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Comfort Enough
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“It’s not as exciting as it sounds. Tina has to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes, and it’s getting harder for her to find a comfortable position to sleep in, so she’s tossing and turning.”
“*****, you must both be exhausted.”
“Tired but talking. You’d be amazed how much processing you can do in the wee hours when your defenses are down. Apparently I’m quite a bit easier to get along with when I’m only half awake,” Bette said.
“I always thought you were much easier to get along with when you were totally asleep, but that’s just me,” Alice said. “You guys are okay, though, right?”
Bette paused to consider the question fully, searching her heart for a moment before answering. “We’reperfect.”
“Everyone always said so. But now I think that might actually be true.”
“Now about this occasion situation,” Bette warned.
“I know, I know. No presents. Give the money to a leper colony in Encino that needs to buy bandages,” Alice groused before disconnecting the call.
~~
“I don’t know. If Tina said no presents” Shane blinked, trying not to succumb to total sensory overload as she followed Alice through the aisles of Babies R Us.
“Oh, don’t be such a *****,” Alice said, rolling her eyes. “We’ll make a donation to the teenage whatchamacalit people. But Tina has got to be smoking crack if she thinks we’re not buying this baby any presents. Are they raising the kid as a Jehovah’s Witness?”
“Do people really need all of this stuff?” Shane asked, stopping to look at a display of pacifiers that featured 12 different brands.
“***** no. Half of this ***** wasn’t even invented when we were babies, and we turned out all right. Wellmore or less,” Alice said, looking Shane up and down.
“So, if they don’t want it, and they don’t need it, then why are we here?”
“Because it’s fun, Shane. F-U-N. Look at this little bear. Isn’t this the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life?” Alice squealed, picking up a small plush toy.
“Uhit’s a rabbit, Al.”
“It is not a rabbit! Rabbits don’t have tails like this. Rabbits don’t have tiny round ears.”
“Yeah, well rabbits aren’t blue, either. But neither are bears,” Shane observed.
“Okay, that’s another thing. It’s really hard to buy presents for this little Kenter kid without knowing if it’s a boy or a girl. What’s the big mystery all about? The doctor could have told Tina months ago.”
“She wants to be surprised,” Shane said.
“It’s not like she’s going to have a kangaroo. Now that would be a surprise. This is either a boy or a girl. And knowing which would make it a lot easier for me.”
“What, so you can support all of those pink and blue stereotypes?” Shane asked, arching her eyebrows.
“I can’t be traditional about one thing? Fine. I want to know whether or not it’s okay for me to buy a big frilly pink crib blanket covered with ruffles, okay? So sue me.” Alice put her hands on her hips defiantly.
“I don’t understand why they make everything for babies in pastel colors. The first time they throw up on it, it’s ruined.”
“And you’re suggesting what? Baby camo fatigues? Or basic black?”
“I’m suggesting that we look at something more practical. Like a stroller or a car seat,” Shane said, turning and walking deeper into the store.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Alice mumbled, tossing the blue plush toy into the cart before heading after Shane.
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Looks like Alice is the funnyest thing on the show. Might be Jenny. Tina is surely more of the boss than Bette is she do seem to get her way more.
Can’t…stop…laughing……….
There were so many great one-liners in this one that I can even begin to choose a favorite.
Sooooo, Alice, Bette and Shane. Bullseye!
Lovely chapter – have been missing the funny banter in S2.
“Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.”
Thanks for writing!
I dont know why ppl think Bette is the dominant one Tina seems to always get what she wants her at least her needs seem to be top priority for her framily.
“Oh, don’t be such a pussy,” Alice said, rolling her eyes. “We’ll make a donation to the teenage whatchamacalit people. Great line from Alice….sheeees baaaack!
I like vam really missed the lighter interaction between framily members in S2…..great update, thanks!
* Cute * Fun * Happy *
Thanks for the smiles on a Tuesday morning. And Thanks for sharing this story again.
cute* juz sooo cute.
Love the shoppping for the baby and Alice’s comments. A kangaroo! Funny stuff.
“You provide the baby, I provide the shower. Do you see where this is going?”
“And you’re sure about this? She wasn’t on some Yoohoo bender when she brought it up?”
“How did you two go from not discussing anything less than a year ago to hosting summits?”
Apparently I’m quite a bit easier to get along with when I’m only half awake,” Bette said.
“I always thought you were much easier to get along with when you were totally asleep, but that’s just me,” Alice said.
“I know, I know. No presents. Give the money to a leper colony in Encino that needs to buy bandages,”
But Tina has got to be smoking crack if she thinks we’re not buying this baby any presents. Are they raising the kid as a Jehovah’s Witness?”
Half of this crap wasn’t even invented when we were babies, and we turned out all right. Well…more or less,” Alice said, looking Shane up and down.
“And you’re suggesting what? Baby camo fatigues? Or basic black?”
LMAO….the things that come out of Alice’s’ mouth!! I dedicate this chapter to Alice – she is funny as hell!
“so im thinking that what i need is an occasion. something fun to look forward to since christmas is so far way,” this story is my christmas present. *sigh*
“danas wedding isnt enough for you?”
“maybe i wasnt clear. when i said occasion, i was thinking of something celebratory. or at least something that didnt make me want to puke.” priceless
“no guess the birth weight, guess the due date, pin the tail on the stork”
“mother tina of calcutta.”
“she wasnt on some yoohoo bender when she brought it up.”
“i always thought you were much easier to get along with when you were totally asleep, but that just me.”
and everything snQQpy said. dont want to duplicate, ahaha. the jokes. the closeness, the love, friendship. god what has IC done to our show. we havent seen any of this since s1. thanks again.
You write alice just the way i envision her on the show. Great writing fanficchick!
LMAO..Alice is something else..thanks for the lovely and funny chapter post soon
Baby, baby
Where did our show go?
And all of its promises
of fun forever more?
I’ve got this burning, yearning, yearning
feeling inside me
For a storyline
about Bette and T
They came into our lives
they were the perfect kind
But in the next season
They seemed to leave love behind
Now that we’ve surrendered
For season three
We’re at the mercy
of the mind of IC
Ooh, Baby, baby
Where did our show go?
Don’t they want it?
Don’t they love it no more?
Fanfic, Greentea, please don’t leave me
Ooh, please don’t leave me
All by myself
Hey techgal so true where did our show go. IC put us through so much drama last season even Alice could barely get us to laugh and thats almost impossible. Now back to this update. You gotta love Alice and Shane. The sane and insane too funny, Shane at Baby’s r us. STill lovin this story, god I wish IC would read some of this stuff and see how we all really feel.
Where did our show go?