Maybe it was me. Maybe it was the roar of the waves in my ears. Maybe it was that rushed sigh of hers in my ears, those hot licks of her tongue on my neck the way she pulled me closer the more I got inside her. And when I was inside her, those walls closing in, dragging and pulling me, my hair a grab in her hands. The way she rocked against me. That deep kiss and her tongue and everything just so perfect, so dreamlike, closer and closer right there at the edge of the world…that’s when it hit me. That pulling pulse of her throbbing against me. It hit me so hard that I couldn’t believe it. What if? The girl, the island retreat? What if it was too good to be true? What if I was dead or something. Dreaming or something….what if none of this was happening?

She smiled at me. She kissed me.

“Are you real?”

“Am I real? You made me come so hard in your arms in this perfect place but you are asking me am I real? You know sometimes you are so out of this world Shane……come on…I really want to be with you….alone……I will show you how real I am……no more dreamlike unrealities for you.”

No more dreamlike unrealities……

She dragged me up with her. And we ran to my hut which had become our hut. Three weeks and I already felt like I loved her. I just met her, didn’t know a fucking thing about her but when we touched, when she left. When I walked out alone all I could think about was Carmen Morales.

The tribal island music made everything surreal. I felt like I was on edge. Door closed behind us. Clothes off naked on naked. Where did she start? Where did I end? Smooth kisses, nipples, teeth, thoughts in my head when she kissed and licked her way down. Déjà vu all over again. Of us in a different place, of her tongue kissing these bullet holes that decorate my body, a knife wound, a cabin. Random images. Too real. And there she was in them……I froze. She looked at me. I pulled her close, closer. We kissed hot, sloppy, tongues not matching, bruising lips, her hips so close my hand inching to feel that slippery feel of her. She pushed me away saying it was my turn. He head disappeared into my lap. And there it was takeoff. My mind soaring high in the sky as she licked and nibbled, her tongue swirling, in my head I am thinking god she is good and fair, and her tongue makes me wanna die right now, happy and free, and I want her to keep going, I want her to never stop. I want her to never leave, and then she slips her fingers inside, and I want to cry its that good. What could she have done to make it better? Nothing….I came…..back down…the landing…..fluttering eye lids, the oh my god’s, then please then fuck, then shit, then fuck again and we did we fucked all night till the beats on the island stopped, till the sun came up, back and forth we went. Then together, then I watched her, how she liked it, then she watched me, then we did the thing…the her and the me………..then we slept……and when I woke up she was gone.