Fan Fiction
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Chandelier – 44
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"Figure what?" Bette was fixated on Tina’s hands, still moving, never staying still.
"I was failing. I was a failure, and if you figured that out you wouldn’t love me anymore."
Bette paused, and looked up. "What?"
"What, what?"
"You thought I wouldn’t love you if you failed?"
"I don’t know," Tina said weakly. "I guess so. But that’s not even completely true, but it’s there."
Bette stared at Tina for a beat, letting the words sink in. Then she felt a small smile gracing her lips, despite herself, finding amusement even as she found this confession ironic.
Tina looked at her questioningly. "What?"
"Let me go on record saying that that’s the exact same thing I was thinking during Provocations."
"What?"
"Feelings of detachment, fear of failure, looking for any other feeling than my partner’s disapproval?" Bette enumerated, giving Tina a wry smile. "Sound familiar?"
Tina looked at her, then smiled faintly. "We are idiots."
"Apparently," Bette agreed.
"We could’ve avoided all this if we’d talked to each other?"
"Except for the part where you wanted to sleep with men."
"Which could’ve been avoided if you’d asked me why."
"You still would’ve wanted to be with men."
"But I might have stopped at the chatrooms," Tina pointed out. "And we’re back to the part where I apologize like crazy."
"I don’t know," Bette shrugged, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Tina’s ear. "Tee?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you still want to sleep with men?"
"Not really," Tina admitted. "Okay, I admit, it’s nice, in a really adolescent movie-burger-backseat way. But when I think about it I’d really rather be seduced and pushed to the edge than some perfunctory jackrabbit sex."
"That’s a remarkably eloquent way of saying your boyfriends didn’t know how to get you off," Bette noted.
Tina sighed, and glanced away. "I’m not sure how safe it is for us to talk about these things."
Bette studied Tina’s profile. "I’m not going anywhere."
Tina glanced at her. "Tell me one thing."
"Yes?"
"Was she better?"
"Was he?"
"He was different."
"So was she."
Tina again looked away. "Why her?"
"She was there, she was attracted to me. She wanted me in a way I thought you didn’t anymore."
"So we did it for the same reasons."
"I never stopped wanting you."
"You looked somewhere else."
"So did you."
"How spectacularly do we fuck up," Tina noted, glancing up at the sky.
"About as spectacularly as we make up?" Bette offered hopefully.
Tina looked at her for a moment, studying her lover. The dark hair, the caramel skin, the eyes that told her everything she needed to know.
She remembered earlier, in the car, when Bette had suggested going to their house, to deal with what had happened there:
T?
Yeah?
It can’t get worse, can it?
Judging from the lack of clothes, I certainly hope not.
Come to the house with me.
Bette–
We should finish what we’ve started.
The brief pause, before Tina had nodded.
You’ll be with me, right?
Always.
Okay.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay. And, T?
Yeah?
I hate to admit it, but this mom machine shows signs of being better than the Saab, or even the Aston.
The smile, then came Tina’s answer: We’re just going to have to make sure Angelica never finds out what this car’s seen when she’s not around.
Tina stood up, taking Bette’s hand. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" Bette asked, following Tina into the house.
"You’re going to show me the bedroom."
"There’s some really bad memories in there." Bette reminded.
"Then we’re just going to make us some really good new ones." Tina replied.
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Yay! I’m first! Great chapter, tiff. I absolutely love the way you let the characters discuss their problems, and I certainly wish we could see that type of interaction on the show!
First, I’m honored that a goofy little story I wrote was referenced. *blushes* Tina was right. They are both idiots, but perhaps now they can be recovering idiots. Two MILFs and an SUV. Sounds like a nice ride.
i love your dialogue. yes bette and tina are idiots for fucking up their relationship so royally!
Love your story. Looking forward to the next chapter.
“We could’ve avoided all this if we’d talked to each other?….duh!…lol great chapter…can’t wait for Bette to show Tina the bedroom.
