Tina:  Yes, I have. It’s really a comfortable bedroom. It arranged well and has everything she needs except a kitchen. And she seems to love that room. She loves being with people, but she loves the moments of solitude as well. And she told me that possibly for the first time in her life, she really feels loved and cared for.

Bette: What about her husband? Did he not make her feel loved and cared for?

Tina:  Oh, I think he loved her a lot. But he needed her care and she was the one who provided the safety and stability.  And when he died, she just continued that role with her sister. It was her job to be the provider and keep the family safe. She loved him dearly, but sometimes people are just that way. They have a tendency to pick women who will take care of them, you know, somewhat similar to the way their moms took care of them. Only with sex as an added benefit.

Bette: I never thought about that. I can see that with some men I’ve have known over the years. And I have known some women who were looking for that very role in their marriage. And when those two types get together, they are happy as clams. Nothing could break them apart.

Tina: And then there are those who want something else in their relationship like you and me.

Bette:  And what is it that we desire in our relationship?

Tina:  I want and I am almost 99 percent sure that you want an equal partnership. A relationship in which we contribute to the best of our ability the funds needed to live our life, that we carry the burden of problem solving and child raising on an equal basis, that we provide each other the support and safe harbor on an equal basis on an as needed basis. We share the work; we share the responsibilities and we share the rewards of the relationship. Neither of us is the leader and neither is the follower. Or in the case where we are the leader or the follower, that is not a permanent situation. We ebb and flow with each other’s needs and desires. And therefore, we live in balance and harmony.