Dear Diary,

Never in my life have I slept as peacefully then I did last night.  I, like I do often went to Bette’s after Sunday brunch with her and we had the most amazing day.  We talked about anything and everything.  I found out that she hasn’t seen her older sister Kit in six months between her touring with her band and that she’s been drinking again.  Apparently Bette’s newest guilty pleasure is watching the new show ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, her favorite color is blue, she enjoys swimming for exercise although will occasionally jog down the beach on a nice but not too hot day, her favorite moment was the day she opened her gallery.  She even shared with me that her saddest moment was when she realized that her mother left and really wasn’t coming back.  She told of memories with her father when she was growing up and he was working late and would sit her down in the chair in his office for her to read while he was working.  Then the times that he was so strict but she said that without him being strict she would be who she is and he was strict with her in reaction to Kit being a wild child as a teenager.  The more she talked the more I realized that Bette is most definitely a ‘Daddy’s girl’.

It was like we were playing 20 questions and when it was my turn I started out with telling her about my family in North Carolina.  We all lived close, my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and are a pretty tight-knit group.  My dad, Joe grew up on his parents’ farm and went to business school and runs the business side of the farm now.  My mom, Carolyn was the classic southern mother, always ready for the three of us kids and our friends with cookies or other baked after-school snacks and ever present in our lives.  My older sister Sarah went to one of the local colleges not wanting to leave to comforts of home and graduated with a teaching degree and is working on her Master’s degree.  Then I told her of my baby sister Rebekah Rose, most definitely the baby of the family.  The ‘oops’ of the family, my parents thought they were done having kids but when I was 9 and Sarah was 13 they sat us down  and told us that we were going to have a baby at the end of the year.  At the end of November, the day after Thanksgiving Rebekah was born all eight pound and three ounces of her with a bald little head and these bright blue eyes that looked right into your soul.  Bette asked what Rebekah was up to now and I said doing what 15 year old do, rebel from their parents.  But she is rebelling in a different way, just secluding herself and focusing on her love of art.  I told her that she and Beka would probably get along like two peas in a pod although Beka is more focused on painters and Bette has a more wide range appreciation of different forms of art.

Bette asked if I had told them about us but I think she already knew that the answer is no.  I don’t know how to tell them that their prized middle daughter is not going to fulfill their dream of the husband, 2.5 kids and a dog living on a tree- lined street in a house surrounded by a white picket fence.  My being gay is most definitely not going to go over well with them.  I’m sure they’ll get used to the idea but at first there will be an explosion I am sure.

The day continued and we moved out to the pool, probably my favorite place in her house.  We ate and talked some more but this time the talked moved to me sitting with Bette on her lounge chair and kissing like we were meant to.  I was so focused on the kissing and her tongue darting in and out of my mouth and didn’t even realize that my hand and worked its way up inside of her shirt and was stroking her breast.  When I did notice I quickly pulled it away but Bette smiled at me as I looked embarrassed and took my hand and placed it back where it had been saying “T, it’s okay, you can touch there.”  We have moved further in our relationship and our making out was more intense and hands wander to breasts and asses.  I discovered that I am 100% sure that I am a lesbian because I love her breasts, the feel, color, texture, they are perfect.