They’re making progress. They deserve a little break.
tiff….you’re simply the best at writing dialogue, having emotions and thoughts come through in dialogue. You just have this knack/talent for getting into their heads and expressing such realistic ideas. Every chapter is out of the park. Yiur story is so complex and interesting.
How great that these two are finally talking about their mistakes and actually listening to each other. This story is how the communication should have gone, instead of IC making them act like idiots. Thank you for trying to fix them. First communication now to see the bedroom..hmmm..I know talking is great, but action is better. Right, Tiff_Duke?
Maybe now they can start stepping forward and when they do fall back it is only a couple of steps and not falling all the way down the stair case. Maybe now the idoitness is behind them and only shows up occasionally. Yes go make some brand spanking new memories.
THANK THE GODS THERE MAKING PROGESS. PLEASE POST SOON LADY
Loved these lines:…Bette looked at her, before sighing and turning back towards the pool. “Sometimes I wish I didn’t love you the way I do.”Bette glanced at her. “It’s too easy for you to hurt me. Sometimes it gets too much for me to deal with.” …It gets to the heart of things, the heart of Bette which she so rarely shows. She IS vulnerable and sensitive. Loved it! Thanks!
i loved they way they talk to each other and the way they make up…will you write about their new memories so we know about them too?
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
Please, please, PLEASE show us them making new memories in their room. Wonderful as always.
Excellent post TD. You’re too good!
tiff, you are the first last and everything of B&T writing!
Great stuff – loved the ending.
Good chapter. Glad they talk more and work thing out!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, when I finish reading one of your chapters, I think “How is she ever going to top that one?” And, you always do. These two have been navigating through some raging waters and just when I think someone is going to drown, a hand is offered to lead the other to safety. And, apparently for a tumble in anything that has wheels. It really is quite touching to see their love continuing to bubble up as they push through their own and each other’s transgressions. It is fascinating to see their love and commitment wrestle with the demons of their past, especially the way that your write it. The dialog is so articulate and thoughtful. Plus, we get a song to match. That is a whole other superpower! Okay, I was sorting through my mountain of music and rediscovered an old favorite of mine, Love Me Still by Chaka Khan. It is pretty and mushy, but as far as I am concerned, you can never have too much of that.
This was better than good it was fantastic, you are one hell of a writer. Thanks Tiff.
loved the chapter and can’t wait for the bedroom….post soon
Tiff….again you’ve made me speechless.
i’ve come to the conclusion that you should write scripts, not stories. mainly because your stories are basically scripts, only without the annoying…script qualities. of course, if it is a script, and written as a script should be, it’s not so annoying. you’re a dialogue whore, and a damn good one at that. it’s realistic, true to the characters, and it’s not choppy in any way. you make it where the dialogue describes the characters, and that, dear acquaintance, is something not a lot of people can do. believe me, there are about a million stories out there that prove just what i said. so please, continue with your script/story. scriptory. is that already a word?
This is such a beautiful story. I like the way they talk and find out similarities between them. Wonderful :-)
Wow…what a great chapter. I hope that they can get through the memories in the bedroom!
TD, Finally looks like these gals are getting some closure and more important admitting to their failures and forgiving themselves for their transgressions. I admire the honesty of your words and perfect dialogue. You always embody the simplest of scene with such a wallop of emotions. Please let these gals chase away the demons of their past and welcome the joys of their future. Brava! And much gratitude for this fabulous fan fiction. Your Loyal Fan.
your dialogues are terrific! see if they talk they can find out wath happen and how they will make differents somethings. I like the tina’s tought: make new memories! excellent girl
I just read the last 3 chapter, and the only thought I’m left with is: Why the hell am I still a Tibetter? Damn JB and LH for having such great chemsitry..
your dialogue is awesome – thank you for walking this couple through the conversation they’ve needed forever. Exquiste writing.