“That’s just on paper. What is your relationship with her now?”

“We ended things amicably. We still have to work together. We both have a vested interest in the center.”

“So you’re in the ominous ‘let’s just be friends’ stage?”

“I wouldn’t say friends but I think we have closure. At least we can be civil to each other.”

“So tomorrow if you were to walk into a party and see her across the room with Henry you wouldn’t feel anything?”

“I don’t know. I think I’d feel worse that I’m alone when she already has a new family.”

“This is not a competition Bette. Tina may appear to have recreated the intimacy of a marriage relationship with Henry; portraying the happy family with his son Mikey but I’m betting that she’s not giving herself fully to it. It’s very likely that as much as she thinks this is what she wants she’ll still compare what she has with him with what she had with you. She’ll find him lacking in some aspects that have nothing to do with gender or sexuality. She’ll look at Mikey and wonder what it would have been like to have children with you. What typically happens in rebound relationships like this is that he will sense that she’s withholding of herself. His defenses will be up and by doing so keep himself from giving fully to it because he feels the need to protect his heart. Every situation is different, and I’m not claiming to know all the intimate details of Tina and Henry’s relationship but I’ve seen this pattern of behavior dozens of times in my practice.”

“So you think that would happen with us; that I wouldn’t give fully? That you would hold back to protect your heart from me?”

“I know it as a fact, at least where I’m concerned. I’m already finding myself in that position.”

“What do I do with this feeling of loneliness Emma?” Bette asked as she considered Emma’s assessment.

In many of their conversations Emma found herself conflicted between being a friend and acting as a therapist. She’d counseled many people in these situations and had experienced much of it herself in personal relationships.

“For a time you will feel like a part of you is missing. The temptation is to fill the void with another person or a new relationship but you need to fill this void for yourself Bette. The work at the CAC; the Allyn Barnes Retrospective; volunteering at the center and going away to the art camp; spending time with Alyson, Marcus, and Francesca all these involvements show your ability to cope. You’re growing stronger and more confident every day. You’re not as fragile as you think you are. You will recover from this. You have the steadfast support of Kit, Angus, Alice, Dana, Shane, Michael, James and me. From what you’ve told me about Peggy Peabody I don’t doubt she’d be back here in no time if you ever expressed the need.