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Crossroads- Ch. 18
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Dr. Wheeler sat back. "Lara, originally we were going to talk about your dreams today. But, coming in you expressed some worry over the fact that your sister disclosed the nature of your mother’s death to your friends, and especially to Alice. I know today has been raw and very painful. But, I think you needed to verbalize what happened. And, I think, as cliché as it may sound, that your past has a lot to do with what is going on with you today. I suspect you agree."
Lara was fighting hard to keep the sobs at bay. She focused furiously on the wadded up kleenex she was clutching.
Elisabeth continued, "You were a little girl when your mother killed herself, Lara. And make no mistake, your mother was a sick woman. Depression is an illness that is very hard to control. Her death was her selfish choice, not your responsibility. You forced yourself to grow up in one afternoon, and I suspect you have operated with a great sense of accountability since that day. Now, we should think about how that might have affected your relationship with Dana and the repercussions of her death. I think that may be the key to these nightmares."
Lara’s breath caught in a ragged gasp as the tears began to spill once again. She buried her face in her hands as wracking sobs filled the room. This time, Elisabeth did not withdraw. Instead she moved to sit on the loveseat beside Lara. "It’s okay. Let it out. Just cry." She rubbed Lara’s back and cradled the broken woman in her arms.
They sat like that for twenty minutes.
–**–
Lara slid behind the steering wheel and sat quietly for a minute. She felt completely drained. She’d assured Elisabeth she was fine when the doctor had asked if she was okay to drive. She fumbled in her purse for a minute, extracted her cell phone and powered it on. As she turned the engine over, the phone chirped insistently. Almost numbly, Lara looked at the id. "Meg." With a forced cheerfulness she answered. "Hey Meg! What’s up?"
Meg’s bright voice was full of excitement. "Hey! Look I’m still at Wax, Alice is almost done, but we’re running a little late. Are you already home?"
"No, I’m just headed that way now."
"Okay…listen, I have a change of plans to run by you."
"Okay." Her voice was wary.
"Shane is having a cookout with Jenny and some other friends, then they’re going to listen to a band at The Planet. She’s invited us to come along. Alice has already made some noise about wanting a quiet night, so I thought this might be a good option for me if you guys want to have a real date night. What do you think?"
Lara felt a surge of relief. "Honestly, I’d like to have a quiet night with Alice. So, if that sounds like something you want to do, go for it."
Meg laughed. "I told Alice you’d feel that way. Shall I put her on? I think she’s all done now."
"Sure thing, and Meg?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you. Have fun tonight, okay?"
"Love you too, sis…I’ll call if I decide to spend the night at Shane and Jenny’s okay?"
"Alright…but tomorrow, we’ll catch up?"
"You bet."
Meg handed the phone to Alice. "Lara?"
"Hey. So, you want a quiet night, too?"
"That sounds heavenly. Why don’t I pick up some Thai and head your way?"
"7:00?"
"I’ll be there. And, Lara?"
"Yes?"
"I can’t wait to see you."
"Same here," she whispered.
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Oh, Lara. I’m glad she’s got a doc like Wheeler, cos Lara’s been due that hug for ages, by the sound of it. I hope Lara’s still not too raw from the session so that she’s able to talk Alice. Another good un’, Goldrun. Keep them coming, please.
Loving the story. Great chapter. Can’t wait of the next post.
Wow. wow. wow. Did I mention…wow? I need to read this one again to let it sink in. I can imagine your assertion that this chappy would have been indeed hard to grapple with and write. But what a touching job you have done. Dayum! I second jp22’a call on Lara needing that hug, big-time. Sigh. Meg is such a great vehicle for bringing out the Lara/Alice connection, too. I totally heart the line about Alice loving Lara but not having spoken the words yet. I’m an oldest sister so I know that awesomely-loving-even-though-it-can-annoy dynamic that can only exist among sisters. I’ll admit it, I’m sick this week with a sinus infection and have been crapily unproductive with work issues so far this week, so your updates are little sparks of happy. But really, no pressure, LOL! I cannot WAIT to read more about Lara and Alice’s quiet night in and, in general, see how Lara moves forward with externalizing the stuff she’s got stirring her up. Sheyaaat, she needs someone to be her rock for once [errr…Miss “A”, phone call, line 1!]. From my readership point of view, and this cannot simply be because I’m a big Lace advocate, but rather via how you are crafting these characters, the tenderness between these two is always underlying, always respectul, never simple…all without being sappy or unbelievable. Superb! And shucks, you are too kind, between your and Bluemini’s work I may just get inspired to get on board and write -some- day…you guys rock and it’s amazing how addicting all this is, huh? I’m glad we can exchange reading and writing and writing about the reading. And lastly…POST AGAIN like…NOW;) hehehe….
