I didn’t know who I was. And I didn’t care as long as she was around. I don’t know why a movie freaked her out so much. Anyhow….we went out that night. Some kind of island celebration of life and love and other things. She got terribly drunk. So drunk that we had to leave.

 So we walked on the beach under the stars with the moon high and full in the sky. The sky its self was not black but blue and clear and full of glittering stars….cobalt yes…that’s the word…cobalt blue sky. I looked at the sky and wondered why I could remember such a random word like cobalt, but I couldn’t remember if I looked more like my mother or father who abandoned me.

We walked Carmen and I. Carmen, this amazing sexy, smart and a twisted kind of funny, this woman I met who made me feel like something new and reawakened. I was falling I love with her. And I wanted to tell  herso many times but I didn’t. Anyways ….we walked till she felt a little more sure of herself. We stopped and sat on the beach. She leaned her head on my shoulder. I could smell her shampoo. Some kind of natural herbal type that I used because I didn’t remember to bring those kinds of things along.

She asked me a question. So soft like maybe she was thinking it more than asking………..

“Doesn’t it ever bother you…..not remembering anything?”

“No. Can’t change it. Why bother?”

“So if someone came to you with your whole life story you wouldn’t want to hear it?”

“Not really it wouldn’t change anything. It would probably make my life worse.”

“Yeah…….”

That was the end of that. She didn’t ask me anymore questions. Instead she pushed me down and climbed on top of me. Her hair hanging wild and loose. Her skirt riding up her thighs as she guided my hands to her heat, I licked my lips the way I wanted to lick her. I could hear her mind; I could read it from her. The words in her head….I want you. I need you, please, I want to become someone else, I want to feel like you, I want you, I want you to make me feel it, please Shane make me feel it.