Taking up golf which I must say you’re a natural, learning how to cook; picking up photography as a serious hobby again; opening up to me; all these things will help you to feel whole again. This time alone is needed to rediscover Bette Porter. It’s helping you to know yourself again and be comfortable with who you are as an individual instead of just part of a couple. You’ve expressed to me that sometimes you felt like you had to change who you were to be with Tina; maybe it’s time to get back to being that person and living your own life.”

“I don’t know how to do that. I had so many life dreams that have just come to an abrupt end with this break-up.”

“Bette your dreams don’t have to end because you’re divorced.”

“Many of those dreams involved a partner.”

“Give me one example?’

“I dreamt of having a family. I want to have children.”

“So what’s stopping you?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“The only thing that is obvious to me is that you are a woman of child bearing years that wants children. So I question again what is stopping you from fulfilling that dream?”

“Ideally I’d want my children to grow up in a household with two parents.”

“That would be ideal but what if the other parent didn’t share your core values and beliefs? What if the other parent rejected the idea of raising children that looked like you? How would you feel if Tina had agreed to use Marcus as the donor then started having the doubts she expressed to you about the ‘otherness’ of bringing a biracial child into a lesbian marriage after she’d conceived?”

“She didn’t agree. That’s why we decided we weren’t ready to have children together.” The thought of Tina’s rejection still hurt to the core. It helped that Bette could talk to Emma as she had already revealed many intimate aspects of her relationship with Tina in the past two years.

“OK but for argument’s sake let’s say she suppressed these feelings and doubts because she wanted to make you happy. Let’s say you didn’t break-up and she agreed to use a Black donor. She has the baby and six months later her feelings for men emerges. She changes her mind about you being the second parent. She decides instead that she wants her baby to be raised in a traditional family with a mommy and a daddy. She leaves you to be with Henry and Mikey. She takes the baby that you and she dreamed up together away from you to form her new family. She can do this legally without any repercussions because you’d have no biological or legal right to stop her.”