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Chapter 7
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“I’m not fucking Josh Becker Kit.”
“It really doesn’t matter who you are fucking Tina. The point is you broke my sister’s heart. You were the best part of her and she loves you so much. She wanted a future and a family with you. You didn’t give a thought to maybe trying the couple’s retreat in the hopes that there was a chance to work things out. Instead you didn’t waste any time leaving skid marks on the road to that hard-on.”
“Kit you don’t understand what I’m going through. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
“Baby girl I may not know what you’re going through but I know suffering. I know conflict; and I know agonizing over something that takes control of you. I also know when someone is running away from themselves and their own demons. You can’t look to Bette or men or anyone else to find your happiness or your own personal truth. You have to do that for yourself. If going back to men is the course that takes you there then so be it, but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Don’t leave a trail of broken hearts while you go gallivanting around town exploring these ‘feelings’. Men may not show it as openly but they have feelings too and they can easily be hurt. Just think about those three over there.” Kit was indicating Michael, James and Angus. When you cut Bette Porter they bleed. You talk about losing the privileges of being her life partner…you see Alice, Dana, Shane, and Marina over there and even Jenny. Knowing those people and having them in your family is one of the privileges of knowing Bette Porter. She’s asked all of us not to shut you out. We promised her that we wouldn’t choose sides, but it’s going to be difficult for some of us.”
“I’m sorry Kit.”
“I know baby girl. We just want you both to be happy. If you can’t find that happiness together then go your separate ways. I just ask that you please use some discretion. It’s going to take her time to recover. It will be hard enough without you parading your new lovers in front of her.”
“I wouldn’t do that Kit.”
“Maybe not intentionally but she didn’t need to know that you were fucking someone else on the biggest night of her career. You could have at least waited until she left town. On top of everything else how could you pour salt in the wound like that?”
“Alice told you about Josh?”
“She let it slip. Luckily Bette didn’t hear it but she put two and two together when you didn’t come home.”
“Shit.”
Kit walked away and joined the rest of the group. Tina stood back and watched the only family she’d known for the past seven years. Bette’s family had embraced her. She was one of their own. Kit was right; her leaving Bette in the manner that she did was going to affect the whole family.
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Tina heart is breaking in Bette, band and all … please readers have to switch to a better future with tibette, more love! Less suffering ..your stories are too sad, do better
pikiangelica. Thank you for reading and commenting. I know my story is very painful, and sad. They are both suffering. I wish I could change the future and make it better but they both need to want it, and as you can see neither is willing to put in the work or to fight for the relationship. They have given up, so all I can do is help them to find happiness elsewhere.
Hi Bat, I read your notes, this story though very well written; it is still very painful, you are right, they can’t go back together after all this mess. Evidently Tina has doubts about her sexuality, and that happened since her pregnancy problems, when some guy suggested that she have to conceive in a heterosexual way. As Tina couldn’t get her answers with one night-stand with Josh because it didn’t materialize, now she would try a more serious relationship with a guy and see if that gives her a response to her doubts; if she is not totally clear about her sexuality she can’t go back to women; she has to compare and decide where she belongs. Bette, as well, can’t wait forever, she has to move on; and Kit is right, Tina can’t go everywhere breaking hearts. It would be interesting to examine what is behind of the psychological and sociological Tina’s and Bette’s behaviors in all these chapters; personally, I think someone has a guilt complex. Thanks for this very nice and painful chapter, I want to see where are you taking us and I want to understand the “whys” and “hows” in this relationship of my favorite couple, I’ll wait eagerly for a new update
proteonomics, I’m glad you are sticking with the story as I really enjoy reading your comments and insights. I wrote this story about six years ago and haven’t read it since so each chapter is new to me as i’m re-posting. I don’t recall how much analysis is revealed about their relationship but in any case it’s all just made up stuff from my perspective as I don’t have any type of psychological or sociological knowledge, studies, or background. I just felt that this is a very dysfunctional relationship and there is just so much pain and suffering that one can endure before they have to say enough and walk away. Bette gave Tina an ultimatum and I don’t think that was the way to handle Tina’s revelation about her feelings for men. I think I do address that in one of their conversations later in the story. The way this story is written much of the burden of the relationship going bad is on Tina but Bette is not blameless. I wanted to write this story because I felt that on the LWord show Bette’s affair overshadowed all the cruelty, pain, hurt and suffering that Tina inflicted in Season2/3 and yes, guilt definitely was a driving factor. Tina used Bette’s guilt as a weapon to punish Bette, and she used Bette’s love for Angie as the means to control her. Bette was broken by her own guilt and I think it was why she allowed the treatment she got from Tina, Helena, and Jodi. It was so sad to watch Season 1 alpha Bette transformed into such a submissive role. Personally I don’t think Bette would have returned to Tina after the affair had it not been for Angelica. I also don’t think that having the baby was the impetus for Tina’s ‘feelings for men’. That is my main reason for not including the affair or the pregnancy in the story line. Neither of those situations were the cause of the break-up they were symptoms of an already deteriorating relationship. I don’t know if this story will answer any of your questions, but it will definitely give you a different perspective. Thanks again for your interest and for taking the time to comment.
Bat, I share your point of view about Tina’s betrayal on the TV show; but what I really mean here is the guilt feeling of Tina, who couldn’t get pregnant, the remorse for her previous abortions, when she talked to Alice; Tina is hiding things from Bette, and Bette knows it; Tina’s “family” is not other than Bette’s circle where the blonde will always be an outcast if she breaks Bette’s heart; the guilt feeling of Tina for not fulfil what her partner wants and needs, what the others expect from her; the guilt feeling for not accomplish her role as a lesbian partner. I don’t have either psychological or sociological training (I’m at the other side of the spectrum), but people learn most the things from their childhood, and if they come from a very conservative family, and if they broke with the traditions or beliefs or the standards of their families, and they move on, they usually become strong persons (few other may remain with a guilty feeling), some may even be shy, but I believe, they will not be submissive, they won’t be subjects of manipulations nor let other people to rule over them; of course, there may be, many behavioral variations. Well, I will keep reading your story, to me it is extremely good though very painful and you left so many clues in your narrative that I can’t leave them aside, sorry for my long comments and have been bugging you, and please keep posting every evening (I mean, every day). Thank you for your explanation.
proteonomics, I can see definitely see where Tina would feel guilt for all the things you mention in this story. I love comments, and I love when readers are open to different perspectives and points of view. No need to apologize for long comments, the more the better. Thank you once again for giving the story a chance. I will post the next chapter shortly.
It’s always good to see Kit do some frank talking Tina as well as Bette should take some lessons from her. It seems it’s going to get worse and harder to believe that Bette and Tina will be able to find their way back to each other – but if that is what this story is about – than I am sure you have found a reasonable way to write this. If they are going their separate ways it’s ok with me too. It’s really nice to get these regular updates, looking forward to you next post.
as1219 – I think Kit’s wisdom should have been more prevalent in the show, but instead they made a caricature of her character. What a waste of talent; I try to make up for that in my stories. I think she is the only one that could say those things to Tina, with love but also so she understands the impact of her actions. She can also call Bette out on her sh*t. I’ve written stories like this where I have brought Bette and Tina back from despair to repair but it took a lot of work. This story is not focused on their reconciliation as lovers but I can’t discount their inherent connection..