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Chapter 12 – Progress
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”Oh, that’s very kind of her. Give her a big thank you through Natalie”
Tina said, looking at the hand-drawn label on the bottle. Bette winked at her daughter, and Angie grinned and nodded.
Angie asked how Bette and Tina had spent the past few days, and then they agreed to watch a movie together that night.
______________________
”Ange, get some water, please!”
Tina shouted to her daughter, who was still in the kitchen, sitting down on the sofa in front of the TV.
Bette looked at Tina and smiled a little.
” The ”Green book” is a good movie. Your success”
”Not just mine. It was an incredible international team.”
Angie came back into the room and sat down between the moms, resting her head on Bette’s shoulder.
”Yeah, we’re proud of you, mom!”
Tina ruffled her daughter’s hair a little, stroking her head and they were finally ready for viewing.
2 hours later, Angie was watching the movie alone, because both of her moms had been asleep for about half an hour. Bette was lying on her right side, leaning on the armrest and resting her head on the sofa cushion, and Tina was dozing very comfortably on Angie’s shoulder.
”That’s the kind of movie fans we are”
Angie said to herself and tried to stand up carefully. Tina woke up from the movement of her daughter and looked at her, squinting in the lamplight.
”What time is it?”
Tina said, her voice hoarse from sleep. Her head wasn’t quite working right now, because sleep had consumed her for the past half hour, and it was a pretty well-dressed day at work.
”Almost 12 am. I’ll take the dishes to the kitchen”
”Yeah, please, sweetheart”
As soon as Angie picked up a few mugs and a plate and went into the kitchen, Tina closed her eyes and crawled over to Bette, spooning in with her. Bette had instinctively put her arm around Tina’s waist and now they were sleeping on the couch, their arms wrapped around each other.
Angie returned to the room a few minutes later and smiled sweetly when she saw her parents sleeping on the couch. She was surprised that they slept together when she was at home, because they had tried so hard to hide it before. She knew they must have fallen asleep so accidentally today, but it still made her happy. They became less secretive.
”You’ll both have sore necks tomorrow, but good night”
She said in a whisper as she covered them with a blanket, turned off the lamp, and went to her room.
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So the reason for the split was a gradual drifting apart? That seems reasonable. And Bette blames herself for 80% of this drifting? Okay… and Bette is scared that she will repeat this sometime in the future and will lose Tina again. But what they both agree on is that they are much happier together than they ever can be apart so they agree to try and reconcile their relationship? Well, I think this was a good talk and a good beginning. I really think they need to delve into the specifics more so they are both aware of the effects their behavior had on the other. They need to be able to recognize the signs that things are deteriorating and sooner rather than later. It’s to easy to fall back into old habits and relationships and get the same results. Both will have to make some changes to be sure that problems are addressed as they happen and not allow to sit an marinate and cause resentment and hard feelings. It will take effort on both of their parts to make it work. Communication is the key and on a constant and consistent basis. The solutions may not be satisfactory for both parties, but at least identifying the problem will go a long way toward a mutually agreed upon solution. Knowing they love each other and that they can share their thoughts with each other without being judgemental helps tremendously.
Thank you for this lovely chapter…. cannot wait to read more.
Agree, Martha. Well said. Important to recognize that both caused any drifting. I seriously doubt Bette is 80 percent responsible and it is dangerous for her to think that. This is the ghost of Melvin Porter once again. Bette should not take on a majority of that burden. Plus it is a very odd calculation. Based upon what exactly? Communication is more essential than ever. Both need to own their patterns of behavior and work together towards the end result they both want. Not a time for Tina to let Bette be scared and feel guilty. Own your letter Tina. Let’s not muddy the waters now. Work the issues together.
It’s just a lack of communication between them at the time when they were going to get divorced. None of them are guilty to a greater or lesser extent, and it hardly makes sense to measure who is more at fault. But Bette’s character is such that she either feels absolutely right, or believes that she destroyed everything herself. No half measures. Emotional lady. But that’s what makes it interesting, I think :)
And you’re right that Tina should pay attention to Bette’s desperate self-blame.
Thanks for the reply. That is our Bette and yes Tina needs to pay attention. Now the hard work begins.
I echo Billy’s great comment – especially the ‘own your letter’ Tina., work the issues together. There is so much more to unwrap. This relationship is like an onion, layer after layer that makes you cry as you peel. This chapter is an EXCELLENT start to talking, owning their share and supporting each other through each layer. Looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks, ADA
You are as always incredible in metaphors, BK. Thank you for reading.
You’re so right, Martha. It’s so hard to start a relationship over, remembering everything that happened before. It is difficult to retrain yourself in something, not to make the same mistakes. Added to this is the fear that you will do something wrong and everything will collapse again. So it’s a long way with a lot of “traps” and “secret doors”.
Thank you for your detailed comment.
Hmm, i must say i disagree with Bette about her though that divorce was necessary – i think it was worst thing that happen with them. Why? Because it you can’t resolve your problems in marriage what a chance that you can resolve them after divorce? I think very and very small.
In reality that’s why relationship practically never work in second try.
It seems to me that sometimes to solve problems, you need to look at the situation from the other side. In their case, from divorced people who don’t live together. Sure, divorce is a hard and painful thing, but sometimes it also starts to be a catalyst for resuming a stronger, more thoughtful relationship. Of course, none of them were happy after the divorce, but he played an important role in making everyone understand something for themselves. It’s not typical, but it happens…
Hey Ada,
Engaging chapter.
Liked them working on their issues & owning their responsibilities in their relationship. & taking the steps to avoid the pitfalls this time around.
Thanks for the update!!!
Collins
Hi! I’m glad you took the time to read this chapter. I’m waiting for the moment when I can read your latest update – it’s difficult because we both write about gq. And I love your story so much, it’s so multi-faceted!
Thank you for your comment, Collins.
Hey Ada,
Always have time to read new chapters. As your fellow author, I want to support everyone as well.
Again, terrific chapter & thanks for giving us another view of Tibette.
Take care.
Collins
A
Love how Angie knows about what is going on between her parents, but is old enough to understand the need to let it happen at its own pace.
There are so many different approaches to explaining the end of a long term relationship. I love how you have captured the differing perspectives, yet being able to have each character see the others point of view. Communication is at the foundation of any reconciliation.
Love how this is unfolding.
K
Thank you very much! I’m happy when I see your comments. The process of connecting after a divorce is really an important part of the family experience and communication is the key to love without pain.