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    Chapter 7 – Temptation

    It’s been a little over a month since Tina landed in Toronto. She threw herself into her work. There were many meetings, conversations, cases and responsibilities. They saw Carrie a couple of times after they broke up. The first was when Tina came to the apartment where they once lived together to collect the rest of their belongings and gave her the ring. The second was when Carrie brought Tina her work papers. Both times were strange, but peaceful. And completely emotionless for Tina. She was scared of it. After all, there must be at least some emotions in relation to the person with whom she was going to marry? They were absent. She knew that she had almost made a huge mistake, almost married this woman. The same can’t be said for Tina’s emotions about her ex-wife. They were very different and bright. Work, of course, distracted the blonde from constantly thinking about Bette, but every time there was a little less to do, all Tina’s thoughts went back to Los Angeles.

    The night Tina left LA a month ago, she and Bette met again. It was necessary for both of them, because they felt some kind of incompleteness, a suspended state. They met shortly before Tina’s flight at a coffee shop near the airport. It was an emotional conversation. Tina did most of the talking, and Bette listened. Tina said she was very sorry for everything that had happened over the past year. He regrets his stupidity, the words and actions that brought so much pain. She regrets being selfish. Bette talked about her insecurities last night. About how she was embarrassed by her own gesture. A kiss that she initiated. During Bette’s monologue, Tina slowly took her hand and stroked it lightly. It was almost imperceptible, but Bette’s voice became more and more calm because of it. Their conversation ended with the fact that they certainly both feel this attachment and an invisible thread, but what it means to them – no one understood. It was painful. It was too devastating to just let go and start over. None of them were ready to even talk about it right now. The wounds were open and bleeding, and you couldn’t put salt on them indefinitely.

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    1. Tina didn’t want to give Bette hope? Yikes. Not sure which is worse: this or it was a mistake. Either way Tina is still attempting to control the situation. Yes she is telling Bette things Bette totally deserves to know but on Tina’s time schedule and on her terms. Kind of important details to withhold and for over a month. Tina is playing God and Bette has every right to be upset – again. Tina has no right to care what Bette does and with whom she does it. Sadly, Bette is hurting and now she is looking to exert some control. Her comment about not fessing up in front of Angie is telling. Bette was never going to take the engagement well but Tina waited just a tad too long. And confessing their night together was not a mistake but she did not confess that to protect Bette? Oh Tina. Open mouth insert foot.

      • Yeah, sometimes Tina’s words sound weird. Expressing such important feelings can be a difficult task. And what we say may not always be what we originally wanted to say… it’s sad and interesting at the same time, I think…

    2. Wow…. nothing is easy, is it? This is what happens when you get a divorce. Sometimes you get to watch your ex flirt with another woman or suddenly announce that they were engaged to another woman. There are going to be moments when you are going to long for the other and they are simply not available because of the choices you have made. There is a strong connection between the two, but neither are ready or willing to start the process of being a couple again just yet. Both are going to have to determine what it is they want for their lives. And if they want to be a couple at some time in the future, they have to go through the hurting process again with the other so that they both understand what happened and why. Then maybe they can forgive each other. Or they can continue their lives being ex’s watching the other leave with someone else on their arm.

      I do not think that either Bette nor Tina will ever become accustomed to the other dating someone else. But that is what happens when you divorce. Bette feels like she was used in that night of passion and Tina’s pronouncing it a mistake because she was engaged and that now that she has broken it off it was beautiful? I think that Tina would have been better off by starting with the night of passion first. It was beautiful and it made her realize what a mistake it was to be engaged to Carrie…. The mistake was that she was engaged to Carrie not in sleeping with Bette. She should never have brought up the “hope” scenario in reference to Bette. If she had said that she didn’t want to give Angie the impression that they were getting back together, it may have been more understandable. Tina’s words are now associated with the memorable night forever.

      Tina has been thinking about this for a month…. do you not think she could have been a bit more diplomatic in her words as she told Bette about the engagement and her thoughts on the evening of pleasure? No it was not timely disclosure. But surely she would think about how Bette would respond given what had already been said and their existing relationship?

      This is a good story… hope to see more.

      • In a conversation with Bette, as in a conversation with Carrie earlier, Tina wants to speak correctly, but ends up saying hurtful things. Divorce is a difficult experience, especially when you realize that it happened, but love did not pass. I love your comments, Martha, thank you!

    3. Love this chapter. My favorite parts were how Bette & Tina were communicating when Tina was in Toronto, and Alice’s party. The best part was Tina getting jealous and fantasizing about Bette. Tina wants Bette, Bette wants Tina. It’s a process, but I’m thinking they will find their way back to each other. Really enjoying this story.

      • I find it very fascinating to mix people’s emotions. I like to study this process and consider it. Anger, love, jealousy, excitement… and all this in one second. Agree, it’s amazing what human feelings are capable of. Thank you!

    4. First, Tina was engaged within a year of the divorce. Second, Tina dropped that bomb after she broke up with Carrie. I’m not sure how Tina expected Bette to react especially after calling a night together a mistake. All of Tina’s openness and honesty should have happened during her marriage to Bette.

      Yeah, it sucks watching a ex with someone else. Especially, if you caused the break up.

      Consequences Tina. Consequences.

    5. Ada, your story is really good. You show real consequences, real emotions and imperfection that can exist in relationships that are long term and have a history of miscommunication. Tina is having to face the results of her poor decision making – watching Bette move on and flirt with another woman. Gulp. Her thoughts do not match her words – I think Billy said it best: open mouth, insert foot. How does crow taste anyway? Hoping for Tina to pull herself together soon! Please post soon!

    6. Hi Ada,

      Great chapter. Have to say though that this Tina is getting on my nerves!!!! She needs to make up her mind what she wants & then get on with it.
      She’s not being fair to Bette or herself for that matter.

      Keep it coming!!



      • Thank you for reading and for your comment! Yes, Tina can be annoying at times, but I hope to show different sides of her personality soon. And not just her. I look forward to seeing you in the next chapters!

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