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Chapter 7
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Bette had told her to explore her feelings to find out what this was about. She had to know and frankly she owed it to Bette also. Bette didn’t tell her to sleep with a man. She’d suggested counseling and working together to save their marriage but in Tina’s mind she knew that wouldn’t work for her. She wasn’t committed to working it out and it wasn’t fair to Bette to give her false hope that they could. Even though she loved Bette she wasn’t in love any longer and it would take all her resolve to stay in an unhappy union. Maybe her “feelings for men” surfacing was her subconscious way to leave the marriage without the guilt. After all it wasn’t her fault if she couldn’t help or control these feelings right?
***
“Henry?”
“Yes. Henry Young. He’s a lawyer that does pro bono work for the center? We’ve been seeing each other socially.”
“You haven’t slept with him?”
“No.”
“But you want to?”
“I think so. Yes.”
Alice and Tina were having a private conversation as they sat waiting for Kit’s show to start. They were at a local club to do the live recordings for the CD. Their conversation was interrupted when the lights dimmed and the band Betty appeared on the stage. At first Nona Hendrix and Kit Porter could be heard but not seen. They’re beautiful strong voices alternated each verse as they did the intro to the song Transformation. Nona started out …
Sisters!
From one sister to another funky sister
It’s all about transformation
It’s all about change
Kit
It’s one thing a woman knows about
Constant
Change is the only constant
Nona
We bleed and don’t die
We sweat when it’s minus fifty outside
We fight in the battles side by side
Kit
It’s a sister thing
It’s a W-O-M-A-N thing
And we’re coming together
We’re pulling ourselves together
Kit and Nona walk on stage from opposite ends saying these lines together
Sisters!
It’s all about transformation
The Betty band joined in and sang the lyrics. The audience is encouraged to make noise and applaud loudly for the CD. Tina, Alice, Dana, Jenny, Marina, James, Lisa, Michael, Shane and several of Kit and Angus’ friends are all in the front VIP section making the loudest noise. Angus is backstage waiting for his turn to do “Bareback;” a sexy duet that he’d written for him and Kit.
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Tina heart is breaking in Bette, band and all … please readers have to switch to a better future with tibette, more love! Less suffering ..your stories are too sad, do better
pikiangelica. Thank you for reading and commenting. I know my story is very painful, and sad. They are both suffering. I wish I could change the future and make it better but they both need to want it, and as you can see neither is willing to put in the work or to fight for the relationship. They have given up, so all I can do is help them to find happiness elsewhere.
Hi Bat, I read your notes, this story though very well written; it is still very painful, you are right, they can’t go back together after all this mess. Evidently Tina has doubts about her sexuality, and that happened since her pregnancy problems, when some guy suggested that she have to conceive in a heterosexual way. As Tina couldn’t get her answers with one night-stand with Josh because it didn’t materialize, now she would try a more serious relationship with a guy and see if that gives her a response to her doubts; if she is not totally clear about her sexuality she can’t go back to women; she has to compare and decide where she belongs. Bette, as well, can’t wait forever, she has to move on; and Kit is right, Tina can’t go everywhere breaking hearts. It would be interesting to examine what is behind of the psychological and sociological Tina’s and Bette’s behaviors in all these chapters; personally, I think someone has a guilt complex. Thanks for this very nice and painful chapter, I want to see where are you taking us and I want to understand the “whys” and “hows” in this relationship of my favorite couple, I’ll wait eagerly for a new update
proteonomics, I’m glad you are sticking with the story as I really enjoy reading your comments and insights. I wrote this story about six years ago and haven’t read it since so each chapter is new to me as i’m re-posting. I don’t recall how much analysis is revealed about their relationship but in any case it’s all just made up stuff from my perspective as I don’t have any type of psychological or sociological knowledge, studies, or background. I just felt that this is a very dysfunctional relationship and there is just so much pain and suffering that one can endure before they have to say enough and walk away. Bette gave Tina an ultimatum and I don’t think that was the way to handle Tina’s revelation about her feelings for men. I think I do address that in one of their conversations later in the story. The way this story is written much of the burden of the relationship going bad is on Tina but Bette is not blameless. I wanted to write this story because I felt that on the LWord show Bette’s affair overshadowed all the cruelty, pain, hurt and suffering that Tina inflicted in Season2/3 and yes, guilt definitely was a driving factor. Tina used Bette’s guilt as a weapon to punish Bette, and she used Bette’s love for Angie as the means to control her. Bette was broken by her own guilt and I think it was why she allowed the treatment she got from Tina, Helena, and Jodi. It was so sad to watch Season 1 alpha Bette transformed into such a submissive role. Personally I don’t think Bette would have returned to Tina after the affair had it not been for Angelica. I also don’t think that having the baby was the impetus for Tina’s ‘feelings for men’. That is my main reason for not including the affair or the pregnancy in the story line. Neither of those situations were the cause of the break-up they were symptoms of an already deteriorating relationship. I don’t know if this story will answer any of your questions, but it will definitely give you a different perspective. Thanks again for your interest and for taking the time to comment.
Bat, I share your point of view about Tina’s betrayal on the TV show; but what I really mean here is the guilt feeling of Tina, who couldn’t get pregnant, the remorse for her previous abortions, when she talked to Alice; Tina is hiding things from Bette, and Bette knows it; Tina’s “family” is not other than Bette’s circle where the blonde will always be an outcast if she breaks Bette’s heart; the guilt feeling of Tina for not fulfil what her partner wants and needs, what the others expect from her; the guilt feeling for not accomplish her role as a lesbian partner. I don’t have either psychological or sociological training (I’m at the other side of the spectrum), but people learn most the things from their childhood, and if they come from a very conservative family, and if they broke with the traditions or beliefs or the standards of their families, and they move on, they usually become strong persons (few other may remain with a guilty feeling), some may even be shy, but I believe, they will not be submissive, they won’t be subjects of manipulations nor let other people to rule over them; of course, there may be, many behavioral variations. Well, I will keep reading your story, to me it is extremely good though very painful and you left so many clues in your narrative that I can’t leave them aside, sorry for my long comments and have been bugging you, and please keep posting every evening (I mean, every day). Thank you for your explanation.
proteonomics, I can see definitely see where Tina would feel guilt for all the things you mention in this story. I love comments, and I love when readers are open to different perspectives and points of view. No need to apologize for long comments, the more the better. Thank you once again for giving the story a chance. I will post the next chapter shortly.
It’s always good to see Kit do some frank talking Tina as well as Bette should take some lessons from her. It seems it’s going to get worse and harder to believe that Bette and Tina will be able to find their way back to each other – but if that is what this story is about – than I am sure you have found a reasonable way to write this. If they are going their separate ways it’s ok with me too. It’s really nice to get these regular updates, looking forward to you next post.
as1219 – I think Kit’s wisdom should have been more prevalent in the show, but instead they made a caricature of her character. What a waste of talent; I try to make up for that in my stories. I think she is the only one that could say those things to Tina, with love but also so she understands the impact of her actions. She can also call Bette out on her sh*t. I’ve written stories like this where I have brought Bette and Tina back from despair to repair but it took a lot of work. This story is not focused on their reconciliation as lovers but I can’t discount their inherent connection..