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    Checking in

    “It’s good to get the reinforcement but I really don’t feel that I will ever make those mistakes again.”

    “Sometimes all we need a reminder. What else do you have on your mind?”

    “Doc how do we handle the time-lines? Tina didn’t conceive for two years. Back then we never set a timeline, or a contingency plan should she not be able to get pregnant. As I mentioned we are hopeful that this time she will conceive quickly but how do we know when it’s time to give up and look at alternatives. How do we manage that?”

    “You’ve talked about alternatives but once again be realistic about time-lines. You want to give yourselves enough of a chance for success but how do you determine when it’s time to give up and try something different? That’s going to be a personal choice. I can’t answer that for you, but how you handle it very crucial. Tina you need to go into this knowing that there is a possibility however slight that you may not be able to carry this child yourself. That doesn’t mean that you failed yourself, Bette or anyone else. You can’t let it affect your self-esteem, your sexuality, or how you feel about your body or your partner. Bette the same goes for you. You are aiding in the process with the home insemination. As long as you are following the procedures and feel confident that you’re doing everything right then continue doing it, but there may come a day when you might want to think about doing the insemination under a doctor’s care instead. It’s not a failure on your part if you must make that decision. It’s not as intimate as if you were in your own bedroom but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be loving to your wife and make her feel just as sexy. There is also no rule that says you can’t take a break. If you’ve been trying for six months in a row with no results and it’s becoming too stressful or you are starting to feel the strain on your relationship take a break from the insemination; continue your sexual activities but for a month or two you don’t think about insemination, Just enjoy each other then you start again when you feel ready. Ladies there is not book written on this that I can just read from and tell you exactly what is going to happen. Everyone’s experience is unique. All I can say is be sensitive to one another and talk things out. The other thing you want to do is share your feelings. Don’t isolate yourselves from your friends and family. I’m not saying that everyone should know your business, but I think everyone that is close to you knows of your desire to have another child. If you are sensitive on the subject, then tell them not to question you every time they see you. You don’t want to hear “Are you pregnant yet?” Let them know that you will share the news when it happens and when it’s appropriate and in your own time. Don’t feel pressure from them and discourage them from giving unsolicited advice. Just set clear boundaries and they will respect that. I can’t stress this enough – people can’t read your mind. You must tell them what you are thinking. If they are doing or saying anything that bothers you, let them know. That especially goes for the two of you.”

    “I think Tina and I have different ideas about setting boundaries with our friends and family so that is definitely one that we need to work on.”

    “I get the whole Alice thing. I realize how hurtful and insensitive it was for me to involve her but to be honest I am really having a hard time with where we draw the line with Peggy.”

    “It seems that having the Peabody’s as part of your intimate family unit will eventually lead to all of you having to address the ‘elephant in the room’, namely Helena Peabody. Tina, I think you and Peggy need to build your own daughter in law/mother in law relationship based on getting to know each other in the present. She only knows you based on your history with her natural and her adopted daughters neither of which shows you in your best light. Bette. I know you love, and trust Peggy. She has filled that maternal void for you but like any mother-in-law you need to be sensitive to your wife’s feelings about her. Set those clear boundaries we talked about earlier for family and friends alike.”

    ”Anything else that we haven’t covered?”

    Both Bette and Tina agreed that they’d covered the pressing issues for now.

    I think checking in was a good call. In my professional opinion, I will say that you’re both in a good place emotionally to manage whatever comes your way. If during the process you feel the need to talk individually or as a couple, I’m always available for you. That goes for Angie too as she makes space for a sibling.”

    “Thank you, doc., we will keep that in mind.”

    Getting out of therapist mode the three friends made plans for their daughters to have a play date. As they were parting ways Emma gave them both hugs and told them “Go get your ‘magical juice’ and enjoy your romantic evening.”

    Comments

    1. Great session with Emma!

      I am happy that both Tina and Bette are open for counseling and talk open about their feelings.

      Most important is to set boundaries to their friends and Peggy and for them self as couple.

      Never forget the intimacy and be honest about your feelings. Emma is a great help to them.

      Great chapter!

      • Bibi28 Thank you. Appreciate the comment and glad you enjoyed the session with Emma. I agree setting boundaries, being intimate and talking through their feelings is a great way to set the foundation for dealing with whatever comes their way.

