realized, I don’t want this. The accepted normal family, the straight girl fantasy of husband, wife and kids… I wanted something more, especially for Angelica. I wanted to make it up to her. And I realized, then and there, Angelica needed you in her life. Whether or not we’re together, she would need you, in ways she would never need me. I could give her everything, leave her wanting nothing, but she’ll still need you."
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Always amazing to see Tina DEAL with something. Could this be reason to hope?
Love the way you are writing this story. Confronting the demons of the past to move forward. Thanks for this story.
I bow down to your glorious writing, TD. Today, I read this article about Uma Thurman and here’s what she said about love and relationships. It gave me hope for our gals. Yeah, I know they are fictional. Uma said,”You need to want to be forgiving. If you love the person then you’ll forgive the unforgivable.” It can be both good and bad but in B & T’s case, I wish to believe it is good. Now, I am going to reread this chapter.
Uma Thurman is being quoted a lot. If only IC would see it the way. thanks
I sense that the next chapter will have the end of this conversation as it ended somewhat abruptly. I wonder if that Uma Thurman quote can go along with: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Still trying to figure out what the writer of “Love Story” was smoking when that line was born as I don’t get it at all.
Will you just kidnap Bette, Tina and Angelica and never return them to you know who. You have taken a very difficult time in B&T’s life and helped them look into their reasons for fucking everything up. All these reasons that both B&T have stated are so true to their character. What is nice about this story is that they are actually communicating and showing each other that they do love one another and want desperately to have the family that they once dreamed about. No matter how much what they are saying is hurting the other at least now all that pain has been put on the table per se. Keep bringing us this love stroy.
amazing writting as usual, i love how B&T continue figthing for each other and to keep their relationship! this is a good way to fix things: Talking!
i love youe explanations of tina’s behavior because it was never explained on the show…the hope is there, especially because word LOVE was mentioned so often..i love the way you deal with this mess…just perfect, thank you
Wonderful chapter – I especially love how Tina had one intention but the old patterns just well up and rule the day sometimes – I love how you kept them working at it with both of them showing their true willingness to get through these tough topics. Very well written and so powerfully honest about how couples do their dance. Regarding Tina coming clean on not standing up as Angelica’s mother – this is important this couple needs to deal with this for Angelica’s sake and I think Tina needs Bette;s help to understand her feelings and reactions. Makes me wonder if Bette’s mother also thought she couldn’t be there for her biracial child. Obviously how you wrote this got me thinking and that speaks to the elegance and thoughtfulness of your storytelling abilities. Thanks so much.
well gosh. you didn’t have to put it in bold. and i DID put the ‘now’ on the end. i swear i did. snarky snarky. *grin* p.s. great update. *generic but apt compliment*
Wow this is amazing and hope this is help them to work thing out. Ok post soon please, thanks!
Thanks for another wonderfully insightful chapter! “There’s something about that time, the events… It wasn’t all you, B. You weren’t the only one who fucked up. I get that now.” So glad that they could communicate openly without anyone becoming defensive again! And I’m hoping that this is the foundation that they are re-laying to begin their journey anew!
love how they are talking, fighting and just plain working it out.
love the Snow Patrol song. i remember thinking of B&T when listening to it. thanks tiff, for giving a voice to Tina in your stories. and also for making these two talk. another great update :)
If they broke up (god forbidden), it’s harder for Bette to move on. But once did, Bette would live much more happier than Tina.
i love this story…this is one of the stories i have to look for on a daily basis to see if it is updated….so please update soon!
Excellent writing as always.
Thank you Tiff for another wonderful update – now are they going to walk along the beach and chase away the ghosts of decisions past made there – make new memories. memorable memories?
Love the way they are talking things through, look forward kissing and making up
I can’t wait to see them happy again with Angelica having forgetting this chaotic time of their lives and moving forward to a smooth loving future…
Tiff, great chapter, as usual. I liked how Tina was able to explain that she was trying to apologize, then up came the defenses and ruined everything. Hopefully, they learned something from this!
Gosh, I am glad to read that someone else saw how “AWFUL” it was that Tina did correct the couple when they assumed that “A” was adopted. I was watching that ep the other day. That’s why I was rooting for Bette for soul custody.
Thanks Tiff!
Forward this story to IC maybe she can use it to redeem Tina and put them together again. I don’t think she can or will do it on her own
Having a mother who denies you, that’s what is ‘a lot to put on one child’. Tina is fulfilling her own prediction from S1. Thank goodness Angelica was too young to understand the situation. Bette’s decision to go for sole custody was based on her intuition. I remember that Bette caught flack on almost all of the boards for worrying about Tina wanting men in S1. Seems she was very perceptive about Tina, all the way around. Vitriol, thy name is TG! Goodnight!
When you are the ‘mainstream’ person in an interracial relationship there’s always the option to hang back and say nothing when the slurs come along. I judge my friends on their willingness to speak truth in those situations. Based on what went down at that restaurant, Tina couldn’t be my friend. …There, I said it. …Bette should think about this. This is the second time Tina has done the crawdad backstep on the race issue. Angelica deserves better. Well, at least she’s admitting what a coward she is. Admitting is the first step! Thanks for filling the gaps!
“Oprah be getting people to tell EVERYTHING. ” ….Except for GAYYYle! …O don’t tell her own bizness, does she?
Bette had a good point Tina can’t keep bringing up the affair whenever they have an argument. I mean tina was with Helena and rubbed Bette’s face in that, and I do believe Helena got Bette fired from her job. Tina online with Daddy whoever then she tried to get with Josh then she got with Henry in their bedroom, then she took Angelica away. Tina got a whole freakin laundry list of wrongs, but Bette isn’t constantly bringing those up she needs to take a lesson from Bette. I saw Uma on Oprah awhile back and she was hurting I hope she finds happiness…she sounds like she was the wronged party. Oprah be getting people to tell EVERYTHING.
TD, ANother wonderful and charming piece of emotive writing. Amazing how the simple act of holding someone and refusing to let them go can provide such strength and protection. Bette’s humble hug allowed Tina to reveal the deepest and darkest secret in her heart: the denial of her daughter to strangers. This was a truly heartfelt moment as these two individuals melded into one soul. It showed how important communication in a safe and supportive envoronment is. This also gives all of us hope that Bette and Tina can put the past behind them and move on together and unite again. Please post more soon as this was a real delight. Thank you for this marvelous words and magical story telling. Your Loyal Fan.
You’re a brilliant writer. You’re the only writer here I’ve read all ff for. You’re probably even published.
I think perhaps the part you write about Tina feeling bad about people saying Angie is adopted when actually she “is Angies mom” implies that Bette is not actually Angies mom because Better adopted here. Very slippery.
Anyway, like I said you’re a great writer and I wish you could write post S2 of GenQ :)
Ahhh I’m so happy there are so many chapters to this fic so grateful for you