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Chapter 10 – Step by step
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”I get that it is unpleasant when a close person begins to distance themselves and deceive. ”
Bette paused for a moment, then looked at Angie and continued talking.
”Sweetheart, I know you’re interested in spending time with your college friends. It’s fun, cool, and emotional, but I’m asking you to be careful. People are different and all have different habits, Hobbies and principles. I don’t want to lecture you, because you know all this. You’re a smart girl, and I want your brain to stay active at some point. And he can switch off from alcohol or drugs, you know? This is the dark side and it quickly drags you in. Before you know it, you might get into trouble and be in danger. You know what I’m saying?”
Angie nodded
”I want you to know that I and your mom are always on your side. No matter what happens, we will always protect you and help you in everything. But the main thing is that you don’t shut yourself in, okay? I always want to talk to you, hear the stories that happen in your life, give you advice or ask you for advice. It hurts when I see that you have problems, but I can’t talk to you about it. And baby… if someone insults you, forces you to do something you don’t want to do, or tries to manipulate you… you know that’s not normal. And you can always tell me if there’s something you’re afraid of or worried about. ”
”I love you too, mom. Thank you for protecting me in any situation, but I have to tell you that this protection is not always good. I’m not angry because I want to distance myself from you, but because I just don’t understand you. I mean, when aunt Kit died and you and mom got divorced, you were heartbroken, but you pretended everything was fine. Yes, you tried to get through this time as best you could. Yes, most people should not know your feelings and grief. But you shut me out, too. I’ve seen you cry softly when you thought I couldn’t see, and as soon as I showed up, you’d brush away a tear and put on a smile. It shouldn’t be like this. If you want us to be intimate and honest, you don’t have to ask me to do it. This should work both ways. Or any of the parties. I was really bad, too, and if you had opened up to me at that time, we could have gotten through everything that was going on together. Instead, you lied to me about how you felt, put on a smile, and barely spoke to me. That’s the problem. For some reason, this resentment is coming out of me right now. Either because you more or less came to your senses and my brain allowed me to resent you, or because Tee came for a long time and reminded me of the time when she wasn’t here… I do not know. But now you know what I’m thinking and what’s bothering me. One of the reasons.”
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Bette and Tina make a good parenting team. They did the right thing going to the party and bringing Angie home. Angie is still a child and does not need to be at a party partaking of drugs and alcohol. There can be nothing but trouble at such an event. Drugs and alcohol are responsible for a lot of teenage pregnancies as well as destructive or addictive behavior. It was also a good idea to take all her communications devices away from her until they reach an understanding of what is happening with Angie and to re-establish the boundaries of acceptable behavior which is expected of Angie. Angie needs to understand the dangers she its putting herself into with this drinking and drug use. And Angie sneaking out of the house and going to a party when she has been prohibited from engaging in social activities needs to be addressed. I do not have children, but my suggestion is lengthening the time in which she does not have access or at least controlled access to her cell phone and other communication devices. Perhaps asking her to get involved in some community service project which deals with people who have alcohol or drug addiction problems. Angie needs to see the results of substance abuse when it goes unchecked without experiencing the problem personally. A night of vomiting with your mom holding your hair out of the way and wiping the sweat away with a damp washcloth is not going to be available forever. Then what? It’s a part of becoming an adult…being responsible for your own decisions and the results of those decisions. And Angie needs to see that even though she wants to be an adult, she is no where near showing that she is willing to assume the responsibility of being an adult.
Going to the house on the lake for a few days as a family was brilliant on Bette’s part. Deciding to stop their love making was also a wise decision by both Bette and Tina. They truly need to have a conversation as to where this is all going before they start down that road. Temporary physical satisfaction is highly tempting and definitely hard to resist. But, having an understanding as to the intents of both parties, particularly given their history is a wise decision for both of them. And they need to inform Angie as much as possible as to what their intents and what the status is as they go. Withholding information from Angie on Bette and Tina’s relationship and intents will only cause hard feelings and distrust from Angie. As Angie said – she has felt left out in the past. Do not make that mistake with the current situation nor their intents for the future. Treat Angie as a party to the process – for she absolute is a huge part of both Tina and Bette’s life.
Thanks for this chapter….. I feeling good about this story… love to see more.
Agree. As the mother of a son I will say that the teenage rebellious moment is so challenging. Angie has some deep seeded hurt that her moms need to help her work through. She has to be their focus right now and seems to definitely have their attention. Bette’s notion to change the environment was excellent. Bette giving up a few days of important work is even more so. Hope Eddie takes a hike but he seems like an Eric type who will enjoy tormenting Angie about her moms and especially Bette. Do so at your own peril Eddie.I like this story as well.
I think many parents of teenagers reading this chapter will find Angie’s behavior somewhat familiar… Thanks for your comment, Billy! ❤️
Martha, I agree that children are always participants in the processes that occur in the family, but they are not always able to understand the motives and desires of their parents. Unfortunately, parents also make mistakes and sometimes do not know which way to move and whether it is right. It’s absolutely true that Bette and Tina should be honest with Angie, but it’s important to find a middle ground so that you don’t say too much and get your hopes up. Well, I think so. It’s always difficult. Thank you for reading and as always very interesting comment.
Ada
Lovely lovely chapter.
Bette’s need to be close to Tine while feeling the stress of Angie’s behavior was so tender and sweet and Tina’s awareness to halt their physical actions completely understandable. The focus is on Angie as it should be. Angie could get in over her head very quickly. Eric sounds like he enjoys the chase and will introduce her to all sorts of things she is not ready for. Making pillows to look like she was sleeping – oldest trick in the book – and good detective work on the mamas to find her. Funny how teens always think they are clever. Angie may need some counseling and strict restrictions on her phone, laptop and free time.
The trip away was an excellent idea and already yielded results the first night they were there. They will come back stronger I hope.
Sweet story Ada, thank you for writing
BK
Agree. Dealing with Angie is bringing Bette and Tina closer together. Angie loves having her moms together. Even if she is hard on both of them. This trip is good for all of them. Tough love time Angie – you cannot lie to your parents. And Eddie is definitely BAD news. Bette is my warrior.
I agree Angie will be one of the best ways for Tibette to come together. Putting their issues aside to focus on a common concern will break barriers. This is very realistic response that a kid would have when there is disruption, confusion and inconsistency. Kids see more then parents would like and emotionally respond in ways that are complicated for parents.
K
Yes, for some reason, not only do teenagers think their parents are stupid, but parents often think that their children do not notice anything… this, of course, is not the case. Thanks, K!
I’m so looking forward to you releasing some new story!
Teenagers very often consider their parents fools who do not understand anything :) this is an interesting thought process in the minds of young people. Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. It means a lot to me. Thanks BK!
So true!!! Lovely to come out the other side.
Are you uploading fanfic with no problem? Everything is going smoothly?
I think Collins was having some trouble, but it looks like her story is there now. I am waiting to make sure it all works :) Thank you for everything you do to keep this site up and running. It is tireless, thankless work.
This should be resolved. Thank you!
Yes, the story was uploaded without a single problem. Everything works well for me. Thank you for this