Fan Fiction
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Chapter 8
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‘No. It’s driving me crazy, this whole situation.’
‘Yeah, it’s not great.’
‘I can’t bear it, Tee. I can’t bear not knowing if she’s really pregnant, and if she is, is she gonna keep it, and if she keeps it, who is this child’s father and—’
‘Bette—’
‘I’m sorry.’ Bette held her hands up. ‘I’m sorry. This has just been the craziest fucking day of my entire life . . . At one point this afternoon I was standing in line to get Angie a Slurpee to help with morning sickness at the same time as I was trying to remember how to Vogue!’
Bette did a little mime of herself in line, doing moves without being obvious about it. Tina laughed and moved closer. They just stood for a moment, listening to the voices floating on the air from the group by the fire.
‘You know what we were talking about earlier,’ Tina said, ‘about Chicago and what might happen if Angie has a baby?’ Bette just waited for her to go on. ‘I just wanted to say that I don’t know what I’m doing. I think . . . I think I’ve never known what I’m doing.’
Tina exhaled heavily. It felt good to say these things out loud.
‘I’m not like you, Bette, but I used to think it was possible for me to become like you. So I tried to listen, really hard, to see if I could hear what I wanted, y’know? Like maybe I had a voice inside me that was trying to tell me what would make me happy, if I could only listen hard enough. But I think it’s simpler than that. I think I’m just a person who follows other people. I don’t lead.’
She drew a little pattern on the wood of the balustrade. She was aware of Bette, very still, listening.
‘I felt flattered when Brian asked me. I mean, me . . . He asked me!’
Tina laughed. Bette didn’t. And then she said: ‘Why don’t you believe in yourself?’
A cold sweat bloomed on Tina’s palms. She half-smiled, then glanced away without replying.
‘I mean it,’ Bette continued. ‘I never understood where that came from. And I wonder sometimes if it played a part in our problems.’
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I’m lost with this one….. I am not sure what Tina is saying…. maybe if I read this again…
Thanks for the chapter….
Hi Martha! Thanks for reading and commenting. Not suprised you’re confused, lol – I don’t think this is the best chapter I’ve ever written. It’s hampered a little by being from Tina’s POV. She can’t see her problem clearly, so she might be wrong when she says the problem is Bette. But this is also just a complicated situation and I might have not done a very good job of it.
Oh well. I hope it was entertaining in places!
Thanks
L
I am going to go back and start at the beginning and binge read this. I too, Martha, feel like I’ve missed some of the story along the way. I like the story but I am unsure of what Tina and Bette are in their relationship??? Hopefully my read over will help. Gosh, poor Angie!
Hi Finn422! *waves* Thanks so much for reading this and for commenting. Your time and feedback is much appreciated. :-)
Like I said to Martha, I think this is a complicated situation but I’ve maybe made it worse by not writing very well. I’m sorry. I hope you maybe enjoyed some of the lighter sections of this story anyway?
Thanks again
L
PS – don’t worry about Angie, she’ll be fine, lol
Tina saying that Bette was the “problem” didnt immediately give me a WTF rise, bc I think she’s gonna expound on that more.
The comment about how “I felt flattered when Brian asked me. I mean, me…He asked me!” Is what raised my eyebrow. Was she talking about the most recent trip to Chicago to be apart of the new project? Or asked her to be his wife??
Last we knew, Bette had CERTAINLY become the type of spouse that “flattered” Tina. She was heads over heals in-love with Tina!!! How on earth could ANYBODY else outshine Bette’s affections??
And Angie??? As soon as she said that she did NOT want her morning coffee, it popped in my head that she was pregnant. And then when she immediately became nauseated at trying to eat her favorite breakfast, I was sold.
But we’ll see when they go to the Dr. For confirmation. We’ll see . . . .
Hi Dumplin, my friend! *waves* How are you doing? It’s lovely to see you here. Thanks for reading this and for posting a comment! :-)
I figured people would twig that Angie was pregnant at breakfast, so I tried not to string it out! But yeah, good that you got that.
The thing with Brian is just business. Tina is just flattered that he – a golf pro – thought that she was the person he wanted to bring on board with his new business. She’s just insecure about what she can bring to that, so she was flattered rather than thinking ‘oh sure, that makes sense, why NOT me??’ There’s nothing romantic there.
The thing with this story, and that I’m clearly not doing a great of, is that I’m trying to explore what needs to change with these two people so that they can go forward and be secure and happy for the rest of their lives. I also decided, maybe foolishly, to try and do that without showing either of them with a therapist!! Oh well. Maybe the next chapter will clarify things, lol
Thanks, Dumplin. I appreciate you reading this. Take care
L
Hey Largo,
Still reading this story but i find it confusing at times, maybe i will read the story again after you finished it.
Hi Bibi, my friend! *waves* Thanks for reading and commenting. :-)
I am taking on. board that folks are confused by this, lol. It’s partly confused because Tina is confused and this chapter is from her viewpoint, so she can’t step outside her own confusion and explain herself, if you see what i mean? However, I also think I haven’t written it very well. So I’m sorry about that. I hope the next chapter might be clearer!
Really appreciate you sticking with it! Hope you’re well! Not long till S3 and Tibette endgame!
L
Hey pal,
Wow, I honestly don’t know what to say except that I have to go back & reread the last 3 chapters to get my head around where this story is going.
Gotta be honest – it’s very confusing as you’ve noted.
So, before I comment further, let me review one more time.
Chat soon.
Hi Collins! *waves* Thanks so much for sticking with this story and giving me your thoughts. :-)
I think I really made a mess of this, lol. I wonder if what happened is that, in wanting Tina’s dialogue to be realistic I’ve ended up with her not making herself clear? I didn’t want her to sound like a therapist. But basically she’s just really doubting herself, and her ability to make the right decisions. She loves Bette but she’s aware that she loved her before, and still hurt her – so that’s confusing, right?
aaarghh….. oh well – I’ll try and make Ch9 better!
Hope you’re well, my friend?
L
Wave right back at ya!!
Of course, you’ll always be my friend. But I think you were asking if I’m, ok?? Yes, I am.
TBH, this story has taken turns that I hadn’t anticipated when you first started to right it. Which is ok, story twists & surprises are always good & keep the reader on their toes & on the edge of our seats at times too.
But I don’t think you’ve got this settled in your mind yet. ???
I think your intention was to show Tina’s perceptive & her hesitation to once again become emotionally involved with Bette in a romantic way. She’s doubting herself & if & why Bette could ever love her & maybe even why Bette loved her in the first place. ???
But if that’s true, it’s not how it’s come across on the page. Tina blaming Bette was like a cold slap in the face!
Again, let me read thru the last few chapters again. I know you’re on a tight time schedule, so I hope to get back to you asap.
Stay well yourself. A bit chilly here in TX this week. WooHoo!!!
Hello! *waves* Sorry, I somehow didn’t notice you’d replied to my reply. Thank you for that. I think we covered all the bases in our epic emails, lol
Take care
L