    2. Bat2012 – Sorry, I thought I responded to this one….but let me write another one just in case.

      I thought the advice was absolutely excellent. However, sometimes I get the impression that Tina while appearing to be involved with these sessions seems to be holding something back from Bette and from Emma. She may not know what it is exactly but there is something about the reason she left Bette which has not been acknowledge and dealt with. If memory serves me, Tina was frustrated with the insemination process, leaves Bette for Helena because Helena makes her feel wanted, needed, and attractive. Tina finds out she pregnant, acknowledges Bette as the baby’s other mother, but continues to see Helena for sex while having Bette accompany her to doctor’s appointments and birthing classes etc. In the eight month, Helena stops being interested in Tina, and Tina decides to move in with Bette to have the baby. This takes Bette by complete surprise but has hopes this is a reconciliation. But instead, Tina stays for six months and then leaves again. They share custody of Angie. Both are very good and devoted parents. Bette waits for Tina for approximately four years when she to dates Jodi. Tina dates Kate Arden at the time. Bette breaks up with Jodi and Kate breaks up with Tina about the same time and with a push from Angie, Bette and Tina get back together. By the time Bette and Tina have their first intimacy after Tina has moved back in with Bette, it had been five years since their last intimacy. There had been no intimacy during the six months Tina lived with Bette after the birth of Angie. My question is why did Tina move back in with Bette for the birth of Angie and yet make no effort to reconcile with her child’s other mother? Bette indicates that every attempt she made, she received a push back from Tina. I take that to mean every attempt at conversation as well as affection was rebuffed making the sole reason for Tina to live with Bette to allow her to bond with her child and to assist Tina with child care during that period of her life. There appears to be little or no effort to reconcile with Bette at all. So what was that all about? Why would she put Bette through that emotional turmoil of giving her hope that she was back in her life when it was simply not going to happen? This is the part that has never been explained by Tina.

      The bottom line for Tina has been that she left Bette to begin with because she felt unwanted, undesirable and unloved. But then she comes back to Bette and maintains Bette at arms length for the sake of the baby only to leave again without any attempt to resolve the original issues. Was this Tina’s objective when she moved back in with Bette to have the baby? Since Tina has always been in the controlling position on the relationship, in that she has always been the one who decided she would leave Bette and when she would come back, she is the one who has to explain or come to terms with her actions. This is the part which Tina has not examined nor explained.

      If or when Tina gets pregnant and has a baby, there will be a time in which this unexplained actions will have bearing on their current lives. This is one of those things that Tina probably needs one on one therapy to get to what was responsible for these actions or non-actions. And then it takes five years and Kate Arden to bring to her attention how much she desires and loves Bette seems something that Tina needs to look at as well. Some part of herself is resisting what she desires most deep in her heart. Why is that? Is it fear of failure or rejection, so best not to risk an attempt and repress that which she desired the most in life – a loving relationship with one Bette Porter?

      My impression is that Tina is prone to flee rather than attempt to stand and face problems. In the past, both Bette and Tina have made assumptions about the situation without getting conformation as to whether the assumption was true or not. Tina assumed that she was unattractive and unwanted by Bette. Bette assumed that she was unneeded by Tina. And all of this was from misreading each others actions rather than having a conversation and discussing the true reasons for the actions they were seeing. And these assumption perpetuated themselves for 5 or 6 years. That is a true tragedy. Fortunately in this story, they have resolved most of these bad assumptions. I think we still have just a little bit further to travel in this reconciliation process to assure a good foundation for their future life together.

      • Hi Martha3128 – thank you for going back and leaving a comment. If you left one before it never showed up, as I was looking for it. You’ve provided an accurate accounting of their lives up to the point where they reconcile after the push from Angie. In the first version of this story when they met with Emma there was a confrontational conversation between Bette and Tina, that I decided to leave out this time around. I will PM you. I don’t know if I addressed everything that you bring up about Tina in the story but I do have more conversations about her actions and she does see Emma again on her own.

        You bring up a lot of good points. I don’t know if you’ve read my story ‘What More Could I Want.” That’s one where they spent a bit of time in couple’s therapy at a retreat. I think in that story I did try to delve deeper into explaining some of their actions. At least that was my interpretation. If you get a chance to read it, I would love to hear your thoughts.

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