what poor lara has had to go thought just to get where she is now is not fair but by talking about it she will feel her pain lesson a little bit each day but she will never forget what has happen in the past and she will never stop loving the poeple that she has lost along the way can’t wait to see what will happen next please post soon I love it great update
wow, intense chapter…really loving the story! post more soon!
Sorry I havent commented in a while, I really suck at that, but I just caught up on the last few chapters. I do have to say that this is one of my favorite stories at the moment, and it just continues to get better. I loved Meg’s character, and she fit right in. I hope that the talk between Alice and Lara go well, and that Lara really begins to start dealing with her inner demons. I want a healthy Lara, and a very happy Alice and Lara relationship! Ha ha. Great job! Post again soon please! :-)
Wow – three updates in as many days… a girl could get used to this, Gold! :) Like Min, I had to read this one over again before posting – really, really powerful stuff! I can completely understand how it would have been a difficult one to write, but you did a fantastic job, as usual. As sad as Lara’s family history is, I’m so glad that you’re exploring it – it just gives an incredible amount of depth to her character which, as you say, has been lacking on the show. I can so see Lara being forced to grow up early and take care of everyone around her, while neglecting her own healing. All of that stuff inevitably came back to haunt her in her relationship with Dana when she was ill, and now again in her relationship with Alice. It all makes so much sense… which is just another tribute to your writing skills! Also, I love how the combination of Lara’s therapy and Meg’s presence in this story is really bringing everything to the fore in a believable way. Poor Lara – I feel so bad for her! But yay for a quiet night in with Alice in the next chapter; I suspect that is exactly what she needs! Thanks for another great update – as for mine, you’ve definitely motivated me to work faster on it, though it might be another day or two before anything is posted. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to your next update!
That’s a lot of really powerful backstory…and it all works. Well done and really finely crafted. Lots of depth and layers. with more in every chapter. Way to go! What would it mean if I said to post soon…like two chapters a day? Ohh, that’d be good!
I just caught up with this story. Loved all of the updates, they were magnificient! Meg is cool and adorable. I like her dynamics with Alice. And the fact she was like a buffer between Lara and Alice (filling in the blanks). I must admit…when I read Max’ name I was really wondering who that person was…somehow deleted him from my hard disk. ;) Luckily Meg and Max aren’t going to date… Poor Lara, having to carry this feeling of guilt around for ages. Elisabeth is right…Lara isn’t to blame. But how could you know when you’re 13? I think this last session is a turning point for Lara. I hope she will be able to face her demons and will be able to fight them. And I love Alice for just being Alice, loving, caring, understanding and patient. Lara will probably still be drained when Alice comes over. But I hope she will open up to Alice once she’s ready. They are so cute together and I really want them to have a chance be together as a couple. Btw, loved alice’s screenname…Chart Chick. Don’t know why but it just sounds like Alice.
Wow just read this whole story from the beginning. Brilliant! I’m a Danish fan at heart but have always liked Lara, both in fiction and on screen. Keep it up, oh and Meg is a great creation :)
habe gerade gesehen, dass ich den gar nicht gepostet hatte…wow! the background that you’ve created for lara fits perfectly to her character!!i hope she can find a way with her psychologist to get rid of that guilty feeling.only then can she really deal with alice. i would have ssssooooooo much loved to see them in a long-term relationship .. ……(although i admit, that i’m very harmony-seeking)the more you write about meg , the more i like her! i hope she stays a while longer , then expediates her return , should she fly out altogether.such a great sister(as well as friend)is just what lara needs to come to terms with the situation.surely alice is helping her a lot, but she has a lot to clear up with meg.my weekend was very nice, in bremen there is a very nice friend of mine.when i’m there i feel almost at home.i’m madly looking forward to your next update,NAREN.ps: bin dabei den naechsten zu uebersetzen…